Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Readers questions: Anger, realtionship advice

I seem to be very good at making a post where i have the missed comments i am going to answer in posts (as its easier to bundle them together or answer in a post than in the comment section) but also extremely good at then forgetting about that post.... So some answers or a few days late but hopefully thats ok :)

A random question, don't worry AT ALL if you don't have time for it, but ... what exercises would you do if you have heaps of pent up energy but a bad knee, and very weak arms (the latter not through injury, all I mean is that something like push-ups is not currently an option!)?
I am not so sure if you mean just gym exercises... but first off i would recommend swimming or the cross trainer if you have lots of energy but a bad knee as those are usually ok to do despite having knee pain. Though not sure if cardio is the goal, but with gym exercises/strength training i would mayb do a circuit for upperbody.... such as picking maybe 8 exercises targetting the different parts of your upperbody and then doing 8-15 reps for each exercise and doing the whole thing 3-5 times! Otherwise i find that shoulder workouts are always tough and great if i have alot of energy such as doing military presses or side flies etc.
  But remember, if you are "weak" in something, then that is what you should do more of to work up your strength in that area :) You can do push ups on your knees or against a wall.... we all start somewhere! But when it comes to pain in knees or back, if you find that you can do some form of exercise without any pain then its usually fine... but if you feel some type of pain or weird tingly feeling then maybe abstain from that exercise form.

Oh and hey if you don´t mind I have a question to you ;) I am sure you maybe already did a post about this topic ;) but at the moment I often struggle with anger and rage of myself ;) especially when others want to help me overcoming some fears of my ED :( but maybe I am also still so angry on myself for still having ed related thoughts? ;) It would be so lovely to hear from you of how you deal with such feelings ;) thaaaaanks in advance, and I hope so much you are fine ;) 

Thank you, i hope you are doing well apart from maybe this inner anger/rage you are dealing with. During my recovery i had ALOT of anger inside of me.... i was angry at myself and angry at the world. Also alot of irritation and had many mood swings... and there were times i wanted to throw plates out of anger and it felt like i couldnt control those emotions and i didnt always know why i felt so angry. But i think it is just pent up emotions and thoughts, that as you said... you are angry at yourself. And if people are also "forcing you" to recover or do things you dont want to, then you get angry at them for "forcing you" or "getting all up in your business", but when it comes to recovery it is important to remember that family, friends and doctors all want to help you. But some dont know how to help in the right way - which is only understandable. But sometimes people do or say things which are supposed to help you, but just make you angry and irritated and their actions have the opposite effect.

The first thing i would suggest is to identify when you have those anger feelings and see what triggered it. Was it a comment, someone else, your own thoughts? And second... what can you do to get rid of those feelings at that moment in time? Either going for a walk, listening to music, writing, sitting in silence for a while or trying to think rationally, but also certain breathing techniques can help when you feel very angry or feel the pent up emotions or anger rising inside of you. I would also try to connect the dots.... what triggered the anger and why? And then try to be aware of what might trigger you and what way you cope best.

What i can say however is that that anger does go away.... when you begin to live more healthy and feel more healthy, when you feel that people arent always trying to control you but also when your eating disorder fades. Anger was also a part of my depression (though not this time around, but all the previous years), but i think my anger was very much connected with my eating disorder rather than my depression as there were mood swings involved... but what helped me was to just go away and sit in silence or put on loud music and do breathing exercises. Anger is a strong emotion and it can make you do or say things which you wouldnt do or say otherwise, so its important to get a control over that emotion. But also note whether it is a serious issue which needs help or not... for me, i dont have anger issues but all the emotions and feelings of an eating disorder caused me to be angry at myself and at the world but it wasnt so much an "anger" issue which can lead to violence towards others... because if you ever feel that way, that you want to lash out at others then it is a whole other story which might need therapy to solve rather than just "home remedies".

Below are some Google links i found on coping with anger which might help. (The first part of the text isnt so interesting, skip down to the bulletpoints)

Hi Izzy! I have the same exact feeling, and I never know what to say to my boyfriend when I get in moods like this. I get irritated easily and he knows a little bit of my story, but I didn't tell him everything. How do you communicate with your boyfriend when you are "feeling low?" I almost broke up with him a few days ago for no good reason. Do you tell your boyfriend you need some alone time, or do you continue to talk to him?

When it comes to relationships "Do as i say, not as i do.", because in all honesty i can give good relationship advice but i am not that great a girlfriend or following my own advice.... what i personally do when i feel low is to just shut down. Not talk to either my family or my boyfriend, and as i have a long distance relationship that means that i dont really answer my phone or messages which basically is a pretty crappy thing to do. I dont really communicate either, but i think my boyfriend might read my blog sometimes so he knows when i dont feel so great as i write it here, and then he sends me a text telling me that he hopes that i feel better etc In my case,i  basically do the opposite of what you should do to have a good relationship but also to improve health.

At times when you are feeling low or anxious it helps to be on your own and have your own time, but it is also important to talk to others and spend time with others and let them make you feel better (i.e sometimes being on your own when you are already low can be the worst thing. But it is very individual, i personally feel better to just shut down for a little while and be on my own... but that isnt so great at keeping up with relationships). I would talk to your boyfriend... if possible, talk about your past. Trust me, it is important and helpful if they know about what you went through and maybe why you still do certain things/behave a certain way. And also communication.... if you dont want to tell him everything (though it can be good to do that), then atleast communicate and say that you need alone time so that he doesnt think it is something that he has done. But if he knows about your past or knows when you have anxiety or feel low, it will be easier for him to maybe help you or for him to know how to act. Remember, that he cant read your mind so he wont know what is going on in there unless you communicate and tell him and a strong relationship is one based on communication. With communication, i lack the right skills to communicate properly... something i should work on, but i would suggest talking to him... or talking over the phone if you dont live with him/see him everyday, or even just sending a text... though not a rash one that just says "i need a few days alone", as that will make him wonder what he has done wrong. I hope this helps a little, but do what is best for you and your health and well being, whether that is to have some alone time or realise that you feel best when you are with others, but you just need to get over that barrier and tell him about your past or even just tell him about how you can have periods where you are very low/anxious/need alone time.

These are just part 1 of some of the comments/questions i have missed, but part 2 should be coming up later today :)


  1. thank you so much, Izzy!
    and really hoping today turns out well for you and that you find some beauty and joy in it.
    thank you for your thoughtful, helpful, and generous replies here

    1. Thank you :) I hope you have a lovely weekend :) :)

  2. Wow, thaaaaanks a million Izzy!!! ;) This was so so helpful for me to read right now ;) I will definitively try out all of your suggestions and also the article you linked was so interesting to read ;)
    THANKS ;) and get well sooooooon ;)
    xxx Ange ;) <3

    1. I am glad I could help :) hope things are getting better for you :)