Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, April 26, 2016

My goals in May

It's soon a new month and first the first time in a few months i am going to set myself some goals for this month. I only really have 4 weeks left of my course (as i end the first week in June), and i can live in my apartment until the end of June... so i'll see how that goes. Or well, i have been told that i can live until the middle of August, but it all depends on economy. But i must admit, i am sad about the course ending and having to maybe move home again. I really dont want to. I want to keep being independant, i want to keep living away from home, but most of all i want to know about my autumn plans and where i will be. I can already feel that this will be an anxious summer where all i really do is long for the results from applying to university... pretty much a waiting and longing summer, but hopefully i can fill it with things to do so that  i dont waste two months just waiting for autumn and then realising that summer has gone and its either back to stressful studying, trying to find living, or jobless or maybe having a job... who knows. I have also been asked by my boyfriend to maybe move into his apartment during the summer if i move back home, but i dont know if i am ready for that either.... i guess i just have commitment issues and i am not ready for that. Mostly, i just want my very own apartment before i move in with a partner. I want to own my very own apartment and just live on my own before i commit fully and move in with someone else... so i'll see how all of that sort of plays out.

But onto my goals....

Facial care and hair care. These are always on my top 5 goals for the month, but it only lasts 2 days before i give up.... I am like people who want to lose weight fast, they want results within two days otherwise it isnt worth it. I want my skin to show results within two days and my hair to be soft and glowing and always straight.... that is not the case. And then i give up and realise that i workout so often and just sit and study mostly all day so it doesnt matter if i wear baggy clothes and my hair in a bun. But its not so much about appearance, but that nice hair and skin just makes you glow and feel better! For now i will stick to my "basic products" but eventually invest in some better!

Go for runs, walks or do outside training. I love the gym so much so even in summer i choose to go to the gym, and that is no problem for me. But fresh air is important, and sure i walk to the gym and get some cardio and fresh air that way... but going for walks or runs is therapeutic and whenever i do workouts outside i realise how much i love it.... but its always hard to find that balance of wanting to run, walk, go to the gym and do workouts outside and fit it all into one week when i want to do all 4 things everyday.... But also i get stuck into routine. I do need to change my workout routine, challenge myself and do different things and now is the perfect time to do some outside workouts.... just waiting for the sun so i can start wearing shorts!

Less caffeine, more sleep. My caffeine intake varies alot... somedays its one cup of coffee (i.e around 200mg), otherdays i can be up around 1g of caffeine or more....  No its not healthy or recommended. And i have a high tolerance for caffeine.  But as i feel alot more tired and allow myself to take naps as well as it being brighter i feel less need to drink coffee and more crave actual food for energy. Now when i want coffee (and i know i have already have maybe 1 or 2 cups) then in stead i fry some eggs or eat some raisins (or both!) and drink some green tea and that works for energy as well. And with sleep, well it varies... somedays i go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am, othertimes i go to sleep at 1am and wake up at 6am... but it might be good for me to work on trying to go to bed at a similar time as i am now making sure i wake up aroun 5-7am each morning so that is a regular thing and gets my body somewhat in balance!

Apply for jobs. At the moment i am so excited to apply for jobs, at first i thought i would just apply to food stores, but then i realised that i should and could apply to training stores so that is what i am going to do as well. I could try to work at a gym but i dont really feel like it... maybe the gym i workout at, but everyone who works there needs to be a qualified instructor and hold classes or be a PT, and i am neither so i dont have the qualifications to work there. But once i am in Stockholm i am going to print out my CV, write a few different personal letters for the differet stores and then go to the stores and apply for work... and hope that i get a job somewhere!!

A new tattoo. Joke, hahahahah... it feels like now a days people wouldnt even be surprised if i did one. I have no intentions to do a new one any time soon anyway.

Save up money and be economical. This month it is all about choosing the cheapest products and not so much buying "but it was a rough day, i need x, y and z food", haha. I dont buy myself clothes or anything unnecessary, but i am very good at buying myself different food which maybe doesnt fit my budget. So need to stop doing that this month. However i am very economical and know how to budget so i am not so worried, however at the end of May and during June and July the bills i going to start piling high as i have hopsital visits that cost me around €150 as well as having to pay the last month of my rent, new gym card membership, phone bills and if there is anything left that will go to actually being able to do something in summer. So this month i need to save. save. save.

These are just a few of my goals for May, and i am excited for the new month which will hopefully bring sunny weather!!! :)

Do you have any goals for the new month? :)


  1. I applied your desire to have your own place before moving in with a guy. I think totally independent living is a great experience that everyone should have at least once in their life. It let's you learn more about yourself, about your priorities, and how to stand on your own. The kind of self-confidence that comes from that is hard to duplicate! A good guy will understand that :). I hope you find the necessary financial stability to go ahead with it. It is way cheaper to live with someone else, but in my mind, the independent is worth the price of admission.

    1. Yeah, that's supposed to say applaud, "not applied". Typo!

  2. I think your goals are great! You know you don`t have to spend a fortune on skin care products - most of the expensive ones don`t do what they say they`re supposed to do anyway. Just a basic moisturiser cream and a cleansing bar will do the job just as well. Same with hair care products - a good diet is better than the most expensive shampoo/conditioners.
    I hope you manage to hang on to your apartment and find summer employment. I can understand you wanting to live independently rather than with your boyfriend or back home, once you`ve had a taste of leading your own life its hard to give that up.
    For me, May is going to be about getting my life back in some sort of order. I aim to get my recovery back on track and to stop sliding backwards. I am in rather a downward spiral at the moment which is not good.
    I have also decided against actually signing up for the study course I wanted to do. instead I have brought a couple of the set text books and am going to study them at my own pace. My health is so up and down at the moment that I thought it unwise to commit to the course properly. This way if it becomes too much I can stop with no problems. So really I guess its like starting a new interest/ hobby rather than a commited study course. I`m looking forward to it anyway.
    Above all I want to make May a good month, full of positives rather than negatives. I want to feel better in myself and for my health to improve, and for that to happen I know I need to make changes and somehow resume my mealplan. Quite how I`m going to achieve this I`m not entirely sure so I`m going to start with taking one day at a time.
    And I too can`t wait for the sunny weather! snow in April is ridiculous :(