Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, April 25, 2016

Monday tiredness and sadness, snow in April and cookie dough ice cream

Hello :)

Feels like my first update in a while as most of my posts have been scheduled recently, as well as not having much to write.

Yesterday (Sunday) was a long and tiring day where i was very much affected by the snow and coldness that once again arrived in Sweden. That made me feel tired and generally low on energy, on a positive note though my parents drove me back to  my apartment (a 60-90 minute drive) as they wanted to spend time with me, and they also got to see my "new" apartment (they havent seen the one i had to change and move into). As a thank you i made dinner for my family - bean pasta, quorn pieces and vegetables mixed with a chilli and paprika creme fraiche sauce - and then we played trivial pursuit (and i got lots of nutrition questions which i was surprised that i new the answer to!) before they drove back to Stockholm again. Despite have a mostly grey day yesterday my evening ended in a nice way and i felt content when i fell asleep. Though that didnt last until the morning... because when my alarm went off all i could think of was "no", so ended up sleeping past my alarm, waking up in a rush and getting ready, headed to the gym and worked out, headed to school where i seemed to still be in a sleep daze, then when my first lecture was done and i was almost falling asleep and knew i couldnt manage my last lecture. Instead i headed to the store, went food shopping for the week, got home and then fell asleep for 3 hours. Safe to say i was tired. Still feeling mentally very tired and this morning i was feeling really really sad for some unknown reason, but that has mostly passed now anyway.

This evening however its just me, some cookie dough ice cream and some cookies.... because thats what lifes about... sometimes you eat protein ice cream and regular chocolate filled cookies and other times you eat egg whites and oatmeal or ben and jerrys and carrots XD Its my first time trying this ice cream (Ive tried the applie pie flavour one) and they are super delicious, so far they are only sold in Sweden and only in certain stores but hopefully they expand and sell to more stores and maybe internationally because its delicious, and i am not even a fan of ice cream. I much rather choose chocolate or chocolate covered nuts, or even a fresh salad with salmon than ice cream... but i love to try new foods especially when it comes to things like chocolate, ice cream, cakes so i buy them to try them, hahaha. I also tried a new limited edition Orang Daim flavour, which tasted pretty good... a little too sweet, but i've tried it anyway!

Anyway, that is pretty much all i have to write today. The next few days it is full focus on studying so might not be so much update, especially if i dont have any creativity like right now... but i will try  my best to find something to write about :) 

I hope you have all had a great Monday :)
And remember, you dont ever need to justify eating cookies or eating cookies on a Monday.... or both cookies, ice cream and chocolate on a Monday XD


  1. Hi Izzy,

    Do you have any experience with PMS? I've recently gotten my period back in a regular pattern. I've got BPD also, and every month when i get my period I get really really bad nightmares and suicidal thoughts. Now I am trying to stop seeing my therapist as much and learn to manage independently, but I'm also doing my exams and today I just lost it in lesson and cried my heart out (it was very embarrassing) and had to come home. I don't know what to do, I don't know if it's a normal reaction or not to feel so impulsive and desperate just at times of period. Also, what would you do? I find it so hard to talk to other people about things as negative as death and thoughts etc because I'm seen as the positive optimistic one, or at least I try to seem like that. And i don't want to go to my therapist because I'm worried she's gonna think I'm not doing well... do you think I should just wait it out somehow? Sorry for the negative question, I'm just at the end of my tether a bit :(

    Thank you <3

    1. I have some sympathy with this! I guess I find it reassuring to remember that it may well be PMS, and it is always almost funny afterward that I felt so bad and that is the explanation!
      But -- I also think it is good to talk to people about such problems, including your therapist. People know that life and human beings are a mixture, there are good days and bad days, things we are good at and things we really struggle with. Everyone is part of that. If we try to ALWAYS be the positive one, then it can end up pushing us to extreme places that we can't handle. I think it is better to be open about the difficult bits; it doesn't take away anyone's respect for or trust in your positivity, and indeed it tends to enhance it. :)
      It sounds like you are doing really well overall, even with the really difficult patches?

  2. We`ve just had a smattering of snow too - crazy weather here in the UK at the moment - one minute it was bright sunshine, the next snow! (didn't last though and the suns out again)
    Hope you are feeling more on top of things today, I would say its pretty normal to feel a bit sad after a weekend away from your usual routine of study and having had the company of your boyfriend and family. its almost a case of back to reality, and that can give you quite a jolt.
    I`m really jealous of your food varieties in Sweden - why can`t we have icecream and flavoured chocolate like that! Definitely not fair :(
    Hope you enjoyed your icecream and had a good evening. Mondays are always tough after a good weekend - try and recapture that energy you felt for the week ahead and plan little treats for yourself when the days are done :)