Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, April 15, 2016

Focusing on happiness - my 4th tatttoo

Good morning :)

To start off, i think my stomach bug was actually food poisioning... which is why i started to feel better rather soon compared to a stomach bug where you can feel weak and tired and nauseous for 3-7 days, but i only felt stomach sick for no more than 48 hours and it hit me roughly 2 hours after eating food that i dont think had been cooled down properly or something like that. But i am feeling better now anyway, and might make more sense about why i actually left my house to do the next thing... if i was stomach sick i would not have.

For those of you who follow me on snapchat... you already know (people on snapchat usually know before my blog if i am honest!), but ....... i got another tattoo yesterday. I havent written about it on here because i wasnt actually planning on telling anyone, but my boyfriend and i were talking and had to admit what my plans were even if i wasnt planning on telling him, not that he would try to stop me, but because i feel that it is my body and it shouldnt matter to anyone else what i choose to put on it. I mean of course if i self harm and things then that is right for another person to care, but with tattoos.... nope, its not anyone elses business. I have thought about this tattoo for a while and the quote means alot to me, it is actually the quote i have in my description at the top of my blog: Dont let your sadness of your past or the fear of your future ruin your happiness of the present.

I have just washed and cleaned it, so my skin is still very red and the text is very vibrant, but that will of course eventually fade out to less dark.

That quote has alot to do with my depression and my anxiety. I need to learn to not worry so much about the future - or unnecessary stress, but also let go of the sadness ffrom the previous day (or from the past) and just focus on now... making the best of now and being happy. I need to focus on the present and happiness and i love this quote and now it is on my skin... so of course i have to love it, hahaha. I choose to do it on the other side of my ribcage because i thought it would look good but also i can hide it if i want to, but also it might show if i wear a bikini or such but i dont mind that. Of course this tattoo says alot more than just my freedom or dreamcatcher tattoo (or the just breath one... but that is also related to my cystic fibrosis as well as my depression and anxiety and has alot to do with my past suicidal attempts and wanting to give up on life.).. But this one really does say alot and i guess it can open up a conversation if someone reads it, but i dont mind.... I am not going to be scared about the fact that i have and do struggle with mental illness. Instead i am strong and fighting and am so much better and my depression isnt forever, at times it is worse but at times it goes away and i am truly happy.

My morning face but i feel so happy this morning!
And the past 6 months or more i have embraced my face with no make up!

So to summarize... so far i am super happy with my tattoo, though i have just taken off the plastic and havent even had it 24 hours, hahaha. I have a whole life time with it!!
I had a picture of how i wanted the tattoo, roughly... though it turned out a little bigger than i wanted... i wanted it to be smaller and be able to be hidden under my bra. But of course it was a long text and the style of the text was of a bigger kind, and the tattoo artist reminded me that in the future the tattoo would sort of spread out so if i did it too small it would eventually just be unreadable. So after a few moments of thought i thought it was a good style and i was happy with it. Though of course there were a few seconds of.... "should i wait or should i go for it", i mean you DONT want to be undecisive when you get a tattoo, but when the style of text and size had to change a little from my image then there were a few moments of undecesiveness, but once he put the tattoo "i.e the staple of the tattoo" on my body i saw that it looked good and it worked fine even if bigger than what i had thought!

But i feel that in the future i might add more along that side of my body such as birds or flowers, depends on how i feel! Anyway... so 4 tattoos in 4 years... hmm, i am starting to see a pattern. But i can say, they are addicting... and i have considered getting a "sleeve" as i think they look SOOOO good, both on guys and girls. But i dont think it would suit my body and i actually like have my shoulders and arms bare, but at the same time... i want one because they look so good. But i am still into the whole "have a meaning behind your tattoo" stage so that you wont regret it, but also... tattoos are expensive. I have saved up since January for this tattoo but also i recently just got paid so basically that payment was just plus/minus/zero, hahaha. But this was an expenditure i wanted to pay and of course i have planned for it, but it does of course mean that i dont really buy clothes or dont really do so much as i have rather saved up and used the extra cash i have had for my tattoo, and i am ok with that. I might not do much in summer, but that is ok... i dont need to travel or do things. Instead i just want to enjoy summer in Stockholm and hopefully work if i can!

Enough about this, i could write so much about tattoos because i love them and i can pretty much say this most likely wont be my last one... and i have said that regarding the previous 3 ones as well, its just about knowing where and what and having the money, but also not making the tattoos look "Messy" on my body. But so far, i am happy with the placement and how they look on my body!

I have yet to tell anyone in my family, but i guess if my sister reads my blog she will see it just like last time i did my dream catcher tattoo XD Tattoos are a choice i make for myself and of course always my own money and like mentioned above, it is my body so it shouldnt matter to anyone else. If it is something i ever regret, then its my own regret and wouldnt have mattered if someone tried to stop me.

Anyway, i have now also realised that i have all the "white girl tattoos"..... one on my neck, birds, "cheesy quotes" XD, a dream catcher and text on my ribs....So original it hurts Hhahahahah. I almost wanted to comment that to the guy who was my tattoo artist, but i figured that all of them working there just figured i was a blonde girl wanting "typical trend tattoos" XD hahah. I just laugh at myself because i didnt think about it until afterwards, but i still love them all, no matter how unoriginal they are!

Cant forget to show a picture of my very beloved dream catcher tattoo!!! For me it means, letting go of the negatives and negative dreams and instead catching and chasing the positives! (For many they have the opposite thought and think that dream catchers catch the negative dreams and keep them away... and then it would seem silly to have it tattooed on your skin, but its about positivitity and following my dreams - the positive ones!)

P.s when i look back on this post i realise it might be triggering to some, so i am sorry. I really hope that the body images/stomach images dont trigger you, and realise that everyone looks different. Self love, happiness and confidence, as well as health!!


  1. :)
    This makes me so happy -

  2. Both you and the tattoo look great. Can I ask what core workouts do you do and how often?

  3. So glad you are feeling better now and well enough to get your tattoo! I`m not a fan of tattoos but I can understand your reasons for having them and if they are meaningful to you and make you happy then why not?
    I think you are very brave - me, I couldn't stand the pain!

  4. I'm not a fan of tattoos but yours look great and I guess the important thing is that you like them.