Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Doing whats right even when it feels scary or wrong

Most people in their life have times when they are faced with doing what is right versus doing what they want to do. Sometimes doing what is "right" feels wrong or scary.

And this scenario/case often happens during recovery from an eating disorder. Because somewhere inside of you you know what is right, what is the right thing to do. But the right thing can feel so scary or so wrong and instead you want to or end up doing what you want to do instead, the easy option.

But sometimes you just have to think about the consequences.... for example, if you eat a meal and you get alot of anxiety and you want to purge. You know that the right option would be to not purge, but the so called "easy"/get rid of anxiety option which you eating disorder wants you to do, is to purge. And at first that action might relieve the anxiety but in the long term it will cause your teeth to erode, problems with your digestive system, constant heart burn among other things. And what would not purging lead to? In a few hours that panicked and anxiety feeling will be gone if you can distract yourself, the food eaten (no matter how much it was!), will nourish and give your body energy so that it can function. In the long term, if you dont purge up your food your metabolism will work properly and you wont feel the need to purge anymore.... whereas purging "just this one time" can lead to a constant purging and also mess up your metabolism a whole lot as well as other things in your body both short term and long term.

When you are faced with the option of what is right and what is easy.... think of the consequences. Sure, somethings can give you an instant relief or happiness, but in the long term how will it affect you? Maybe the right choice is hard at the time but in the long term will give you more happiness and peace? For example if you have a job which you really really hate and you feel awful going there, then maybe the right and hard option is to resign from the job and in the beginning it might be tough because you have no job but then you might find an even better job and realise that at first it was tough but in the long term it is so much better. Rather than the easy option, knowing that you would get a salary each month but hating what you do. (Of course, this is a very sensitive topic so its not exactly the same as telling someone to not purge, but i hope you understand the example and what i am trying to get across?)

Do what is right and try to think long term and consequences. Of course this isnt always easy... sometimes things that "seem right" arent, but then maybe you will learn from your mistakes. But i cn say that for me personally, i am someone who can be very rash and just do things without thinking. I mean yesterday i was planning to go dye my hair brown and get a new tattoo "just because".... and of course not tell anyone XD But then that little voice telling me that "this was a rash and unthought of action and i would most likely regret it tomorrow", and who knows... maybe i would, maybe i wouldnt. But there is a sensible voice inside of me who knows what is "right" and knows that yes... sometimes i would like to jus run out onto the street, or just go spontaneously colour my hair or go spend all my money on different things.. but that rational part inside of me reminds me of what is best for me in the long term and not just a spontaneous action (even if those spontaneous things can be awesome at times!!)

So..... even if things seem hard, it can be worth it. And dont let your eating disorder control you, you need to be stronger and do the things that are scary and tough because in the long term it will give you so much more happiness and joy rather than just the short term anxiety relief which eventually will get harder and harder to reach.


  1. Ah that inner voice that is there but not always listened to! You are so right, deep down we often know the right way but at times it is so hard to follow that lead.
    But stop and think about the consequences - that's a good tip and one i shall remember next time i`m at that mental crossroads.

  2. - Hi Izzy - how are you? I hope your appointment at the CF clinic went well for you and everything is ok (())

  3. I have a question i hope u dont mind me asking. Ive gained a lot of wgt in last few wks and its scaring me like hell & im contemplating reducing my diet. But the thing is im also hungry like all the time, starving even so i have to drink a lot to fill up. Ive been told to reduce my liquids by a lot but i dont know how to handle the hunger and i cant eat more cos ill put wgt on even faster. I dont know what to do or why its happening.