Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, April 2, 2016

Answers part 1 - food, workout, school advice

Good morning :)

Starting off the day with answering some of the questions from all the ones i recieved yesterday (and earlier). I didnt think i would get so many, so i'll work my way through as many as i can in maybe 3 posts spread out through this weekend.

This post i am just going to answer some of the "simpler" questions!!

Do you eat differently now when you buy your own food? 
Yes i do. I eat very very simple and often the same foods... i dont have the budget to buy extra "fancy" things, but also i buy things which i know my body tolerates. Because there are certain foods i like but my stomach doesnt tolerate, so then if i dont have them at home i wont eat them. Also i eat basic and simple made meals, no fancy foods like i would at home where i would have more ingredients or more space and time to make "fancier" dishes.

How do you workout and how often and long?
It varies so much. I go to the gym between 3-6times a week, and go for a walk or run 1-3 times a week. How long can vary from 30 minutes to 2 hours, depending on what i do. And what i workout.... anything from circuit to low reps and high weights to high weights and low reps. Can do trisets with little rest the whole workout or rest 1-2 minutes between each set, sometimes i focus on the "base" movements and other times its a whole bunch of cable exercises or lots of body weight exercises and sometimes i do my own WOD's.... So the answer to what workouts i do and how long varies each day depending on how much energy i have, how much time i have, what i want to do, whether i have training pain in certain muscle groups and what my focus is for the workout/general workout goal at the time. XD

what's the best way to deal with suicidal thoughts?
First of all ,i am so so sorry that you are struggling and dealing with suicidal thoughts. I know how awful it is, but the first thing is to talk to someone or call a hotline, or to write out your emotions or communicate to someone in some way. And to remind yourself that things can get better tomorrow. When you are deep in those thoughts and you feel like there is no way out, you need some sort of distraction... something to get you out of those thoughts. For me personally, sometimes i just have to force myself to take a 2 hour shower to let those thoughts pass, or to sit and write or draw and listen to really loud music. Anything to keep me from doing something which could be unreversable. 
 You need to remember that those strong feelings and emotions, they WILL pass. When you are caught up in them they feel overwhelming and far too much, but they will pass. You need to fight through those thoughts and promise yourself or someone else to not do anything stupid. Tell yourself to wait an hour, and after that wait another hour and another hour after that... keep yourself distracted. You dont necessarily have to try to think positive or try to fake happiness, but instead think of something else. Try to be around others or maybe cuddle a pet or animal if you can? Or if you have a favourite album or artist to listen to or a favourite tv show or film, something which can make you feel a little better, or something which makes you feel less lonely. But most of all, NO self harm, no alcohol, no drugs... nothing that can harm yourself, instead use "Better" options such as drawing on your skin, or putting ice on your skin/holding ice, ripping paper, popping bubble wrap. Dont do anything rash, if the feelings are overwhelming or too much.... send someone a text, call someone or talk to someone. And know that things can get better, even if doesnt feel that way at the time.

often in you food pics you have a bowl of nuts, candy etc, or 3 whole chocolate bars. Do you finish the whole bowl at once or do you just take a couple of pieces at once?

The whole chocolate bar or whole bowl of nuts is mostly there for the sake of the picture! XD Sometimes i eat the whole thing i.e sometimes i eat a whole 100g chocolate bar and sometimes i finish the whole bowl of nuts (if its a small bowl such as the heart shaped one or small white one, i will most likely finish the whole thing. If its the pink bowl or a bigger bowl, i wont finish it all at once anyway... usually i save for the next day aswell). Ive written before that the picture of my food doesnt save everything, at times i add more or eat more afterwards and other times i cant even manage to finish everything... (that doesnt happen often!)

What I would like to ask if you could recommend an alternative non dairy milk that goes well in tea and can also be drunk warm? 

When it comes to adding in teas i often find that the non dairy milk ones dont go so well, unless its oat ones that are specifically made for tea/coffee use. You said you had tried soya, oat and hazelnut. You could always try cashew and almond milk (both rather expenseive) but i really like almond milk (vanilla is delicious as warm) and i think it works ok in coffee/tea, coconut milk is ok... though not good warmed or in tea/coffee. According to the picture there is rice milk as well, though i have never tried that so i dont know if it is good or not.

 But i would give almond or cashew milk a try. .If anyone else has any advice comment below :) (Also i have seen recipes for home made almond milk which isnt supposed to be so hard and then you can add your own sugar and vanilla and such!) Also hazelnut milk is delicious according to me!

What exactly is a fear food? How does a food become one and why?

A fear food is a food which a person wont eat out of fear. For example when i began to think more about food and calories i stopped eating many foods out of fear, and when people asked me why i wasnt eating them i said i didnt like them, when just a few weeks previous i would have eaten them. And i did like those foods, but the fear of the calories/carbs/fat/sugar kept me from eating them. So fear foods develop from a fear of the food and that is the reason keeping you from eating them.
 For example now with digestion problems there are foods i cant eat, but i like them and will still eat them at times... but the reason i dont eat them so often isnt out of fear, but out of digestion issues arising from eating that food.

A person can lie about fear foods i.e say that they dont like the food, and for some that is the actual reason... but the person themselves will often know the reason why they wont eat a food and it is about being honest with yourself and knowing why or why you dont eat a food.

What are the protein puddings you have? I have always wondered what they were exactly, 
Well.... they're a sort of pudding with 20g protein. I havent checked the ingredient list but im guessing its some sort of protein powder and lactose/dairy. I like them alot, hahah, but they are a sort of hit or miss as they are "jelly like". Its a swedish company that makes them so i dont think they are available in other countries.

also raw food balls - what are they made of? 
They can be made in many different ways, but often the base is dates and some form of nut or seed and then you can add things like cacao, sweetner, sugar, coconut etc My favourite are pistachio and vanilla raw food balls or just plain ones made with dates, cashews, cacao and coconut oil rolled in coconut shreds!

Link to some recipes: (If you dont want to sign up just click in the lower right corner)

And when you say in your posts sometimes that you had natural sweets - what are they?

I think it was in older posts i wrote that.... unless i still write it, who knows? But in Sweden its called "naturgodis" so basically a direct translation is natural sweets.... they arent so natural though XD Basically nuts covered in chocolate or yoghurt/white chocolate, or things such as dried fruit or dried berries covered in chocolate etc These are my absaloute favourite and could never give them up!

What's your best advice for starting a new school?

Talk to people!! This is the problem i have always had each time i start a new school,  Ii dont really talk to people and then i end up with no friends. So be social, say hello and try to get to know people. Focus on your school work and dont be scared to ask for help. I dont know whether you are starting a new school at the same time as others start a new school or if you are jumping right into a class in the middle of the term, also dont know how old you are i.e whether its high school or university. But know that its ok to be new and even if it can feel scary and different you will soon get settled in. 

A post about maing friends/socializing

This was part one, so hopefully some of you got some answers :) And part 2 and 3 and maybe 4 coming later/tomorrow :)

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