Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Veganism - answer post

I thought i had published this post, but when i was looking through my drafts i realised it was still sitting there unpiblished even if i had written everything. So i am so sorry for the late reply!!

3 parts of the question.

I would be interested in a Q&A post, or a post about Veganism, becausea I always try to start it, but I am never success. I feel lost. Veganism helped a lot of people with eating disorders but it doesnt work for me if i go to school. (If I am at home I am okay with that) But I am always feeling sick, weak, headache every day, and a lot of times I am binging. I feel myself completaly terrible. But in th other hand, I can agree with the vegans and veganism and Freelee, but I dont know what am I doing wrong. I am eating exatly the same calories as before going vegan, and I am eating a lot of carbs as Freelee said, I dont know what to do.
I am waiting for others answers to if they can help me.

I think veganism can be great, however it doesnt work for everyone. Your body needs more than just carbs and fruit, it does need fat and protein as well. When you eat alot of fruit your body doesnt get so much variation of food, but also there is alot of fiber which will leave you bloated and feeling gassy. But also you may be lacking in vitamins and other nutrients such as iron, B12 and other vitamins and minerals if you are eating only certain foods. If you are binging, that is often a sign of food deprivation.... either that you have set up too many rules of what you can and cant eat, so your body just wants all the foods you cant eat as they are "off limits". But also you might not be eating enough, as well as lacking vitamins and minerals and macronutrients which causes your body to scream off lots of different food and you end up binging.

I dont know how good Freelee is as a role model. I mean sure if she wants to spread the message of veganism, thats great. But she doesnt do it in the best way... instead she fat shames people and shames and tries to guilt and use "Pressure" on people to change. But also she tells people to eat an unlimited amount of fruit all day and all they should eat is fruit (of course i guess she tells them to eat other vegan foods as well...). I think one of her tips was to eat 30 bananas a day.... But veganism isnt some sort of weightloss diet, veganism is about a whole lifestyle change. Plant based diet is what you follow if you want to eat more plant based, but being a vegan is also about not using any products tested on animals, no having anything that has animal skin or fur etc  I think many can look on veganism and think "wow i want to be skinny, ill just eat vegetables and fruit"... but it isnt sustainable for everyone, especially not if it is just a quick diet to lose weight. But also it can be far too restrictive for people if they dont know what types of food. If a person can eat balanced, get all the macronutrients and feel energized and happy while eating plant based/raw etc then thats fine, but it also means you need to find out how your body works and not restrict and deprive yourself.

Below are some other posts about veganism/freelee/rawtill4

My other problem is that i dont know what to eat as a vegan. I am living in Hungary, what is not a rich country, and we dont have vegan or other healthy products, or just a few one, but anyways, we dont have enough options, or at least less then the american/australian, etc. vegans.And I tried to find recipes on the internet, but I havent found any recipes that contains the ingredients what we have at home/ at the grocery shop. Or these ingredients are too expensive for my wallett. (e.g.: Agave, Maple syrup or something)
So anyways, a vegan/vegetarian recipe post would be helpful.

Being a vegan doesnt have to be expensive, and actually eating vegetarian/vegan a few days a week can be beneficial for everyone. Both for health and economic reasons. You definitely dont need all the fancy stuff like coconut sugar, green spirulina, maca powder, goji berries etc instead simple ingredients like: Chickpeas, blackbeans, soya beans, vegetables, potatoe, sweet potatoe, brocolli, chia seeds or flaxseeds, tofu, quorn, lentils, oatmeal, granola, cereal, almond milk (or other vegan type of milks), nuts, seeds, fruit, dried fruit etc etc

You can make things like soup, chicpea burgers, chickpea pancakes, cauliflower pizza, oatmeal, oatmeal pancakes, oatmeal bread, toast using vegan bread, lentil soup, roast vegetables

I have two posts below with vegan/vegetarian lunch ideas (you can then google recipes)

And the reason why I mainly want to be vegan is that I want to eat ALOT! I have a medium metabolism (I can eat about 2200 cals a day, and I am a fourteen year old teenage girl, and I am doing sports 3-5 times a week) and I just want to be that girl, who can eat as much as she can, but doesnt gain any weight. 
(Sidenote: I went to a dietetican doctor a few weeks ago, and he said I need rougly 1600-1800 cals a day if I dont do any sports. And I got shocked. It would be restriction for me, and I try to eat at least 2000 cals on every day, if I am not doing any sports. And If I do, I eat 2100-2300. Or what do you think? Could/Should I eat more than this?)

This mindset, of going vegan to eat alot just doesnt sound so healthy. Eating 2200 kcal a day is actually quite a normal metabolism, and as you are growing and doing sports so often i am pretty sure you can eat more. The dietician can just calculate according to weight and height and that gives a BMR, like my BMR is 1400 kcal a day, but my TDEE is around 2700, but i eat around 2500-3000 a day and still maintain. But i am aware that i do have a "fast" metabolism. But you have to remember that you are young and growing!!! You're most likely going - or going to - go through puberty which means that your body can change shape, you might feel tired, feel more hungry, lots of hormones in your body and then just eating fruit or vegetables isnt enough!! That doesnt mean that you have to eat meat and fish everyday, but you need to eat things like bread, pasta, rice, nuts, avocados, lentils and chickpeas among other foods(for protein) and then of course you can always eat dairy or meat (if not eating plant based).

Dont go vegan just so that you can eat "more", go vegan if that is the lifestyle you want to live and if it works for you. I know online you can read about lots of people recovering with veganism but sometimes veganism is just another way to restrict and control food intake without it being a "sick thing". You are young and growing so i wouldnt restrict any food from your diet, just eat everything in moderation and allow your body to grow and change as that is what can happen during puberty. Try to listen to your bodies signals and eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. I think that if you eat more balanced and eat from all the macronutrients (carbs, protein, fat) then the binges might stop and you will get rid of the "cant eat certain food" mentality which can cause binging.

Dont put up restrictions... you have your whole life to go vegan if that is what you want. But for now, focus on finding balance with food and your body.


  1. No, no to Freelee! That girl is a nut! She is thin, pretty, and bubbly - but her claims are ridiculous, dangerous, and not based in scientific fact. She talks a good talk, I was interested when I first saw her stuff, too. But she's a wingnut. She has a history of being mean. She has her own thread on GOMI that does a good job of pointing out her crazy. No one needs that kind of extreme diet. There is nothing "freeing" about her diet. Its just another crappy diet that is unsustainable for most people. Back away slowly....

    1. I agree 100% ;) I don't think her way of promoting veganism is so great and personally feel that she does more negative than good. And she follows an extreme diet (or that is what I have gathered from her videos) and she thinks that that way of eating is possible for everyone. As well as eating just fruit will make people stop binging... which I don't believe is the case; maybe for a few, but definitely not everyone. I think there are better began role models to follow!

    2. However I don't feel like saying mean things about freelee as that is pretty much going down on her level and bashing people and their diet choices.

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  3. Thank you for this post!
    Just last week I wrote about my own experience with veganism and anorexia (sorry if that sounds like self-promotion) but it got me thinking about the topic.
    I became vegan temporarily for ethical reasons, although the health benefits were also a motivating factor. However, I just wasn't able to keep up with eating enough to continue weight gain while in recovery.

    I think when I'm at a normal weight with a healthy emotional state, I'd like to give it a go again, but there's nothing ethical about hurting myself...

  4. It's the most natural way to eat, corn, pastas, beans and rice will keep you going in your sports better than dairy and processed foods ever will. That's why people now are so lazy and tired, their modern food is not natural and it leaves them tired. Being a vegan is not restriction, in fact vegans get more nutrients because they eat a wider variety of vegetables, nuts, seeds and grains than the average person. A meat eater will make meat the centre of their meal (low nutrition) but a vegan will use herbs, spices and vegetables to create flavour, and those things have minerals that will make your skin glow and your stamina out of this world.
    Before I went vegan I was slow, tired and lazy most of the time. Now my energy levels are consistently high, everyday I can run further. Just take a look at the Tarahumara Native American people, they eat corn, avocados and they are some of the best athletes in the world.
    The best thing you can do is show these people who say veganism is "restriction". Be proud of your choice and show them what a star athlete you can be on plant based food. Keep your weight up with nuts and smoothies, easy. You will be running at the crack of dawn everyday while others are lying lethargic in bed, I promise!