Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Let's talk about sugar and carbs

Carbohydrates and sugar have a bad rep and something which people believe they should avoid. Or it is the other way and people believe that carbs and glucose is ok but fat is the one to fear. But in this post i am just talking about carbohydrates and sugar.

What i write is directed mostly to those maintaining weight and trying to balance food. For those of you trying to gain weight and also struggling with fear foods, the recommendations are different. I.e you can eat more sugar and more carbs, but it might still be helpful to read what i have to write. But just know that the recommendations for maintaining/normal people isnt the same for those in recovery/needing to gain weight.

Carbs are important however the truth is that you can survive without them... out of the macronutrients, carbohydrates are the ones that your body can survive without because the body can break down aminoacids and muscle to create glucose for the brain and cell and even ketones from lipids (fat) can be used for energy, of course that doesnt come without consequences. Because if the body starts breaking down muscle for glucose then you wont be feeling so strong and it can go so far that the body starts breaking down the heart muscle for glucose. The brain needs about 100-140g glucose each day just to function, and then the cells need glucose as well, so if they dont get the glucose from food they will find the glucose in otherways.

Carbohydrates are the easiest source of energy for the body, so if you want quick energy carbohydrates are the way to go!

And the fear that carbohydrates will make you fat, that is not true. What makes a person go up in weight is eating more than their body needs each day. And how much energy a person needs each day is based on many different things such as lifestyle, genetics, hormones, weight, body proportions etc

So thinking that carbohydrates will make you fat is not the case. I mean if you just eat rice or just eat bananas but eat less than your body needs each day then you will lose weight even if you just eat rice or bananas. Or for example if your only intake was 1200kcal worth of cola, then you could lose weight. But eating isnt just about calories, infact eating is more about getting the right nutrients into us, so just eating one type of food or eating a huge amount of one macronutrient isnt going to be so beneficial. What is most beneficial is to eat a balance of the macronutrients and get the right mirconutrients as well i.e all your vitamins and minerals.

Eating carbohydrates will give you energy but also your body gets glucose for your brain and cells as well as getting minerals and vitamins. The recommendation for carbs is usually between 40-60% of your daily intake. Though of course that can still vary for the individual but eating that amount is usually the best. So dont be scared of eating carbohydrates because your body needs it!! And think, when you exercise your body needs glucose so that you have energy but also when you study... you might have noticed that when you eat a low carb meal you arent as focused... that is because your brain needs enough glucose for all that studying!! I often find that if i have lots of studying to do ill eat some chocolate and that is a great source of energy and helps me to focus.

Which brings me to sugar.... the dreaded white stuff which everyone seems to fear. But sugar isnt necessarily bad, in the right amount. The problem with sugar now a days is that people get too much, as they arent aware that sugar is added to so many products. So without actually eating something we know contains alot of sugar, most people have already consumed the recommended amount of sugar. But you know what... if you eat a balanced intake and eat nourishing foods with complex carbs and lean protein and healthy fats, then you can eat some chocolate, cake, ice cream etc now and again. Either you can do a "little everyday" (thats how i do it usually, a little chocolate 5 days a week XD) or do a whole lot like a pint of ben and jerrys during the weekend.

The thing about sugar is that it turns to energy quite quickly in the body and is broken down to fructose or glucose in the liver and then used as energy, and that at times can be very useful. Such as when exercising, but also eating foods with a high sugar content/energy content can be good for those who struggle to get enough energy. Such as when i was younger my snacks consisted of digestive biscuits, nutella and cream as well as drinking full fat milk mixed with a 600kcal milkshake powder thing. And this was because i had such a high energy need and i couldnt get it by eating nuts or bread or other food. I needed high calorie and high sugary food. And that was what was recommended to me by my dietician in the CF clinic, so even if it wasnt so nutriously dence i needed that type of food so that i wouldnt be very underweight. But even eating those types of food i was still underweight.

So sugar isnt necessarily bad, its how much of it you consume. If someone has a sugar intake of 40-50% of their daily intake, then it can of course cause problems because the body wont be getting any nutrients or vitamins. I think we can all agree on that protein, fat and carbohydrates will give the body nutrients and vitamins which are essential each day, while sugar doesnt contribute to much apart from the energy factor. But like mentioned, sugary foods in the right amount can still be part of a healthy diet. Its also important that for a healthy lifestyle, a healthy mind set is important as well. So if you fear sugar like the devil, then you might not have such a healthy mindset.... because it is one thing to be aware of the amount of sugar you consume on a daily/weekly basis, but to feel absaloutly awful and feel like everything is ruined because you ate something with sugar... those are two complete different things.

I mean i am roughly aware of the amount of sugar i consume, but i know i dont consume too much... i consume what is healthy for my body and mind. I dont cry just because i might eat more sugar rich foods one week, instead i move on and will be aware that i ate "more" than necessary or usual, but that it doesnt mean so much as it is not an everyday or weekly thing.

So to summarize, you can still eat sugary foods as a part of a healthy diet and even if you want to maintain. Its about the total calorie intake that affects weight gain, but also about the distribution of the macronutrients. If you are eating too much sugary foods that means that less vitamins and minerals and less of the other macronutrients will be eaten and that can cause problems!!

And last but not least, dont forget your fiber each day!!! Important for a healthy stomach and healthy gut bacteria :) And also can recommend taking probiotic tablets to help the bacteria in your large intestine :)

Anyway, i know this was a long post but i just wanted to share some facts. Remind you that carbs arent the enemy and sugar isnt the devil. Everything in moderation and what YOUR body feels best from. I cant sit here and tell you all that you have to eat 50% carbs because that is not the case, some people feel best eating 30% carbs, others eating 60% carbs. Some feel best eating a little dessert everyday, others prefer to just eat sweet things during the weekend or every second week or so, and it is about finding what works best for you!!!

I hope this helps and if you have any questions feel free to ask :)


  1. I don't need an answer to this so please, please don't worry if you don't have time, but I was just reading about "night eating syndrome", which seems now to have been declared a disorder of its own. And I wondered if you had any reflections on it. I know that night eating is associated with lots of different eating disorders, but - with some of these disorders, surely one has to prioritise which problems are worth fighting and how? And given that night eating can be important in some circumstances, one needs to be careful about when one starts worrying about it as a disorder? I don't *need* an answer to this, it was just interest really.

    1. Ive written about this in a post now :)

    2. Thank you so much! I've just read it -- it is reassuring and helpful! It is really sweet of you - thank you.

  2. Hey! I really love your blog, it's very helpful and I would reallyreally appreciate if you would like to give some advice to me...

    I had anorexia but my way to recover was not good since I binged myself up to a normal weight which was much higher than my pre-ed weight and I really did not feel comfortable at all. Suddenly I was "recovered" but defiently not recovered so I tried to find a balance but started to lose weight again and it has gone slow but now I've lost totally 12 kgs and are on the limit to underweight but still normalweight so I wanna stay here. All I really want is to find a balance, not eating to much or to little. I've tried doing this for a year now but it's like I don't know my bodys signals at all. I mean if they were true I would not keep losing weight. And I'm not overactive or anyting, I work out 5 days a week normally. I try not to count calories but think I eat around 2200 calories and some day a week (sometimes days) I overeat and eat around 3000 or more so I'm not starving myself either. I'm actually eating more then the most persons I know. But still it feels like I don't know how to recover from here.

    I don't wanna go up in weight and I don't wanna loose weight. Just wanna stay here and have a body that I can trust. Evreytime I try iniutive eating I think i'm eating too much and eat till I get stuffed since I don't know my fullness before the stuff feeling... And then I'm hungry instead. It's really wierd... And I'm thinking that if I only eat til i'm stuff I'm gonna gain weigh and keep gaining and gaining...

    I'm so confused what to do.

    1. I am so sorry about your struggles. I am going to reply to you once i get the chance, either here in the comments or in a post. If i dont do it within a day or two just remind me please :)

    2. Hey thank you soo much! I really appreciate this so you know. Could you link me the answer? Can't find it :)

    3. Ohh I'm so sorry I haven't answered yet :/

    4. I'll answer here :

      First off I think you should forget your weight. Try to not focus on a number or what you think you should weigh. Being on the verge of underweight isn't always healthy and especially not if you have had an eating disorder. Then the body usually functions best at a BMI of 19-22 . I would try to follow a meal plan and maybe eat around 2500. But of course I don't know your body or lifestyle so I can't tell you how much or what you should eat, but if you are working out 5 days a week that is still a lot of exercise. And then you are making sure that your body gets eniugh energy... I don't know what type of workout you do, but for example if you run an hour during your workout and just eat 2200 then your net intake might be around 1400 which is far too little and can cause the binges because your body hasn't been getting enough energy. But if you eat around 2500-2800 and run an hour then your NET intake would be around 2000 and your body would most likely not be so hungry. But also if you don't have the right signals then following a meal plan with eniugh calories is important because rhe you follow that for a few weeks and adapt if necessary. .. for example begin with 6 meals a day but then after a few weeks you realise you would prefer to eat 4 bigger meals, then change to that but not cutting out calories unless you have gained lots of weight. But try to not weigh yourself and instead follow a meal plan, allow your body to adjust. And don't binge or purge, instead try to eat regular meals and eventually your hunger and fullness should adapt to that. I hope this helps somewhat, but trying to find a balance is important and sometimes you jump into intuitive eating too quickly and you can't trust your body so then you end up over eating or under eating. So following some type of plan is helpful.

  3. Would you mind writing a post on fats & what to eat to starve off hunger thks

  4. Sugary and starchy foods are the highest in vitamins and minerals, eg. fruits, vegetables, potatoes etc. Chocolate, cakes, ice-cream etc don't have a very high sugar content, they are very high in fat. As you probably know, fat increases insulin resistance so sugars are harder to break down and are stored as fat in adipose tissue instead. Those foods are fatty not sugary :) You can eat all the carbs you want, have you seen a person who eats high carb obese? And 3500kcal of any excess carbs, though it is nearly impossible to eat too many, can be stored as glycogen (which is invisible!). No-one fear carbs ;)