Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Lack of school motivation

Hello :)

My current state is unmotivated. For everything.... school, study, making food, using social media... i dont even feel like watching series or films, i just sort of feel tired and exhausted. But at the same time i have all this energy inside of me. If there is one thing i am still motivated for that is the gym and my runs/walks. Exercise really is therapy, a calming place... a place to "just be" and to feel happy, to feel energetic and just feel good. The thing i cherish most at the moment is definitely my one hour at the gym or my morning walks/runs, they give me a peace of mind and a break from the tiredness and stress.

But anyway, as mentioned at the moment i feel so unmotivated for school and school work. It is interesting and i like learning all the new facts, but at the same time i just want a break as well, or not have the pressure of "You need to know all of this because you will be tested on it". Though i know that i am not alone with the lack of motivation, it feels like many others in my class and even my room mate all seem a little unmotivated. Tired of school and all the work. Though i think it also has to do with the weather change and how most people are just waiting for spring to arrive, and for it to get brighter. So i think that affects many as well and just leads to a sort of waiting and longing for "better times".

Right now i am just sort of "being" and doing what i can. Studying and getting as much work done as possible, going to my lectures despite not wanting to, and trying to keep my  irritation for everyone and everything at bay, hahaha. I also have things to  look forward to which is helpful, keeps me motivated.

I cant wait to head home on Friday and see my dog and spend time with my friends, and also longing for next week when i only have one lecture and then it is 4 free days of studying before celebrating Easter and then back to study. I am looking forward to spending time with my family as well hopefully, maybe eat a family dinner.... where i dont have to cook the food, haha.

Small things to look forward to are definitely helpful when there is a lack of motivation for life in general. When things just seem a little grey and dull and you feel tired, but at the same time there is energy... but energy for other things that your current routine and habits!!

Anyway, now i need to get ready for school and mentally prepare myself!

I hope you all have a great day and make this week great!!! If you are struggling, know that things can get better, you just have to keep going!

Picture has nothing to do with the text but i mean.... im feeling the same way as Daisy about those donuts ;)


  1. ...well I say go and treat yourself and buy some doughnuts!
    Its a tough time of year, the weather is gradually changing for the better and theres the promise of a break from routine at Easter, no wonder its hard staying on track with the day to day stuff that has to be got through. I feel what you are feeling somedays - and its such a struggle to put one foot infront the other to get on with stuff that has to be done. But remember that now is just one day and tomorrow is one step closer to your time off and free time.
    I try to look forward to what I have planned a give myself a treat at the end of the day, its something close to look forward to and works for me.
    Hope your day goes ok - remember that's one day closer to Easter Eggs!

    1. Well I don't actually have any free time during easter, I still have lots of study but I'm going to try ti get the majority done before the easter weekend so I can atleast have somewhat of a break. But my only real break will be when the course is over in May/June.
      That goal is a great one ;) having small things to look forward to!!

      We don't actually have eater eggs in Sweden! Instead it's just chocolate and candy. .. but not all those commercial easter eggs found in Ireland and England!

    2. No Easter Eggs?? I really didn't know that - I find that really strange! Do you have hot cross buns?
      I`m sorry to hear you don`t get a proper break over Easter, here the schools and colleges close for at least a week - yet another difference I wasn't aware of. I hope you manage to find some free time though :)

    3. We do have lots of easter eggs in Sweden, haha???? :)

  2. First sorry for my english.I hope you understand �� I've had eating disorder about 5 years (calorie restricting, starving and bingeing) and I've been variously depressed 8 years. During those 5 years i got sicker and the first disease was celiac disease which is why i had to start a gluten free diet for life. The second one was a really bad reflux disease which is why I had to cut dairy, spicy- and fatty foods and coffee etc. My diet is very limited and it makes me feel so anxious specially when leaving for a trip. If I eat bad foods like chocolate or paprika, I get those awful symptoms like air hunger and burn in my chest. I have meds but those aren't always working. I have noticed that I've started avoiding going to places and meet friends because of the symptoms and limited diet. If you have any advice, I hope you could tell (:

    1. I know how tough it is to have certain foods you can't eat and getting pain when you do eat those foods. But that doesn't mean that you can't go to social events. If there will be nothing at the place that you can eat, then bring something with you. Or make something big that you can eat but others can have some as well (such as if you are going to a dinner party or friends place ). And know that it is ok to ask for certain requirements when going out to eat. You can tell the waiter that you have certain food allergies or intolerance and they should be able to adapt to that. But of course maybe going to some restaurant where there will only be spicy and oily food, then maybe there is no point going if there will be nothing you can eat. But don't let your food intolerance stop you. Instead find a way to cope and live with them. Bring food with you so that you can eat in case and if people ask then tell them about your intolerance. It is important to meet friends and do different things, so don't let food stop you from doing that.