Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Decide to own your day and not let the day control you

It's funny how quickly emotions and humor can change. From one day loving the freedom of being an adult, loving life and feeling great... to the next day wanting life to be over, wanting to curl into a ball and refuse to do anything. Not wanting to be an adult or have to face life.

In all honesty, i was one big negative mess yesterday and Sunday as well for that matter. Just everything felt wrong and awful, i dont really know what i felt or why... but i just know that i felt awful and life didnt feel so great. It is most probably due to stress, i do have alot going on right now as well as things that have happened in my personal life and thoughts in my mind which i have chosen to not write publicly, but they all weigh heavy on me, and i think i just reached a "its all too much" point. And those feelings and emotions were still heavy on my shoulders this morning. I didnt want to get out of bed, i didnt want to go for a walk, i didnt want to go to the gym, i didnt want to study... i wanted the day to be over before it had even started... but most of all, i just wanted everything to be over.  To wake up with those negative thoughts and feelings, where you have barely been awake two minutes and you dont want to face another day... it can be tough to change those thoughts and to make the day better. But i knew that i would not feel better if i just sat inside all day on my own and felt those negative thoughts. Instead, i headed out to go for a walk.... the first thoughts were "i dont want to... i want to go back home and refuse to do anything", but after 10 minutes i began to feel a little better. Began to think a little clearer, more rationally. Tried to change my thoughts... what was i feeling and why and what could i do about it. And so during my walk i tried changing my thoughts and by the time i was home again i was feeling better, not completely free from those negative and heavy emotions and thoughts, but at least i have decided to control the day rather than let the day control me. I have decided to make the day good or atleast see some positives in the day even if the start of my day wasnt so great.

A good tip when you are stuck in a bubble of negative emotions.... try to distract yourself and break free from that bubble, otherwise those thougts will just spin round and round and you will just feel worse. Instead... do something, talk to someone or go somewhere else. It isnt always easy, but it can definitely help and keep you from doing something you might regret. Breaking out from the negative bubble and trying to change thoughts is what will help you both in the short and long term!!

So.... lets make this day a good one, because even if the day started badly, it can still be changed and end positively, and most of all.... dont let the emotions from yesterday carry on to the next day. Instead, try to start each day fresh and not hold onto the past or how you felt the previous day(s)!




2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you have so much to carry at the moment, Izzy. Thank you for this post -- it is inspiring.

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  2. When I was going through the darkest days of my depression at the beginning the first thing my psychiatric nurse taught me was distraction techniques. It didn't matter what I did as long as it distracted my thoughts away from the dark thoughts and feelings I was having. At first I thought she was odd when she told me to hoover the house, polish the furniture - I couldn't see how this could possibly help me when my emotions were all over the place and all I really wanted to do (and often did) was cry. But you know it worked. It took effort to make myself do something but the more I did the better I felt. Distraction when you are having dark thoughts is key.
    From this we moved onto cognitive behavioural therapy where I had to write down what I was feeling then decide what the negative and positive outcome of these thoughts would be. Again it felt strange doing it but it worked as it made me see things clearer and for what they really were - which in reality was no where near as bad as the thoughts I was having.
    So what you are doing Izzy is good and its so good to read that you are strong enough (on your own too!) to make yourself make that effort to do something to change how you are feeling. But please be aware too that depression can suddenly spiral out of your control and you really need professional help to deal with it. Don`t ignore the warning signs that your moods are changing, at any time you start to feel overwhelmed please seek help. Depression is a horrible illness but you don`t have to suffer alone, and its important to seek help before it gets too bad.

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