Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Days when you feel uncomfortable in your body

There are some days where, for some unknown reason, i can feel really uncomfortable in my body. And not in the sense of being bloated, as that can often leave someone feeling uncomfortable and like they are 3 sizes bigger than what they actually are. And it is not "self hate" either, just an uncomfortable feeling... like you arent quite in touch with your body. It is most likely something to do with hormones, feeling clumsier and out of tune with your body.

That was how i felt today. And it is hard to explain because it is like an uncomfortable feeling when you sit down and when you move or do things you just sort of feel out of tune. Maybe it is just me, but i am pretty sure i amn't alnoe with having these weird days.

But you know what... the best thing to do is to throw on a huge jumper and some comfortable clothes. Take a walk, drink some tea and then just detach your thoughts from your body. Because the more you think about it, or the more you allow those uncomfortable thoughts to control you and weave their way through your thoughts, the worse you will feel.

The best thing for me when i have these weird body days (which dont happen so often) is to wear these pants which i can basically drag up over my stomach... imagine pants for pregnant women ;) and then a  huge jumper - with of course a comfortable sports bra under! And then i focused on my studies (which i did from 12-8pm with a few pauses here and there for food/social media break/needed to drink coffee and close my eyes for 10 minutes before feeling energized again).

Getting my thoughts away from the uncomfortable feeling is what will make you feel better. Just resting and doing other stuff or spending time with others can be helpful.

But most importantly... know that it isnt your body. It is just thoughts and a weird feeling you have. Such as when you have "fat" feelings, remember... fat is NOT a feeling. You cant feel it... it is something else which then makes you feel bigger, but you cant feel fat.... it is some type of emotion or thoughts behind that "feeling". It is hard to explain, but just remember that.... fat/skinny, they are descriptions and not feelings. So it can also be good to get to the root of what you are actually feeling. For example sometimes when people are stressed or anxious they can feel "fat" but the problem is the anxiety or stress, not the persons body. So just a little pro tip!!!

Also remember, that all feelings pass!! And even if you feel out of tune with your body or feel uncomfortable with your body, dont skip meals!! Keep eating your meals and drinking water, because skipping meals wont help with anything and feeling hungry wont help anything either!!

It is good to be in touch with your body such as tiredness, hunger, fullness, energy... but sometimes the best thing is to detach yourself from those and "just be"....

I dont even know if this makes sense. But i was trying to put words to the weird feelings i felt today, haha. Anyway, for now it is sleep and hopefully i can get atleast 6 hours sleep. Actually when i come to think of it.... lack of sleep can definitely cause the weird "out of tune with my body" feelings, and it can also cause "fat feelings", from my own experience anyway! Lack of sleep and lack of food can definitely cause weird body feelings.... so maybe priortizing sleep is what i need to do right now, hahaa!

Thats the thing with blogging, i give myself advice and come to realisations while i write ;);)


  1. brilliant posts today - as always, Izzy.
    Thank you for this one. Have been struggling with something non-body related, but you are so right in what you say here about getting your thoughts away from it because it's worse to dwell on things.
    Have a good day tomorrow! and a really good sleep i hope

    1. Thank you, and exactly... just focusing on other things is very helpful!! I hope you have a lovely weekend.

  2. Hope you managed to catch up on your sleep and are feeling more settled today. You are right about lack of sleep - it can cause all sorts of weird thoughts and feelings!
    On the topic of sleep, is there such a thing in recovery where sleep can only be described as exhausting? This is happening to me - I have been getting very vivid and disturbing dreams, waking up feeling terrible only to learn I have in fact only been asleep for maybe 10 or 20 minutes - although it feels like a lot longer. This has been going on for some time and I truly find sleep exhausting. Is this usual in recovery?
    Weird question I know but if anyone has any answers or possible explanations I would be grateful :)
    Hope you`re having a good day Izzy and looking forward to the weekend and maybe a break from your studies for a little while? you work so hard!

    1. Hmmm, I am not sure if this is from recovery or not. I know what you are talking about and i have had siilar experiences, but i think it can be due to stress (or an inner stress) or anxiety. Also sort of restless dreams where you wake often or there is alot that happens in the dreams.
      I would maybe look at your pre bed time routines, and also try to eat foods which are good for sleep before bed. It's never nice to sleep restlessly, but i would maybe Google and see if you find any advice - but also if it prolongs, then talk to a doctor as it might be due to something which you might not realise. Sorry this answer isn't so helpful, maybe someone else knows better :)

  3. Thanks for your reply Izzy, I appreciate its a strange question. I didn't think of inner stress/anxiety - I`ll have to have a good think about that one, and I`ll google sleep friendly foods too, see what comes up. At the moment I am having hot milk and digestives at bedtime, have done since the start of recovery so I don`t think that's a cause as milk is supposed to be sleep friendly isn't it?
    Whatever it is I could sure do without though. The dreams are quite disturbing and often about stuff long ago but in such detail I thought I`d forgotten about. weird.
    Thanks for your help :) how long did it take for your similar experience to pass? was that due to stress?