Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, February 21, 2016

Yesterdays fancy "james bond" themed class dinner

Hello :)

Finally an update from a tired and grumpy girl. Hahaha. I did not wake up on the good side of the bed this morning... infact i have just been in an absaloutly terrible mood today and for no reason i know of. And its not been a sad mood, just a sort of angry mood. But also, i am feeling like an 80 year old right now with so much back pain that i can barely put on pants.... So much for working out and being active as a way to prevent injuries. I dont really know what is going on with my back/hips (though i have a feeling its due to my shoes and me needing insoles and i havent done anything about it...), but anyway as mentioned before the past few weeks i have had alot of lower back pain and it was just about going away until yesterday evening when i crouched down to tie the strap on my heels and i felt how this sharp pain in my lower back area hit and after that i couldnt even stand without feeling like collapsing... and sitting for those hours during the dinner, i could barely get up afterwards. And now i cant lie down, sit down, stand, walk or function properly due to the pain. So i am going to the doctor on Wednesday and hopefully i can get a referral to someone who will look at what is going on with my back pain... but at the moment, it is misery. Now all i wish for is to be able to stand or walk without pain, or even to lie in bed comfortably... but nope. For now it is lots of rest and short walks as i find those are helpful, though i am hoping that it will feel better tomorrow because otherwise i have no idea how i will be able to sit down for all my lectures as sitting is the worst - then its a pressure on my spine and lower back. But anyway, all i can say is.... Take care of your body. My lower back pain stems from the over exercising i did during my eating disorder and how i always stood in weird positions and did alot of walking and running in bad shoes, and now its like i have to take the consequences of it. :(  But it will get better in time i hope anyway!

But onto the dinner yesterday.... I really wasnt feeling so social and wasnt so excited about heading out into the snow but i did have a good time while there, despite the amount of back pain i had! But i got talking to some of the  people in my class and could enjoy the 3 course dinner, and even a glass of wine and champagne was drunk as well as 1 shot of something very strong. I know that i shouldnt drink because of some of the medications i take which already cause a lot of pressure on my liver so mixing that with alcohol isnt good, but now a days i feel more like... if i want a drink i'll take one. And at the time i felt like i wanted one, and not to mention it tasted pretty good... and also slightly to numb the pain i had in my back, which worked somewhat.

Anyway, it was a nice evening and even if only 20% of the class was there (and the rest where those who put the dinner together), it was a nice time! Once the dinner was over around 10pm i left as i didnt feel like following with out to party and that was a pretty good choice, haha!!

Ohh also, i had a really nice time when my family came to visit me and they brought Daisy as well!! They didnt stay so long but it was nice to see them again :)

Today was meant to be studying and preparing for a seminar, but i would much rather just watch series all day and drink coffee, hahaha. Thats what Sundays are for right? :)


  1. I'm sorry you are suffering, Izzy, both from the physical pain and the bad mood (I know the feeling!). You look beautiful in your eveningwear. I'm glad you went and it was ok. Rest well, and here's hoping you feel better soon.

  2. You look beautiful Izzy! So sorry about your back pain though - hopefully you'll getto the bottom of it soon xxx

  3. I`m so glad you had a good day, both with your family and the dinner evening despite the back pain. I get back pains from time to time and they strike without warning too - mine stems from damage done during my time working in a nursing home , lifting patients too heavy for me. I find those medicated "heat" patches very good, they are contain medicated cream that when in contact with the skin feels warm and they stick on like large plasters, its called "deep heat" here, I don`t know if you have anything similar? But I know its miserable because try as you might any position is uncomfortable and even simple tasks like dressing become excruitiatingly painful. Maybe you could get to see a doctor sooner if it is so bad?
    My heart goes out to you and I really hope you feel better soon. Maybe you would be better off studying at home rather than having to sit through lectures if you are in pain. Could your lecturer give you notes from the sessions?
    Look after yourself and try to rest when you can.