Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, February 7, 2016

Yesterdays family day

It is strange how some days feel so much longer than other days. Its still 24 hours, or say 16 hours of awake time, but either time slows down or speeds up. I guess time is sort of relative in a way.... sometimes 10 minutes flies by and other times 10 minutes feels like half a life time.

But anyway, yesterday i had my morning planned out so that i would get everything done before my family came to visit, though of course it didnt go as planned! First i went for a walk, came back and ate breakfast quickly before having to rush for the bus as the bus only went every 30 minutes. My plan was to try the new gym, from the same gym branch, as it was supposed to be bigger and more area for strength training and more weights and bars and such. So i had checked how i would travel and it seemed easy, it would take 30 minutes, well only 15 minutes of actual travelling.. the rest was waiting time. But i got on the bus and knew it would be 3 stations, but i wasnt paying attention to the stations and i thought the bus would stop, because in Stockholm the bus most often stops at each bus station but that was not the case. So after a while and not seeing the station i was getting off at and thinking, "wow this is  more than 5 minutes", i then checked the travel app and realised the bus had passed my station a long time ago... so i tried to keep my cool and thought, ill get off at the next station and take the bus going the opposite direction. But once i got off, i had no idea where i was. It was basically motor way, Ikea and a huge supermarket, and i couldnt find the bus station anywhere... and the one i did find it was just for passengers getting off. So then i put on Google maps and thought, it shouldnt be so far to walk.... but the only problem was that i had to keep walking the opposite direction of where i was supposed to be walking because i was trying to find a way to cross the road (where cars were driving 50-80km/hr). Eventually i had to turn around and walk all the way back again and finally found a bus station, where the next bus was coming in 25 minutes, so it was just to stand in the cold and wait.... and eventually 2 hours later i got to the gym. I can say... that was not a fun adventure. I was actually kind of scared...  But anyway, i'll learn from my mistakes and next time it will be easier to get to the gym.

What did i think of the gym? It was bigger and more adapted for strength training, so thats nice. Ill mix between the two gyms depending on what i plan on working out.... But i now understand the whole "scared of starting a gym" feeling, because i suddenly felt so tiny.... like i havent worked out at all, and at first i just had to walk around and see where everything was and put together a plan of what i was going to workout... but in the beginning i felt so silly, thinking "what will people think of me.... a silly little girl with her shorts and thinking 'she is something'." But once i began working out that faded as i got into my zone and just dont care what others think of me. My advice if you are starting a new gym, whether you have worked out before or not.... go there with a plan, have a kick ass music playlist and just do your thing!! (But if you are a newbie, do ask for help ;);) Dont be scared of that, the PT's or staff working at gyms are capable and there to help you, so dont be scared to ask!)

Anyway, after this long story... my family (my mum, step dad, sister, aunt and my Dog!!!) picked me up and we went out for lunch and then on the way to the car i said i was going to buy some milk and cake which we could have at my apartment, so they went to the car and i went into the store. But then i realised i could do my weekly shopping so i wouldnt have to do it today (on Sunday) and then have to carry 3 heavy bags back home, so the 2 minutes turned into 15 minutes, hahahaha. They were understanding though, and i bought cake so it was fine!

And then a walk with Daisy and coffee and cake before they left and it was just me again. It was nice to see my family, but mostly nice to see Daisy. I do miss seeing Daisy everyday, and if she were allowed to live with me i would bring her with me as i know i would have time to take her for walks, and i would be able to buy her food and such but i dont think dogs are allowed in the apartments, but i think i miss Daisy the most XD

Anyway, this post is super long and i had planned to write it yesterday but i am falling asleep so early now a days and so tired in the evenings that i dont really have the energy to write posts then.

For now, its Sunday and i think im going to head into town and try to look for a Valentines present for my boyfriend.... no idea what to buy, something meaningful anyway not just some random item i find. Ill try to figure something out - or if you have suggestions ;)

I hope you all have a great day, and i will try to keep up with regular blogging just lacking ideas... so many other things in my head right now XD

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear you saw your family and had a nice day - I can understand you missing your dog though, maybe you can visit them and take her out from time to time? Your trip to the gym certainly turned into a bit of an ordeal but its good that it all turned out right in the end. It is scary travelling along new routes to places you don`t know so I think you coped really well. Me - I would have probably given up and gone home!

    As for Valentines Day - just what do you buy other than the usual chocolate?? I always get a box of Thorntons truffles for my partner as he loves these but for something different, what about jewlery? Is your boyfriend a jewlery man? something like a nice bracelet maybe? That and the usual out for dinner - somewhere - nice sort of thing, predictable I know but that's what people do on Valentines Day isn't it! Or you could buy a bottle of something nice and get a takeaway and have a cosy night in together - that would be my preference personally. Valentines Day can be a bit commercialised but you can easily put your own spin on it. What about making him one of your delicious looking cakes? that would be a really personal and unique present.
    Whatever you decide to do I hope you have a lovely time. How long have you been together now?
    Wishing you a great week!