Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, February 9, 2016

When will you be happy with the way you look? Happiness comes from the inside

I think an important question to ask yourself is.... when will you be happy with the way you look? What is it you are aiming for and why do you believe it will make you happier? Long term happiness doesn't come from your body size shape or weight.
  Your body changes all the time, there isnt so much you can do about that, that is how the body is and how its made.

Instead you need to find happiness in other things... i mean even things like strength or speed etc they're great and that but in the end if your happiness is only in your progress at the gym or the speed of your run, then that will eventually let you down as well, because there will come a time when oyu cant run as fast or you arent as strong anymore. Instead you need to find happiness in friends, family, hobbies etc 

But back to the main topic of when will you be happy with your looks? I wasnt happy when i was super skinny, i wasnt exactly so happy before i became sick either... though then i didnt pay so much attention to my body so i dont know whether i was happy or not, i just lived in my body i didnt think about it so much.
   I felt happier in my body when i was recovered and a healthier weight, then when i began exercising too much feeling like i needed to change my body i didnt feel happy. It wasnt until i began focusing on loving my body for what it could and just how it looked right then that i felt happier and more confident. When i stopped focusing on changing my body, but accepting how it looked right then.... of course over the years my body has changed alot, but it hasnt been my purpose. My goal has been to be stronger and feel stronger, but changing my body has just happened because of the way i workout.
You needt o stop focusing on the negatives, on changing your body thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, because it isnt. Self love DOESNT come from having another body type, shape or weight. Body love and self love comes from INSIDE, from your mind and your thoughts. You can go up and down in weight, try to gain muscle or tone up or gain or lose fat, but you will still have a disordered body image and not feel happy until you begin focusing on your thoughts and focusing on loving your body from the inside out. Your appearance will change your whole life... think about if you become pregnant if you are a girl, or what happens if you injure yourself or something happens and you cant walk or you get burned or you lose an arm or leg.... life goes on, but as long as you dont base your happiness on your looks or being a certain weight or size then you can still be happy and feel happy.
What i think is a good thing to realise is that there are people who cant walk, people who only have one leg or one arm or people who have burn scars or skin conditions and such and they would do anything to have your body, have your healthy body .... but all you focus on is that little bit of fat on your stomach? You cry because you dont have a thigh gap when there are people who literally dont have legs or you think you are ugly because you have fat on your body? Think about those people who are covered in burn scars from accidents or have had to have loads of operations due to illnesses or such.
  Now of course, i dont believe in comparing people or peoples feelings, emotions or struggles. I.e if someone tells me that i shouldnt be stressed or sad because someone else is more stressed or has it worse than me. But sometimes you need to think realistically and ask yourself why are you panicking, hating yourself and thinking you are ugly or that you shouldnt be alive because you are ugly when there are people who would only dream of looking like you and having your healthy body?
   Just a little something to think about. 

You wont feel happier by losing a few kilo or not having any fat on your body. You will be happy when you accept and love yourself for who you are and how you look.


  1. Today was the first time I have looked in the mirror after having a bath and can honestly say I am beginning to like how my body is changing. I never thought I`d feel that. I`m not sure how I felt before, but I know I didn't like what I saw and wasn't happy when I was at such a low weight - I guess I just ignored myself. But now I think I`m beginning to feel the first stirrings of appreciation for myself - what I have put my body through and yet it is recovering. That is amazing.

    1. This makes me so happy to read!!! Thank you for sharing, this is the positives about recovery and focusing on wanting to recover. Remember this feeling, the happiness and liking your body. Because it's a nice feeling, so the days where you don't feel so great, remember these feelings... and try ti get back to them!! :) I hope you continue to feel happy in your body and can appreciate the changes as positive ones!

  2. I'm starting to fill my jeans and thou on one level i want to to feel sexy and be womanly I'm also scared cos I'm not at target weight and scared ill get so so big. i also feel like i shouldn't like my body as i will be punished and suddenly look obese.