Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Those days when you just want to hide under the cover and refuse to be an adult

One of those days where I just have to get through it. With my mind set on this evening and being able to just rest.

My day didn't start so well, which basically set the tone for the rest of my day. I tried making the best of my morning and headed to the gym, but it was so crowded, I couldn't focus I felt tired both mentally and physically and after 20 minutes hunger pangs kicked in despite eating a big breakfast. But I pushed through anyway and it did feel good but if there is one thing pulling me back to stockholm, that is being able to go to my normal gym.... otherwise I enjoy my freedom. I don't mind the town or my university, I like where I live but I miss my old gym... and my dog. Hahah. The two things that matter in my life XD

One thing that makes me happy though is that my mum (and maybe rest of my family?) Are coming this weekend and bringing daisy. And I can't wait, it will be nice to see my dog again and take her for a walk.

Anyway, today has just been one of those "head ache days". My head has hurt and I've been unable to concentrate and I haven't wanted to work today. ... its been too much. My brain needs a break, but at the same time the other side of my brain is screaming I can't afford a break.  I don't have time to not study. I need to do x hours each day, no time to rest. But then I need to remind myself that it was that type of thinking that lead me to "burn out/break down" from the stress and pressure. ... and it's only the past while I've felt a little better and more positive and I don't plan on falling back down to the bottom when I've worked so hard to try ti get back to my normal self.  So I need to learn to take mental pauses... I cant work so hard that I break down and can barely study as I can't even get out of bed.  It's not worth it to be like a lifeless zombie for 6-12 months or more, just because I can't seem to realise when enough is enough or when my mind needs a break.

So for now,  I'm going to do my group assignment, then do some memorizing and finish some work from today and then hopefully a whole evening of no work and just series watching!!

Also today has been one of those days where it's non stop hunger. ...hungry all the time. The body is so smart, when I don't sleep eniugh and need more energy my body says 1) caffeine, 2) food and 3)sleep(though it should be the other way really, haha).

Anyway, now my vent for the day is over and I'm going to try make rhe best of today anyway! !

And advice from me, remember to take mental breaks. Your body and mind need it!


  1. Aww Izzy! I feel exactly the same way today. The work gets sooo much and overwhelming sometimes. And you want to do well. ButI also burned out and broke down from pushing myself too hard. So I totally agree that balance is very important! Still trying to figure that out. AlthoughI think it gets to a point where your mind and body just adamently refuses to do any more.

    I know how tough university is. I'm in my final year of medschool before internship so I'm freaking out!!

    I thought for a post idea you could maybe write about ways to take care of yourself, recover and live healthily during such times where you're nearing burnout. And also some energy gaining tips- like best foods for energy, mild exercises, etc.

    Hope you rest up well tonight!!


    1. Its so much easier to give advice than to follow it yourself... you know what you should do, but you dont always do it. But i have learnt, that i should follow the advice i give and i know how important it is to take breaks for my mental and physical health. Sometimes you shouldnt wait until your body and mind give up, because then it has already gone too far. Small breaks often i think is best :)

      I can try write about those posts, thank you :) Remind me if i dont.

      Stay strong, and remember that your mental health comes before school work. You can always redo school work, but you cant always get your mental health back.

  2. You've nailed it! You need to take time away from work, so that you can look after yourself properly, and come back in a better state both mentally and physically.

    I've lost count of the times over my PhD so far where I've said "I can't afford a break". But...since I've gone on a leave of absence, I've realised that I couldn't have afforded NOT to take a break!

    As I've been told so many times, work might feel important, but nothing's more important than your health. Enjoy your series binge, you've earned it. :-)

    1. Exactly, health - both physical and mental - always comes first. Because i mean there is no point "burning out" tring to get perfect graades and then unable to study or concentrate anymore because you are so exahusted. Its so important to take breaks... thoough its easier to say it, and advise others than to do it myself... but im learning!! I know how important it is to have a healthy mental state :)

      And i am glad you have realised how important breaks are as well :)