Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Study day and a creepy experience

Study 15 minutes, use social media 5 minutes. Study 15 minutes, use social media 5 minutes etc etc... thats basically what i have done today. Not so effective today at all... infact i pretty much just relying on my past week of study and my udnerstanding of the subjects to help me with my tests tomorrow. Because both yesterday and today havent been so great in the focus of studying. At times ive felt like its too much and there is no way i can remember it all and all the tiny details and other times its felt like ive reread the same chapter and words 5 times and i know it already. So i am stuck between feeling like i have already failed and dont know anything, to feeling like i might just pass....

I hate tests. They are the worst but then again essays and pretty awful as well, but i hate with tests how you sort of need to know everything and you can prepare but at the same time there is always those questions which you just dont have the answer to and you cant just research or google... youeither have to know the answer or you dont.

Im not feeling confident going into tomorrows tests, but i feel that i dont want to overstress myself when infact i have 2 other chances to redo the test if it doesnt go so well and i can only do my best. But i need to remember that i need my mental health to last... i cant study so much that i break down, because then who cares about the test if m ymental health is at 0. One positive thing i have learnt from last year anyway... that studying is important but so is my mental health and i cant stress myself so much over one test.

One thing which i am worried about tomorrow though is waking up in time.... my test starts at 8 so i want to be there for 7.30 and well, i need to wake up in time... and ive had some  trouble with that recently where i have slept through my alarms. So a part of me wants to not sleep at all so that i dont have to worry about waking up (stupid idea)... i just really hope i wake up in time. XD

Otherwise.... i had a really weird experience a short while ago. So there was a knock on the door and first off i didnt want to open, but then i thought it might be the people who are going to fix a cupboard in our kitchen. And the last time i didnt open the door when someone knocked, they opened it anyway as they were working for the builing and had to fix a water pipe that had broken.... so i was sitting there studying and then a man walked into the kitchen (this was last week/two weeks ago), and i didnt want the same thing to happen. So i opened the door and there stood a man and said he was going to buy my freezer.... i was super confused thinking, did my room mate forget to mention something to me. But then i was like, we cant sell our freezer because then we wont have one so this doesnt make sense.... So i told him he had to wrong door and that we werent selling our freezer, but he kept trying to talk and i kept trying to close my door as i was getting a weird vibe from the man. The man had a very weird stare, an analzying and creepy stare and he was like "you bite your nails, are you stressed?", and i just smiled and said yeah.. i was studying for a test tomorrow so needed to get back to that. And then before i closed the door he was like "you look tired"... and then i closed the door. All in all a super weird experience and i feel a little creeped out. I hate how there is no peephole in the door so i cant see who it is that is knocking, because generally speaking i dont want to open for strangers.... and the man was just super creepy and seemed to really want to get into the apartment, and i just worry that maybe hes seen into the apartment and seen that i am alone or something like that... i dont know. I think this is the worst thing about living alone, when you just feel creeped out.

A part of my friends response when i told them what had happened XD

P.s we all have weird nicknames in our group chat ;);)

But anyway, i am now taking a pause from my unproductive studying and am going to eat some dinner and then another hour or two to just look over small details and then hopefully an early nights sleep and tomorrow it is test time!!!

Blogging isnt so great at the moment but ill be back tomorrow afternoon when i am done with my test!!


  1. Well done for being cautious and closing the door! You never need to talk to strangers, and if they keep trying to make conversation you can still just shut the door ... and should. Do keep safe, xx.

  2. ps - good luck in your test!

  3. "who cares about the test if my mental health is at 0"
    So much this! Exactly what I keep trying to tell myself. Having a PhD would be great, but it's not gonna mean much if I'm dead or dying. :S

    Family are always saying that health is more important than anything, but it's so easy to lose sight of that in pursuit of other goals.

    And the guy trying to buy your freezer...sounds like a cold caller! *Badoom-tsh*

  4. Hey Izzy! I stoped reading your blog a while ago because I was declared healthy from anorexia, and you know, I left behind that part of my life. Today I decided to go through your blog again to ser how your life is going hahaha. I didn't know you were studying! What are you studying? Good luck! :*

  5. hi!

    Laat week I ate about 2200-2300 calories, according to my bodies signs. If i felt hungry, I ate. (I was at home as sick, so I didn't do as much activity as I normally do. But I did an hour of brutal cycling (approx. 600 cals -) 3 times, and I went to somewhere every day. To the library, or to the doctor, so I spent an hour or two with walking or being 'active' every day, and I ws learning all day long, and I am 14, 163 cm) and I gained 1 kg. And I am 2,4 kgs over my healthy set point, and I am shocked and jealous, because my classmates can eat 2500-3000 calories a day, and maintain, and I gain with 2200-2300. (and yes, I ate a dessert one of those days, so once a week I ate 3100 cals.) So what do you think about me? How much calories should I eat? (I have athletic trainings (running, jumping, etc) 3-4 times a week (1,5 hour), and I am doing some other activity 1 times a week. And I am studying 8-9 hours every day. How much should I eat? (and please dont say I dont need to count calories). How much should I eat, or how to boost my metabolism?
    Thanks for your answer,
    A reader

  6. Have you thought about putting one of those chains on your door so you can open it enough to see who it is but still feel safe? What a horrid experience and you did right to shut the door on him. There certainly are some weird people around, maybe he just got the wrong address and what he said about the freezer was true - but it pays to be cautious. If he comes back contact the police.
    Good luck for your test today (Friday) I`m sure you know more than you think you do, and like you say you can always take the test again if it comes to that (but I`m sure it won`t). Your health and well being is far more important than any test, so make sure you take a proper break and relax doing something nice after the test, ok???

  7. ps you don't need to apologise for your blogging! Your blogging is wonderful, and it is so lovely that you keep such a presence here with all of us. If you didn't, it would be completely understandable, but you do, and it's lovely. Take care, and hope you have a good day, X.