Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, February 4, 2016

Learning about nutrition helped me find balance with food

Something which was beneficial to my recovery was learning about nutrition and why we need food. Of course the focus of recovery from an eating disorder is to move away from food and obssesive food thoughts, to find other things in life and let food be part of life, but not your whole life. (Of course, if someone enjoys working with food or nutrition after an eating disorder that is ok as well... but during recovery the focus should be on finding balance with food.)

But for me, doing my own research about nutrition was beneficial. I already knew alot about food, or that is what i thought... but what i knew was calories in almost all foods and could calculate the calories in a meal quickly and a very good estimation, and i knew about diets. I knew about eating little and had fear foods, and they were fear foods because they had alot of calories, because i thought they would make me fat. Though of course when i learnt more about calories and nutrition i realised that no one food will make you fat, and you cant live on just "safe foods", not only that is restricts you emmensly in life, but also my body wouldnt get the right energy.

When i was struggling with my eating disorder, i knew calories and low calorie diets, i thought you shouldnt eat carbs and that fat made you fat and i didnt think protein was important or necessary. I knew so little about nutrition, yet i was obsessed with food, or more i was obsessed with calories and eating as litle as possible.... it was calories over nutrition.

But then when i began to learn more about nutrition i realised why it was important to eat all the food groups, why it was important with variation and to get the vitamins and minerals you need. I realised that balance was key.... that i could eat all types of food in moderation. I realised that carbs were necessary and fat didnt make you fat. I realised that it was more important to focus on nutrition than calories.... that a banana was alot better than a 99-Kcal special K bar, or fruit with peanut butter was better than just rice cakes (which have little to no nutrition).

Of course i just learnt the basics and no where near as much as now - which i guess is normal as its university i am studying at, and not just "protein, carbs, fat", now its how those macro and micronutrients break down, how they are absorped into the cells, how they are transported into the body, what their job in the body is and all the different chemistry and reactions in the body, so more advanced than just the basic "a banana filled with vitamins and minerals is better for you than choosing a low calorie bar that contains chemicals, additives, sugar and little to no nutrition". But that was all i needed to know to help me.... to help me realise how important it is to nourish your body, to treat it right. To take care of my body and make it stronger, not try to break it down. But also realising that extra calories here and there, now and again dont make so much difference, if it is a continuous extra it is stored as extra energy, but eating extra here and there... that energy will be used in the body, or you will feel more energetic naturally and that has the balancing effect.

I think that learning about the importance of nutrition and treating your body right can be important in recovery, maybe not everyone... for some its easier to completely take the focus away from food. But i think learning about nutrition, learning how to cook and not be afraid of oils and butter, learning about why you shouldnt be scared of your fear foods can actually be helpful. Because in all honesty, someone telling you Carbs wont make you fat, fat wont make you fat. Its not so helpful and doesnt take the fear away.... 1) Is to learn for yourself that eating the right sort of fat wont make you fat and that eating the right sort of carbs wont make you gain lots of weight - realising it for yourself is often the best, but also 2) learning the facts. Of course when you are really struggling not even the facts will make you think differently, you think you are an exception, but somewhere inside you will realise that you cant argue with scientifically proven facts regarding how the body works.

Learning that food isnt something you need to be scared of and realising why you need food everyday can be beneficial in recovery.... but also to take the anxiety and fear factor away from food, trying to fight the irrational fears with proven facts.

This was just something that helped me anyway, doesnt mean it will help everyone but i do think it can help some to learn more about nutrition and not just calories.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting. I`m the sort of person that when I do something I want to know all about it, hence me asking you for a post about food groups and what is a balanced diet!
    Since starting recovery I`ve begun to appreciate the role food plays in your body and just how necessary good nutrition is. I cringe when I think how I have abused my body to the state that it is in now, you`re right - just focusing on calories and not the food groups. I have brought myself a book on nutrition - in the Dummies range, have you heard of that? and so far have been dipping in and out of it, very interesting.
    I can understand why you are so interested in nutrition, it is quite fascinating. Ofcourse I would love it if in time you were able to write more posts about what you have been studying as I think its very beneficial to have some idea about whats going on in our body and how what we eat affects so many things.