Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Gaining weight with a goal in focus
Hi i need to put on weight by july to go bk to college. I dont know how to stay focused to ensure i meet my target when im so scared to eat & gain weight & see numbers go up.
I think the first thing you need to do is to see all the positive things about gaining weight and eating enough and want to do it for yourself as well. Because it is great to have goals such as getting to go back to college, but if you dont want to do it for yourself then its much easier to relapse or once you reach the goal you go back to your old ways. So you have to want to recover for yourself.
Think about the positives of weight gain: You get to go back to college, you get more freedom, get to live more of a life, meet friends, study, be more independant, you have more energy, you can focus and concentrate better, you will feel stronger, your body will be healthier. Those are positives and things that should make you want to gain weight, or atleast help you make that choice. But i know that its not so easy as just eat and gain weight, there is alot behind it... but as mentioned, you have to want to do it for yourself. To feel better, to be free of your eating disorder, to have more energy and be able to focus more.
During this time period from February until July, focus on changing your thoughts, thinking differently. Focus on facing fear foods and facing your fears as well as stepping outside of your comfort zone. Doing the opposite of what your eating disorder wants you to do. The only way to overcome the fear of eating properly and enough as well as gaining weight, is to do it..... to realise that it is nothing bad and that it will HELP you. It is your eating disorder that doesnt want you to gain weight and thinks that eating is bad. But YOU need to fight back and regain your life and you do that by doing the opposite of what that voice in your head tells you to do.
Focus on your goal of getting back into college, but also have smaller goals along the way.... such as if you gain Xkg then you get to buy a certain item or do something you have wanted to do. Small goals along the way can be a great motivator.
Try to find your way of coping with the anxiety and/or guilt with healthy coping mechanisms, anything from talking to someone, writing, drawing, painting, listening to podcasts/music, playing music, making jewellery etc etc Find ways that can help you to relax and distract yourself when you are feeling anxious and guilty.
Know that the changes in your body and the changes you make towards a healthier you are positive ones. The changes you may notice in your body are GOOD ones, it means your body is getting healthier and more energized. You can't let your eating disorder control you, and the only way to be free is to do the opposite of your eating disorder.
It gets easier in time, you get stronger and feel better and the only way to overcome the fear is to face it. You can not run from your problems and there is no "easy" recovery, but it does get easier!! Focus on your goals and want to recover for yourself. Focus on all the positives about recovery and getting your life back, and having a healthy body which functions properly!!!