Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Food shopping and eating while living on my own

Do you find it easier catering for yourself now you`re living away from home ie making your own choices of what to buy and eat rather than just having food available at home? I know theres the responsibility side of it but I found it so much fun to be able to choose exactly what I wanted when I first moved away. And you soon get the hang of budgeting, it doesn't have to be expensive if you`ve got a rough idea of the food you are going to buy and of course you soon learn which shops are better value than others.
Glad to see you`re still having your chocolate - got to have some comfort food :)

I remember once when all i wanted was to live on my own so that i could not eat... so that nobody would be there to force me to eat. And i remember when i was in recovery thinking, if i ever live on my own... how would i be able to eat on my own? I couldnt and wouldnt eat if nobody forced me to eat. If no one was there to make me eat i would skip meals, just because i knew i could... But also, it took me a long time to 1) even be able to admit to myself that i was hungry and not feel like that was a sign of weakness and 2) be able to tell others i was hungry, 3) buy food for myself... for me, that was such a sign of weakness for a very long time. and 4) be able to eat on my own, without anyone forcing me to.

Of course i got over those things a long time ago - clearly, haha. But it is strange to think back to those times when i wanted to live on my own just so that i could continue with my sick ways. But also, i didnt think i could ever live on my own as i knew that i couldnt take care of myself. And that is one of the important things... to be able to take care of yourself while living on your own (or away from home anyway. ) You need to be able to cook for yourself, take care of yourself, call family or friends when needed (not just isolate yourself) and also be able to clean, cook, buy food etc Also I didnt think i could ever have a relationship either as i thought, there is no way i could eat with another person or eat infront of others, but that was something i overcame aswell.

But to answer the question, i enjoy being able to buy my own food and just have my own food at home!! It is one of the things i have longed for, for a very long time. Because i am the type of person who, if we have certain food at home i will eat it just because it is there. And the reason for alot of my stomach pain and digestion problems is that i have eaten foods that my stomach/body doesnt like, but ive eaten them just because we have had them at home... but also because i wasnt paying for the food (didnt have the economy for it) i didnt feel like asking for different food, so i just ate what we had at home.
  But now, just 3 days of buying my own food and i havent bought any of the foods i shouldnt eat and my stomach is feeling so much better. Not bloated at all and no stomach pain either.... it feels good to just have the food i want at home (or well, in my cabinets/part of the fridge. My roommate of course has her food and such).  Of course the negative side is that i cant quite eat the amount i used to - i did calculate my 24 hour energy intake and it wasnt as much as i had thought i ate, which might be the reason for both my mental and physical energy... but ill figure that out, trying to eat more calorie dense food so that i get the right energy without it being too expensive.

Another negative though is that there definitely isnt as much variety, i mean all those "extras" such as pickles, beetroots, fresh fruit and other things i dont have now... its just the basics of "frozen vegetables, some type of carbohydrate and then some protein source either quorn or tuna", and then for snacks its eggs, chia seeds, protein puddings, quark, nuts, raisins.... thats pretty much my intake, so very boring and i cant buy extra things like fresh berries, avocados, sweet potatoe, pickles, caviar, sauces etc...  I mean i could, but then i wouldnt have any savings or have money to buy other things in my life... i cant spend it all on food, but that just means when i am home ill extra of those things, hahahah XD

1 comment:

  1. My advice to you would be to plan what you are going to have for your meals for the week then do a shop based on that plan. The reason being because it is cheaper to stick to a list rather than impulse buy things you fancy at the time and also because buying bigger packets of food works out cheaper than smaller packets.
    Work out what your staples are ie bread, potatoes, milk, eggs, pasta/rice, and build your meals around them. Buy canned or frozen fruit - just as good on porridge and cheaper and have a selection of canned foods such as beans and tomatoes in your cupboard as they can form the basis of a quick and simple meal very cheaply. This way you will probably find you can afford to get a few little extras such as pickles or sauces. Weekend markets are cheaper than shops too for fruit and veg, well they are here anyway. Make your own packed lunches rather than buying out, you can make up a sandwich or a cold pasta/rice salad the night before and it is so much cheaper than buying ready made or buying out.
    I`m glad your tummy is settling down now you are making your own food choices, being without tummy pain will make you feel a whole lot better and you`re right it is easier to make dietry changes when you`re in control of the food shop.
    You`ll soon get the hang of it - experience is a great teacher. I remember days of eeking out tins of baked beans to last me the week because I`d overspent elsewhere and had no money for anything else - that experience was a massive learning curve for me and over time I have learnt to put meals together very cheaply and how to shop sensibly - all that will come as time goes on - you`ll be an expert on food prices in no time! Also there are some very good student cookbooks available that give healthy recipes for cheap but nourishing meals and they`re often written in quantities for one - no good following a recipe for four when theres only you! I still use a couple of those cookbooks today as some of the recipes are so good.
    Happy shopping!