Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, February 8, 2016

Exercising and eating enough

I'm currently struggling with eating enough and exercising. I typically exercise 4-5 days a week, sometimes 6 if I feel like it. I switch this up at the gym (doing strength training that I just started!) and cardio as a warm up sometimes and HIIT workouts at home. I feel like Im not gaining any progress in the gym and Im just loosing more weight which wasn't what I had intended but its really hard to eat enough :(

You didnt say how long you workout, but i can say that if you workout 4-6 times a week, that is alot. But also you didnt specify whether you where underweight or a normal weight, because if you are already underweight then i wouldnt recommend doing this much exercise, especially not if you cant eat enough. You have to remember that when you exercise you have to eat more... You have to eat what your body needs everyday and then extra when you workout, and if you are losing weight and that is not your goal then you arent eating enough and means you have to eat much more than you think.

You wont make much progress if you dont fuel yourself, instead you will just feel tired and less energetic and if you are losing weight you will be losing both fat and muscle and you just feel weaker.

My suggestion is to add in a pre and post workout snack. For example a pre workout: Oatmeal with peanut butter, raisins, banana and milk. Or make a smoothie with 2-3dl vanilla (full fat) yoghurt, banana, caocao powder or peanut butter (or both) & some milk and oats. Or a big bowl of granola with nuts and yoghurt. Or bread with topping.

And then post workout (Either bring with you to the gym or eat when you get home), Fried eggs with bread and a fruit as well. Rice cakes with butter/nut butter/other topping. Protein shake and a banana and rice cakes.

Just some examples, but there is so much you cant eat :) Try to increase your portions... Tell yourself that if you cant increase your food, you cant exercise. I had to do that with myself before when i wasnt eating enough for my exercise amounts.... so i had to 1) Decrease my exercise and exercise intensity and at the same time eat more. And it helped, i grew stronger, felt more energetic and happier and both felt and saw progress. So try something like that.... know that eating more will benefit you, it will help you. The energy you eat will be used!! 

I do have to add on a sidenote though, that if you are underweight, and less than BMI 18, then exercising so much wouldnt be recommended, as you willl just be stressing and breaking down your body. 

Another suggestion... go  one whole week with no workouts (Other than daily activity and maybe a short walk here and there) - but if you cant do this, then you might need to rethink your relationship with food and exercise. But go one week with little to no exercise and increase your food at the same time, this will help your body and you will be filled with energy so that after a week you will feeel more energetic and feel stronger when you workout again. But then you also have to keep up with eating more and enough.... but its just a sort of refuel week which will help you :) Trust me, it works, its like a kickstart!

I dont know whether this helped or not, but if the voice in your head is telling you to not eat more, then you have to fight that voice and know that eating more will help you and make YOU stronger. But if it is just that you arent hungry, then eat more calorie dense foods, and make sure to eat enough carbs as they are the number one energy source during exercise (and just living in general!). So even if you dont feel hungry, if you are losing weight then you arent eating enough and means you need to eat more, and my suggestiong, eat high kcal food which you like!!! 

Below are two links which might be helpful:


  1. Nice post - can't wait to be happy and healthy and exercise again, to feel strong and not as weak as I do now... Question: (PTW) why do I have even less energy and am soooo fcking tired now that I eat more? When I was restricting to 400 calories, I had way more energy than now with 1000 calories (I know it's still too little, I'm still increasing!) but ugh it drives me crazy - why should I eat more if I feel weaker and weaker and more tired? Please help! Xoxo

    1. Because when you were eating 400kcal your body was in starvation mode and certain processes in your body had shut down, your body was storing all energy and using minimal as it was barely getting any energy in. But for some reason (I am sure i will learn more about this in my course), but people can find that when they eat nothing they feel more productive, such as when people do 5:2 or intermittent fasting.. they feel energetic during those hours... which is strange, as food and glucose is what gives you energy, but i think its a sort of strange mental energy... the body isnt using energy digesting food which craves lots of energy and makes you tired. Like when you eat a huge meal and you have a sort of food coma and feel super tired, because your body is using so much energy trying to digest and absorb the food... but then afterwards you get lots of energy.

      So right now, your body is thanking you for the extra energy and it is using that energy, processes in your body are happening which make you tired, because all that energy is going to helping your body recover. So allow yourself to be tired, rest... both mental and physical rest and eat more. You will get more energy back and feel both mentally and physically more energetic when the body gets enough energy i.e closer to 2000+ kcal a day. When your body feels balanced and gets enough energy to survive and have energy to live, not just perform basic tasks inside the body. So give it time... your body is exhausted and so is your mind, so all your body really needs right now is food and rest, and the energy will come, i promise!! Before it was a sort of "fake" energy.

    2. Ah that makes sense! Thanks for replying, this was really helpful :) you're amazing and I LOVE your blog, keep up the good work!

  2. I read somewhere that the energy anorexics feel whilst they are restricting is down to nuro- transmiters in the brain, for some reason they are super charged during starvation and when you begin to eat again they subside, hence you feel tired more often.
    I know how you feel - most days I feel as though I have been run over by a bus and by lunchtime I am ready for a nap. I am hoping that in time this will indeed pass as I still find it ironic that just when I am eating better than I have done for a long while, I feel worse, not better for it.
    Good luck and keep going with recovery, we`ll get there in the end!