Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, January 14, 2016

Would I like my body even if exercise hadn't changed my body

Thank you for this. Just a question, would you be happy in your body eve if it hadn't changed (from when you reached your goal weight?) Or did you just love your body when it changed?

This is a really good question and one I've been asked before, i think. But I'm sure others might be wondering about the answer because of my past post. 

The answer,  I'm sure I would have liked and loved my body. But at the same time I didn't feel proportionate. I felt like my arms were still like twigs whilst my lower  half was bigger. And I have had people email me with the same situation. And for me, getting stronger and getting bigger arms was helpful as I felt it balanced out my body. And not to mention that I found something new I loved and was good at as well as the feeling of strength.... something I had never really felt before.
   I think it's also a bit like, I want my insides to show on my outsides. For example when you are sick, struggling and hurting you want it to show on the outside... and for me even if I didn't show my self harm scars, I knew they were there and rhey showed the truth. That even if I smiled I was struggling. .. my outsides showed my insides. And in a way it's the same now... my inner strength shows with my outer strength.

I think you learn to love your body if you work hard at it. And that's the best thing to do. ... to focus your energy on self love,rather than focusing all your energy on changing your body and finding your flaws. I could still be stuck in the self hate and criticizing my body, but I focused on loving my body. I was accepting and liked my body when I had reached my goal weight. And I love my body now, even when it's changed... the one time I didn't love my body (from 2012-2016) was when I was stuck in too much exercise and had a low boy fat percent. ... I felt huge and bloated and was very appearance focused and very critical of my body.  But when I realised that I am more than my body. More than exercise and a low body fat percent. When I began to live life and not let my appearance control my mood then I felt much more loving of my body.

So I think the less you focus on your body, the more you can learn to love it. Because if you focus on your flaws and the things you want to change you get caught up in that and never really stop to appreciate your body.

I love and appreciate my body now for what it can do. I am not so appearance focused as I know that my body will change in the future.  I know I bloat and Somedays I think I look great and other days I don't like what I see. But I know that I still love my body and wouldn't want to change it. I.e my body changes from exercise but I don't have a goal such as visible abs, thigh gap, low body fat % etc

I think it's better to have non appearance based goals such as stronger,  faster, more flexible, better health, more functional etc though that's just my opinion.

But to answer the question in a sentence. Yes I think I would have learnt to fully love and accept my body even if it hadn't changed from exercise. But I also know that I do love my body alot more now than before because I am capable of so much more now.

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