Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, January 4, 2016

What I've learnt during 2015

I am far too trusting of people and always see their positives. This is of course a good thing and means that I don't see the negatives in people and don't judge people. However it also means that I am the one who ends up hurt because I trust people and just want to believe that they are good and don't mean me harm,  when that isn't always the case. Unfortunately I've been a little too believing of people's goodness and I've been the one who  ended up getting hurt.

Perfect grades don't mean anything if I end up breaking from the stress. My health will always come first and should be priortized. Grades and school work cab be fixed and those things sort themselves out but if I ruin my health or my mental health falls too negatively, that can't always be fixed.

I need to learn to say no. I am a push over and don't always say no, I just agree or say nothing at all. And get alot of guilt if I say no, but this year I need to learn to not feel guilty for putting myself first and not just agreeing to everything.

I have learnt talking about my problems doesn't have to mean bad consequences.  People care and I'm not complaining or being annoying just because I mention I'm struggling. It's ok to struggle,  but it's not ok to give up.

I have learnt that at times I will feel like giving up, but that is not an option.

Things don't always turn out as planned or expected but that can be a good thing.

I've learnt that I can eat  insane amounts of food and that makes my workouts even better!!!

I've learnt that I can do so much more than I believe I can. I've pushed myself in exercise and workouts and done things I didn't think I could.

I've learnt to enjoy travelling. Ever since I became sick - back in 2008/2009, I've hated travelling 1) because it changed my routines and then 2) since spending so many years in hospital and developing  a fear of sleeping anywhere but at home. I struggled with sleeping away from home. But this year I've enjoyed travelling and changing routines hasn't been a bad thing, I've still been able to have my routines and do what I enjoy.

I have learnt more about myself as a person. What makes me feel good, what I don't like. What makes me stronger and what makes me weaker. What I like and dislike. What I need to improve on and what I need to learn to accept or change!

What things have you learnt in 2015?


  1. Hi!

    I wanted to ask something.In ny recovery I ate 3500-4000+ cals , and gained max. 1 kg/ week. Now, I am eating 2000-2300 cals, and maintain. Could I eat more and not gain? (I am 14, and i am exercising 4-6 days/week) I want to eat more. I am eating when i am hungry, but I feel limits sometimes

    1. I am sure you can eat more than that each day :) remember you ate growing and active and is important to eat eniugh. I eat roughly 3000+/-each day and I ate around 3500+/- in recovery wuth no exercise. Eat more and see how you feel :)

  2. lots of things ... but among them, that it is worth dreaming for what one would ideally long for, and then simply asking for it. Sometimes, it is there if you only ask. X.
    Also, that there are truly wonderful people who stay, and who are patient and forgiving and steadfast.
    Also, that there are some contexts where I need to be more careful about what I say. One never knows how one's words will affect people, and there are some risks worth taking, but sometimes I take very much the wrong risks, and/or write thoughtlessly.

    1. These are great and great things to have learnt. Especially about asking... Sometimes we are too afraid to ask for the things we want but sometimes that is all we need to do :) and also about context and what to say and when!

      I hope you have a great 2016 :)

  3. Things I learned in 2015:
    1. My recovery has to come first. If I don't have a solid program, I will end up losing everything. Again. Nothing is more important than my recovery, because if it's intact, I can have anything. Without it I will have nothing.

    2. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. There are literally zero situations that are improved by lying. Even when the truth causes discomfort, lying causes more. I feel best when I am 100% honest. There is a surprising amount of joy in knowing I am honest all the time, about everything, big and little. There is a lot of freedom in learning not to fear truth.

    3. I cannot solve internal problems with external solutions. A new shirt, a better run time, more money, tighter abs - none of that will make me happy or fill the void. What will make me whole is self-love, acceptance, gratitude, integrity, and meaningful relationships.

    4. Nipping a problem in the bud is infinitely easier than digging myself out of a hole. Know my red flags, the early signs of trouble. And do something about it instead of being ashamed or hoping it will pass.

    5. Ask for help. It is a sign of strength, not an admission of weakness! And the idea of doing it is far scarier than the actual doing it.

    6. Most things are scarier in thought than in action. I am actually stronger and more resilient than I think I am. There is very little that I flat-out can't handle. Take the risk, take it one step or one day at a time. Life is just life. Everything is neutral until I attach a feeling to it. A job interview is just a job interview (same goes for everything else - a phone call, an appointment, asking a question, a social event, owning up to a mistake, a test, whatever) - it only becomes scary when I decide it is scary. A few deep breaths and making the decision to just do the best I can do in that moment - that's infinitely easier than building it up into something terrifying or attaching all kinds of loaded emotion to it.

    7. This too shall pass. Whether its good or bad, easy or difficult - everything will pass. Nothing is permanent. If I feel bad, I won't feel bad forever. I just need to accept that this is one of those yucky moments in my life, and if I'm up to it I need to look for the solutions to help me get over it. If not, I can practice "distress tolerance" - knowing that feeling bad doesn't mean anything except that I feel bad. Sometimes life feels bad. And that's okay, I'm not going to die and the world isn't going to end. I simply feel bad. And someday I will feel good again. I will feel better sooner if I seek solutions. And I will feel bad someday again. Life is a series of waves, some good and some bad, neither permanent or more important than the other. I can tolerate the bad feelings, and I am capable of surviving them. I can enjoy the good feelings, and feel gratitude when they come, knowing they aren't forever either.

    Phew!! 2015 was a good year for me, one of major personal growth. I have a level of peace today that I never thought possible. Thanks for asking your readers this, Izzy, its great to read everyone's stuff.

    1. I am so glad you shared all of this!! <3 and great lessons/things to learn in life!! :)