Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, January 25, 2016

Starting Monday with positive thoughts - focus on a healthy and functioning body

Good morning :)

Its Monday and a new week! And this morning i am starting off with some positive thoughts.... well some thougts i had yesterday evening infact.

You know those times when you lie or sit in a strange way and then a part of your body goes numb.... well first off i sat really weirdly while blogging and so when i finally got up my legs had gone numb and i just had to sit on the side of my bed and wait for my legs to feel normal again, and be able to put weight on them. And then i thought, wow.... think if something happened and i could never use my legs again. How awful it would be, ive always said that if something happened to my legs or feet it would be one of the worst things (and yes i know, there are worse things in life. But if i were never able to walk or move again, it would definitely be a pretty horrbile situation).

And then later on i had been lying strangely while watching series and then when i was going to get up my whole right arm had gone numh, and i was incapable of moving the muscles in my hand and wasnt able to life my arm at all..... and it was then i thought. I am so happy over having a functioning body.  Because that is what matter.... a healthy and functioning body.

There are people who cant move or walk, people who dont even have legs or arms and people in wheelchairs and such, and i know you shouldnt compare yourself or think "well people have it worse, so my situation isnt so bad", but at the same time i think people need some perspective.

In western society everyone (ok, not everyone, that is a generalisation.). But many are unhappy with their body and just want it slimmer, want it to look a certain way and would do everything to look a certain way. And at times even damaging their body.

Because extreme diets, laxative abuse, dieuretic pills, fat burners, excessive exercise, binging, purging... all of those affect your body alot and not to mention the negative impact on your mental health. But many weird pills and compensation methods affect your body in many negative ways. And not to mention all the negative conseuqences different eating disorders have on your body..... your bones, muscles, organs, hair, skin, nails, fertility etc  All to look a certain way.

But in the end, what good will achieving your dream body do if you have pains from too much exercise, or cant even do stuff because you have no energy due to not eating. Or you end up developing binge eating disorder or begin purging due to being too restrictive.

What good will having the dream body do if you end up injured and unable to move. Also, if you look a certain way´just from unhealthy habits, then what will happen if you stop with those or are forced to stop..... then your body might not be attainable anymore, meaning it wasnt a healthy body for you anyway.

This morning and this week i want you to appreciate your body, or atleast try that little bit harder to work towards a healthy and happy body. A body that has energy, that functions as best possible and a body that you can live in for many years. Its ok to care about your appearance, and everyone has certain body images they prefer but i think it is super important to just be happy with your body. Sure, some changes can bring about self confidence and that is great, but true self love comes from the inside. And you should appreciate what you have now.

For me personally, i love being strong and feeling strong that is a change i love that i have made. But when i suddenly couldnt lift my arm due to the numbness i thought, "wow imagine if this was forever and i could never feel that sense of strong again".... there were no thoughts of, "if this were forever then my muscles would fade or i couldnt have visible muscles etc". It was the thought of, i couldnt do something i enjoyed if suddenly i couldnt move my arms or my legs.... and i think that shows alot. Because if my first thought when my legs were numb and i couldnt move them was "oh no, i cant eat the same, or, how will i burn calories" then that would be a kind of obvious sign - for myself - if i had an unhealthy relationship.

Today, appreciate your body. Focus on a healthy and functioning body, that is the important thing. That your body lasts, that you can live in your body until you are 80 or older. Aesthetics will fade, but if you take care of your body so it is healthy and strong then it will last and life will be so much easier when you dont have 100 problems just because you treated your body so badly when you were younger.


  1. I had a quite similar experience this morning: as it was so slippery I slipped and fell on my rump and/or butt... I was kind of paralysed as the only thing I could think of was if my bones were broken (I have osteporosis). It hurts very much but this has shown me how important it is to fight for your health because what would happen if i hab a severe accident and wouldn't be able to move at all? If I couldn't do all the things i want and love and need to do anymore? Really, being healthy is far more important than things like appearance.

    1. I hope you havent injured yourself or that you dont have any pain now :) And very true, health is far more important than appearance!!