There are so many things I wish I could write on here. So many things I wish I could share, but because of who may read my blog I can't. .... so instead I keep those thoughts to myself. Try to find ways to solve those problems or to not let them bother me.... but there are other things on my mind which I atleast can share on here :)
First off, thank you to everyone who writes to me and says I am an inspiration or says that they find my blog helpful. It means so much to me, but even to those who just write and say that they are here for me. It means so much to me. I am awful at replying, so I apologize for that but know that I read your messages and they mean alot to me :) I know my blogging and emailing hasn't been so great and I feel far from an inspiration, but I know there are posts in the past which might be helpful!
At the moment I am missing my free time. ... I miss going for walks. I miss having time for long gym sessions. I miss going to the food store and just wandering around, taking my time. I miss not feeling pressed or on a time schedule. I miss not having anything to do (well I always have things to do... but now it's a pressure and a must, more than a choice... though I guess it's still a choice).
I not ready for school tomorrow... I want a day off. But that will have to wait until Sunday. I am moving on Saturday and Sunday I have promised myself - a long gym session at my new gym, walking around the town and figuring out where things are, then some study and then an evening with series. And on Tuesday next week I begin a little later I think, so then a long morning walk hopefully! I miss nature and long walks so much.... :(
I am excited and nervous to move. So many thoughts I can't even write them all out. ....
Also, thoughts about autumn. My mum tells me I stress too much, and about things in the future and should instead focus on the now. But one of the worst things is the unknown. ... the waiting. I just want to know now... hahah. But it feels strange but I am already looking forward to applying to a new university in Gothenburg and hopefully get in there..... or I'll continue studying at my current university but then I won't be done studying until 2020 (just to get a legitimate ) and that means that I get accepted spring 2017.... and this uncertainty is stressing me.... so need to figure that out. There is no point worrying or stressing about something that is 6 -12 months away... I have my course to focus on now. I love learning new things, but I've always been someone who just wants to skip all of the school thing and get into doing what I want.... why must it take so long? Though I need to remind myself I'm still young... I mean people are 30/40 and begin studying again as they want a career change.
Everything happens for a reason. And what is meant to happen will happen. That is what I need to remind myself... things don't always go as planned. That's ok!!!
I feel I need this reminder atleast daily at the moment, hahaha.
Anyway, at the moment it's almost 11pm and it seems to be a restless household tonight. No one seems to be able to sleep and I am super awake... I've tossed and turned for the past hour. To warm and the bed is uncomfortable, not to mention that my stomach is hurting so that feels uncomfortable. ....
Also random thought... now whenever I eat I think about what happens in my body. How the food breaks down, what enzymes are used to break down the macronutrient. What happens, when and why... the different words for all the different happenings. It's so interesting actually, before I just ate.... but now I'm like, my body is breaking down the carbohydrates and in my stomach the food is mixing with the different chemicals, acid, saliva etc etc haha, feeling nerdy in this subject at the moment. Just need to get more nerdy wuth chemistry and begin thinking in atoms and molecules and all that again. .... begin seeing items as atoms and molecules and how water changes at different temperatur and such and apply that to food and the body! !
Too much writing, it definitely won't make sleeping any easier. But I thought why not, I can't sleep anyway. All I'm hoping now is that I wake up when the alarm rings... otherwise I will miss important lectures :( :(