Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Thursday, January 7, 2016

Life update - room searching, hospital appointments, lack of sleep and increase of anxiety

Hello there *insert smiley and wave emoticon*  ^-^

Time for an update on life... I always plan to write posts and mention certain things but then I just sort of forget. Or well I mentally write the post  but not physically. ..

So first off, yesterday I went to look at a room in an apartment and it was a really nice apartment, the 4 others living there were super friendly and nice as well and it seemed like my chances of getting the room were high. Though there was quite a high competition for that room and many who were going to look at it, so I was informed today that I didn't get the room. And I'm not going to let that bother me, though I guess I did think I had quite a high chance of getting to live there.... but that's life and it's just to keep searching. One thing I wonder though is what made them not want me (hahah, sounds like I have a self esteem of 200 and think I'm perfect.  That's not the case). But I'm wondering whether it was 1) they didn't think we were compatible or they didn't like me 2) maybe they thought I would only love there 6 months because that's how long my course is 3) maybe they googled me, found my blog and didn't like that or 4) and I'm guessing this is the most probable reason, someone else needed rhe room more desperately than me or they were more compatible with one of the other people searching. I'm guessing that's the cause, but I can't quite get the idea out of my mind that if you Google my name my blog comes up.... and maybe that will put people off from having me rent a room/live in their house? I don't know... it shouldn't be a factor,  but who knows.

Anyway, that was that. I'll just keep searching for rooms or apartments!

Last night was a long sleepless night. So much anxiety about everything and couldn't sleep at all, so my total sleep for the night was about 1 hour and then I woke at 5.30 and eventually decided to take daisy for a walk as I wasn't able to get back to sleep. Then I got ready, ate breakfast and headed to the hospital with my mum.

As I sat in the waiting room I felt how I was going to panic, I didn't want to be there and it didn't help when I got a paper note with all my information and stating I was going to be an inpatient and have IV treatment for 10+days.  Then I was ready to walk out of there.  But after some tests and meeting a doctor, a new doctor, we talked and as the tests showed improvement from last time and because I am going to start university and not be in Stockholm i was allowed to avoid iv antibiotics and instead back on oral medication and if my health doesn't keep improving then I might have to have the iv treatment during summer or spring/easter break.
   So I was atleast able to leave there wuth a smile, somewhat!! And more motivation to keep running as that has helped my lungs alot it seems. Though of course I feel how hard it is to breathe the past while.... like having a belt around my lungs and often while lying down I can't breathe properly and need to sit up or stand up to be able to breathe. .... its tough, haha.

After the hospital appointment I headed home, wanted to go to the gym but I knew it would be silly after so little sleep.  So instead made myself pancakes with chocolate and nuts, took a long bath and read, watched some series and then fell asleep with my heating blanket keeping me warm!! It's super cold in Sweden at the moment and when you're out for long if you have any "water" it will frost, such as parts of my hair had begun to frost after I had been outside this morning and the tips of my fingers burn from being so cold! !!

And finally, after this already long post. There is lots of stress and things to do. Papers to send in, people to call, money to try to round up, bills to be paid, things to be bought etx etc so that means that not alot of time is going to my blog or answering emails. Alot of other things to worry about at the moment so to say, so emails aren't a priority which I apologise for as my inbox is overflowing with emails from you all at the moment. And I do wish I could help you all, though that would require more than 24 hours in a day and more mental energy than I have at the moment. So hopefully you understand and can leave comments or find advice on my blog :)


15 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this update, Izzy. Have been wondering about the hospital etc ... and am glad that things are getting gradually better with cf at any rate and that the doctors are considerate and work with you for the best for the other bits of life. Don't worry about the flat ... I've had similar things and it's been clear that it was your 4), where it's really just very much down to chance. Good luck, and I do hope that your breathing continues to get easier. Sleep well tonight!

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    1. Thank you :) I'm sure I'll find a room or apartment some time! Everything happens for a reason I guess :)

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  2. Hey Izzy :) I'm glad the Hospital day went well and that your Body is healing!
    Don't be sad because of the flat ... it's really difficult to find something in University cities! Many People only want someone who already lived alone or with other students ... People in the first year often have a lot of Problems! But it's good you started searching early. I'm sure you'll find something.
    Have a nice evening ♥
    Anna

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    1. I'm not too disappointed as I knew there was a high competition and they went for the person most suited or most needed rhe room. I'm sure I'll find another room or apartment which will be even better :) sooner or later I'll find something I'm hoping!

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  3. I’m sorry about the room. You;ll find something even more perfect! I’m sure of it!

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    1. Thank you :) and you're definitely right!

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  4. I really hope you'll find a room soon! Good luck <3
    otherwise, you could just be a professional pancake maker and make people pancakes for a living!! I would pay you for that, haha.

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    1. Thank you!! Hahha, if the course doesn't go as planned then I'll just start making and selling pancakes and waffles ^-^ haha

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  5. Good luck with your room searching and your course! :D Xx

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  6. Aw sweetie, I'm sorry about the room! Good luck with your search!
    But listen, I'm absolutely sure the reason you didn't get the room wasn't personal. I absolutely think that number 4, or number 2 are the most likely reasons. Either way, there's no point in worrying yourself about it...fact is, you didn't get it so just keep searching :-) x

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    1. I'm not so disappointed by the room as there are others and I'm sure it wasn't anything personal, just that someone else was better suited! It's just to keep searching :)

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  7. Hi Izzy! Great news from the hospital, I'm so pleased for you. About the apartment - in my lengthy experience of renting, my two cents on what happened is that most likely, someone who they already knew ended up wanting the room (like jobs, renting often comes down to who you know), OR if there was a lot of competition for the space, someone offered more money. Either way, it's not personal. I've lost out on many places (particularly in cities where housing is competitive) and you just have to shake it off and keep looking. You will find something, try not to internalize it or see it as a rejection. It doesn't mean you weren't great, it just means someone else was a better fit for them (ie they had a personal connection or could pay more money - or any of the examples given previously). Keep truckin!

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    1. You are definitely right. I'm not to upset about the apartment as I'm sure sooner or later I'll find one and I'm sure it wasn't personal,but because they found someone else who was more appropriate or a better connection and that's fine by me! All I can do is keep searching :)

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  8. Hmm... I don't think it's because of your blog. Because if they found it they would probably see it as a benefit. Having a successful social media is almost as an extracurricular activity these days :)

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