A few days ago I read a post on a girls Instagram account
where she wrote about her new years eve.How she regretted checking social media
on New Years eve because all she saw was
people happy faces, and champagne and party, family and food. Everyone seemed
to be having such a good time, and for the 10th year in a row she
was at home on her own. Not that she didn’t want ot celebrate new years eve with
friends, but that she didn’t have so many friends. She had pushed them away
during all her years as sick, and she regretted it, but most of all she
regretted how social media was making her feel so awful and so lonely.
And you know what, I have been there before and I am sure
some of my readers might recognize that…. Checking in on social media, seeing
everyone else so happy and doing fun things and you are stuck at home and
wondering what you are doing with your life. During New Years even 2013 I was
going to celebrate with a friend but the plans changed and I ended up being at
home on my own during the 00.00 as my parents were away and my sister was with
friends. And I remember checking Instagram and facebook and thinking, I hate
this. This is not how it should be. I felt so incredibly lonely and felt like
life wasn’t really worth it….. I compared my life to others… but most
importantly, I compared my life to peoples online life. The online life doesn’t
show the whole deal… I mean how many people write about or post photos when they
are just lying in bed and watching Netflix for 10 hours straight or when they
have spent a week doing absolutely nothing. Nobody writes or shares those
things, they share their highlights. For example, a while ago I checked in on
my friends from high school Instagram and saw all their highlights and thought,
what am I doing with my life…. Why is my life not exciting, what do I have to
share? But you know what, when I have talked to my friends in person, they saw
the same thing…. That their lives are so boring. They barely do anything and
then they see everyone else doing such exciting things. It is because we want
to portray ourselves as doing so much, having such an exciting life… and there
is nothing wrong with that. I mean we cant blame the people who post things, we
just need to realise that there is more than just a photo. (And lets not forget
that the “famous” Instagram accounts often have a sort of “fake” online life
where everything is so perfect and things are sponsored and such. But also they
take 150 photos just to get one good one… there life is based on social media
and they need to portray themselves in a certain way. Its not real life).
But I also thought about the fact that maybe my blog does
the same thing to some…. But I don’t want you to ever compare your life to
mine. Granted my life isn’t so exciting and there isn’t so much to share. But I
don’t want you to feel bad if you don’t have a lot of friends or you don’t do
anything exciting for birthdays, Christmases or new years. If all you do on
weekends is watch films and series. You shouldn’t compare your life to anyone
elses, and especially not what people post online. Because even if I am honest
about the times when I spend hours straight watching series, I do mostly post
about the highlights and post the “good” pictures mostly. But there is so much
more in my life than I post about and many don’t realise that.
Its ok to have few friends, it is ok to not celebrate
certain occasions, it is ok to not want to go out and party. Everyone is different
and has different likes and interests. One thing to think about though is that
if you have pushed friends and family away due to different reasons, it can be
good for your own mental health to try to take contact with friends again or
start some type of hobby or group which makes you socialise. Because a life
without a social life or no friends isn’t a very happy life. A healthy life
does include a social life and having a healthy and happy social life. So
trying to make friends can be a good
idea and then you don’t feel as lonely.
Thank you so much, Izzy. This post really helped me. <3 <3
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteVery true! One of the reasons I avoid social media... I deleted all of my social media accounts (apart from Facebook, but I barely use that) over a year ago, and since then I have been so much happier! Thank you for this post xxx
ReplyDeleteI think its great that you have been able to distance yourself from social media!! I definitely think it can make people happier, especially if they compare themselves with others easily, then taking a break from social media and just focusing on their own life can make a difference to their happiness!
DeleteI`ve made a few steps using social media - facebook - to try to build bridges with my family who for personal reasons I haven't had contact with for a number of years. Over Christmas I found my sister on there and she sent me a friend request which I accepted and I sent one in return, along with a short message. I haven't heard anything back from her as yet but I suppose this is a start. I also found my Aunty on there, and an old friend of mine. I have yet to hear anything back from any of them them but I keep consoling myself that I have made the first move and that is important in the long run, but also i can`t help thinking they don`t want contact with me and I've made a fool of myself. So at the moment social media is rather a mixed blessing for me.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome that you have taken those steps! Exactly, social media is what yiu make it... for me it's all positive as I don't let it affect me negatively and don't follow accounts that affect me negatively. So if you make it positive and use it in the right ways then it can be great. Whatever happens, happens. If they don't contact yiu back, atleast you tried. I've lost friends who I have tried to contact again but they never replied, and well then I know I've tried and there is no point if they don't want to contact me back.
DeleteThat's very true. At least I can say I`ve tried and the blame for not having contact doesn't all lay with me.
ReplyDelete