Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, January 15, 2016

Exercise should not be the only thing in your life and not the only reason to recover

“Lifting weights and exercising made me recover from my eating disorder.”

Okay, so let’s say that you wake up tomorrow and you find out that you have an  illness or injury that prevents you from doing any form of physical activity. How are you going to cope? Are you going to be able to feed yourself without restricting to “make up” for not exercising? Will you still be able to love your body if you are not able to aesthetically alter it? Will you still be able to love yourself without exercise being your most meaningful identity?

Source X

I didn't  write the above but it's pretty much what I believe in. Sure exercise is great, it's fine to enjoy it but I don't think you can exercise yourself to recovery. exercise can not be the only reason to recover either... sure I had being able to run again as a reason and motivation to recover, but my huge goal for recovery was to have my life back. To be able to go to school, have friends, have a normal life. That was my main recovery goal, and then of course being allowed to do something I love again was just a benefit.

Exercise should be something you get into/get back into when both your mind and body are healthy. I have made mistakes with exercise, done too much, damaged my body, stressed my body enormously and I identified myself as the "fit and exercise girl". But I am more than that. ... it became a stressor when I thought " I have to workout because that's what people expect me to", for example if my sister made comments such as "oh you're not working out today?" On my rest days and I would feel guilty then. But I realised that exercise is something for me... its not my identity and not the only thing in my life. I bake and cook, I blog and write,  I take photos, I do research and read books... those are all things I enjoy doing that aren't exercise related.

Of course I don't deny that if I were to suddenly not be allowed to exercise any more it would affect me somewhat negatively mentally as it is a form of therapy and a happiness for me. But I would cope, I wouldn't stop eating or panic. Though it would take a while to find a new balance and to have something which is a huge part of my life taken away, but I know that exercise is not my identity and I could cope without it.

But can you say the same thing?

If yiu exercise, question your relationship with exercise. Why you do it? Can you take a week or two off? Can you rest when you are injured? Would you cope if you were injured and not allowed to exercise?


  1. I don`t exercise like go to the gym or anything but I do go out for a 20 - 30 minute walk every morning. It refreshes me and i enjoy it. I`m not sure if I have a problem with it, may be I do because igo out whatever the weather when I know that most people would stay indoors. I go because I feel the need to do something other than my usual jobs in the morning and rest in the afternoons (my doctor and dietician said I had to bedrest every afternoon) so my mornings are busy doing stuff then its rest in the afternoons. Somedays I feel as though I am turning into a vegetable which is daft because come the afternoon I haven't the energy to do anything anyway. It did cross my mind to get a fitness dvd I could do at home but I guess this isn't a good idea until I`m recovered? Before my ed I used to go to aerobics which I really enjoyed and sometimes I think it would be nice to do it again. As for the walking I even went when my ankles were swollen and painful, shorter distance and with aid of a crutch because I couldn't bear to sit at home. So maybe it is a problem. But if I didn't do that I wouldn't be doing anything and that would be awful. Before my ed I was active. Surely a little exercise like a walk can`t do any harm? You`ve got me thinking now.

  2. I like this post. There are lots of ways to have unhelpful senses of identity, not only this one, and it is a good reminder to free onself of others' expectations, and our own, when they are unhelpful, so as to accept the gifts that lie before us for the taking!

  3. Hi! Could you do a post about MyFitnesspal? Because this has been messing me and my mind up alot and I think I'm not the only one struggling with this app.. I finally got the courage to delete it and hopefully won't redownload it as I did quite a few times already. Loves

  4. Hi Izzy!! I have gained 5 kgs since I first started recovery.recently I relapsed, ate 800-1000 calories the whole week. Today, i went for a bike ride,came home, ravenously hungry, ate lunch and binged on nuts and chocolate.Can you tell me how i can prevent relapsing again? I'm kind of recovered since my doctor allowed me to exercise. can you tell me on average how much should I be eating?