Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Can you have a healthy relationship with food after an eating disorder?

I personally believe,  and from experience, know that you CAN have a healthy relationship with food after an eating  disorder. But it takes time and effort... to mend that broken relationship you have with food. The calories and knowledge of calories and macros doesn't go away, but you make them non triggers. That a 1500 kcal meal or a 300 kcal meal doesn't matter, it's food none the less. the knowledge that you ate a meal consisting of mostly carbs doesn't bother you and it doesn't bother you of you choose to eat a burger instead of a salad.

You learn to see food as food. As energy and a necessity, not something triggering or something that should make you feel guilty. Food isn't black or white or all or nothing. It's not good or bad either or healthy or unhealthy. Because it's just the amount you eat that makes food "healthy" or "unhealthy " or "good" or "bad".

After an eating disorder you need to take away the anxiety from food and not let food control you or have power of you. Food should be part of life but not your whole life. You shouldn't spend all day thinking about food but you shouldn't forget to eat either. It is possible to have a healthy relationship with food after an eating disorder but it will never be like someone who hasn't had any eating disorder.  Because in some sense you are more aware about food and the content of food and the nutritional value of food. But also you make sure go eat your meals and feed your body right,  compared to someone who has never had an eating disorder and doesn't eat regular meals and thinks absaloutly 0 about food, only when they are hungry. After an eating disorder you take care of your body and feed it right but can also have a healthier relationship to food than people who have never had an eating disorder because you allow yourself balance and know balance is key. You don't feel guilty over eating certain foods while some people who have never had an eating disorder can feel guilty over eating certain food.
Not following fad diets or getting stuck in counting calories or macros.

If you do find balance and health - find what works for you with eating and let food be an enjoyment and part of life, but not your whole life. Treating the body right and sometimes that means eating a whole Ben and jerrys (with no guilt!).

A healthy relationship is possible and that means working with your thoughts and how you view and think about food and knowing what is best for your body.


  1. Hey Izzy! This question is not really related to this post but do you think exercising 6x a week for 1h30 is too much? When is exercising tou much according to you? Love you x

    1. It is very inidivudal how much is too much. If you eat eniugh and have the energy for that amount then it's fine. But if ypu feel mentally and physically tired or don't eat eniugh then I would recommend doing less. It also depends what type of workout you do... I mean if ypu strength train and do different muscle groups then 6 days a week usually works well but if ypu do full body workouts or lots of cardio then 6 days is often too much. Recommended is 3-5 day sand 2 rest days for best results and energy :) but if you do workout 6 times a week,then take a rest week every 6-8 weeks so your body can fully recover. Make sure to eat eniugh and rest enough! !

    2. Also remember that 90 minutes 6 days a week is classified as alot of exercise.

    3. Thank you so much for responding! I was kinda scared to send you an email because I have emailed you alot (well on my side of view) and I didn't feel like bothering you.. (it's Chloe btw, if you migth remember). Well I exercice 5 to 6 times a weeks and do cardio and weights everyday for a bit more than 1h30.. I do know it's very dangerous I try to restrain it because it became a habit and than and obsession (as I read in one of your old post). Anyway thanks you for responding anyway and I will remind myself what you've said! X

  2. I love the look so happy! It's so inspiring to see :-) You've worked so hard, you should be so proud! :-)

    I think, in a way, everyone has their own "issues" or "hang ups" with certain foods. It's unrealistic to think that we could NEVER feel guilty again for eating certain food, because even people without history of EDs sometimes feel guilty about food...but I think it's about being able to get over that and see past it...not let that one cookie/meal/whatever bother you for days/weeks/'s about allowing ourselves treats & healthy balance and feeling comfortable & confidant with it.

    I think maybe we have this unrealistic goal of "perfection" that just isn't really achievable, and what we really need to focus on is our own happiness, "content-ness" and ability to lead a recovery-focused, full life! It's about not over-thinking it, and just going with the flow I reckon?!


    1. Exactly :) there is no perfect, but it is possible to feel guilt free from food. And if you've had an ed and fought yourself fully free, then it's like you are almost healthier than people who haven't had an ed as you are more accepting of balance and know that all food is ok in different amounts. Though that's just my opinion. .. I don't think believing that you will always feel some sort of guilt is good, because you shouldn't feel guilt for any type of food... even if some "normal" people might. It is possible to be free from that :)

  3. Hi!

    I have a question about the food and exercise after recovery. Last week I ate less because of the Christmas overeating, and I was just not hungry, and A week ago I was 1,5 kgs heavier than today.(at the same time) It means I lost, at least a half kg, but i think more.(because of the 1,5 kg a half kg could be water, but a I think not more) I ate 1500-1800 cals last week, and I was exercising 5 times. (4 cardio,1 and a little bit strengh training)
    It means i need more food. I am a runner in a club, and I am running at least 4 times (about 8-10 K each time), so I think I need more. But what do you think, how much I need? How much I need to eat when I dont have hunger feelings, or these feelings are more rarely than the normal? Or I need to try to experiment? (Inxrase a little bit, and check how I feel and that have I gained, incrase more, check how I feel+weight, incrase, check etc. or something?)
    And how much are the incrases need to be?
    And I am little bit feeling guilty after I am eating more, about 2500 cals, because it is out of my comfort zone, and I just feel I can't do that. Do I need to try them, what do you think?
    And in ny country the kvarg,Ben and Jerrys, some protein shakes and powders and other things are not avaible. Do you know national websites where I could assigne them?
    And the last thing, but not by the way(:D) :
    I like you how you are. You are a great person, and I really want to know you. You are my no.1 motivation for the recovery, and for eating more, and you are perfect in my opinion. You are the balance itself, in eating and in your workouts to. Maybe a loads said it to you, but I want to tell you how much you helped me in my recovery, changing my bad habits for healthy ones, stepping out from my comfort zone. Your blog is perfect, so I a check it in every hour:)
    And thanks for the what i eats,i was the anonym who asked them about a month ago(?)
    These posts helps me a lot, ti accapt that everyone is different,and needs different amounts, and I can eat a lot and be super beautiful.
    I wanted to share my thoughts with you, I hope you will get better with depression and stress:)
    We will always love you!

    1. Eating 1500-1800 and running that much is definitely too little food. I would aim to increase to about 2200 and then 2500 and possible 2800+ remember that you are active and what you are eating isn't enough if you have lost weight. Even if you aren't hungry you still need to eat. Think about your running, how are you supposed to perform or have the energy to run if you don't eat enough? The brain uses about 800 kcal a day just to function and the body needs around 1300-1500 just to keep you alive... and then add in exercise/just living life and ypu need about 2500 and then to gained weight add 500, so 3000kcal. It might be scary but your body needs food and energy, if you don't increase I wouldn't exercise as you are just stressing your body then. Even if you aren't hungry, eat regular meals this will benefit you. And don't feel guilty for eating, your body needs food. Even if you don't workout you still need to eat the same amount and to eat eniugh - don't decrease on the days you don't workout. Instead fight the voice in your head that says you shouldn't eat. Feed your body properly and also gained the weight you need to, this will make your body and mind healthier and function better. Don't let you ed control you, do the opposite of what you ed tells you.

      And thank you, I am glad that you like my blog and I can help :)

  4. Hey, Izzy. I feel like nobody understands me these days. I am constantly afraif of food, sometimes I hear voices in my head and I want to scream, because they destroy me. I eat like 900- 1000 calories per day, but i workout 6 days a week for like 2/3 hours. I stare at the mirror all the time, hating what I see, wanting to take a knife and cut what I dont like. I really dont know if im sick, because all the time I feel normal, i think this is normal. But sometimes im so scared from myself, from my bones. Izzy, I dont know what to do. Am i sick or just trying to get attention?Maybe there is nothing wrong with me..

    1. I'm not Izzy, but this is definitely illness. Please open up and get help, including professional medical help. With love and concern X

    2. I think the fact that you are on my website shows that you know something isn't right. And from what yiu wrote that sounds like an illness (eating disorder ) and I recommend d professional help and also talking to family and friends who can help you.