Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: email@example.com
Saturday, December 5, 2015
When people's comments get stuck in your head
One thing which I wish I was better at is not getting caught up in small comments I've heard people say or ones I've read about. It is often small unconscious things people have said about me, which haven't been meant as something bad or they were said in a joking way, but it is those that get stuck in my head. At times I have asked people how I appear to them or what they think about me, and maybe I am to blame then when I hear their answer and it might not be something I was prepared for. Or sometimes people say something in a joking way about me but I don't take the comment in a joking way and instead it spins around in my head and does affect me.
I am not someone who cares so much what people think about my appearance or how I act in general. I know about my bad habits and at times I can be sarcastic or appear rude or uninterested, but the uninterestedness and being withdrawn is due to me feeling low and not usually how I am, but also being an introvert I amnt as open and wanting attention. But anyway,I know about some things I could change to be maybe more approachable or just nicer in general (though I would consider myself a nice person, haha). But sometimes comments get to me and I wish they didn't. I wish I didn't care or could remove that comment from my mind. But most of all I just want to go up to the person and ask them what they mean and if they actually meant what they said or whether my mind is just making a big deal out of nothing. But more than ever, when certain comments get stuck in my head I just want to disappear. I never want to show myself again, never speak, never leave the house.
I feel embarrassed over myself, over how I act and wish I was someone else, someone different, just based on a comment or two which someone could have said without thinking. I do have low self esteem, though definitely not as bad as it has been before. I have worked alot on my self esteem and to feel more secure and have more self confidence but at times that confidence let's me down and I feel like a sponge which sucks in all negative comments ever said about me and I just want to drown in the negativity. It's strange that how one or two negative comments can affect a person so much more than the 20 positive comments. It's always the negatives that stick in your head.
But this is a goal for 2016, to not let negative comments (and I don't mean blog comments because I distance myself from online comments and don't let them affect me negatively. But I mean comments from family and friends) affect me. I should instead focus on the positives I receive and hear and not let that one negative comment bring me down and feel like a terrible person. We all have flaws and things which might not be so great about us, but we all have awesome things about us as well and we need to focus on those, and if we want, change the less positive aspects but if you don't have a problem with them, why change?
This post is just a ramble,but at the moment I have a few negative comments which are swirling around in my head and making me feel awful and I'm trying to not let them affect me so much and not feel like a terrible person who should never leave the house.