Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Weird things I did when I was sick
I am hoping that this post won't be so triggering and I am by no means trying to make a joke of an eating disorder, but more.... looking back on my past and finding some of the things I did comical because I was not thinking rationally or clearly. At the time it made sense but looking back now I just thinks it's strange and somewhat comical.
For all my meals at Mando i aäwas supposed to have 3dl juice I. E one full glass, and most other patients had the same. I.e juice or milk with their meals. However when I walked to the table with my food on a "board" I would spill my juice so by the time I sat down I would have 60% juice in the glass left.... and yes; the staff always realised but yet I kept doing it, as if I was fooling anyone. It reached a point where I wasn't even allowed napkins with my meals because I tried to hide and spill food all the time.
One meal when I was eating pasta and something I didn't have a staff sit beside or around me so I kept knocking pasta off my plate so it ended up on the tray. .... so i ended up with a whole load of pasta on my tray and when I was going to get up and leave (bring my tray back to the kitchen.... and somehow get rid of the pasta), I had my case manager come in. Notice all the pasta on my tray and make me eat it XD
My sister asked me to watch a YouTube clip wit her (which most likely wasn't more than than 3-5 minutes). But I refused to sit down to watch it (sitting scared me so much so I couldn't even sit to watch a short YT clip) and we got into a huge argument and didn't speak for days just because I wouldn't sit for 3 minutes.
I said that I was allergic to egg just to avoid eating certain foods and sauces. .. I did get stomach pains
but it was most probably placebo and that I so badly wanted to be allergic or intolerant to all foods that scared me. So I had to get tests done to check and nope... I was not allergic or intolerant, and suddenly I no longer got pain XD haha. And I'm glad that im not intolerant to eggs.
I used to wear a corcett (not sure how you spell it? XD) because I thought I was so fat and tried to keep everything "in" even if all I wore was loose dresses with tights.