Recovery is....

Recovery is figuring out which parts of you to save and which parts to let go. Brushing out all of that dead hair and 
sweeping it into the trash.
Recovery is knowing that even though you don’t want to eat, your body will thank you later and
so will your mind. 
That when you’re feeling faint, it’s time for a snack.
That the nausea is all in your head
that your stomach is, in fact,
actually bigger than your eyes.

Recovery is making new friends for the ones you drove away, the ones that fell away, but
apologizing to the old one’s with no intent of ever winning them back.
Recovery is knowing that not every day can have a point
and you shouldn’t fill the lacking minutes with hunger. That
starvation = anxiety and anxiety = starvation.
That there will always be someone thinner than you.
That fat, skinny, average, healthy, are all just adjectives.
That sometimes you slip up and sometimes that slip up goes on a little too long. 

Recovery is remembering that you have a disorder that you are not a disorder.
That disorders can fade, wounds can heal, and scars will never be beautiful.
That you’ll never forget all of the acronyms but you can forget how they feel on your skin
in your throat
on your taste buds.

Recovery is learning how to feel without fear.

Recovery is rebuilding the bridges you burned by
climbing down into the deepest crevasse and building supports for that bridge.
Recovery is taking that bridge kicking and screaming, walking across, running back the other way. 

Recovery is not easy. In fact, it’s a lot harder than dying and
that’s why it’s worth it.

Recovery is a state of being.

—	I was asked to write about recovery by nc bradford (via http://fauxbeat.tumblr.com