It's hard to explain the feeling when you leave the test room of a test you have been dreading. A test which has caused alot of anxiety and stress. A test which you have sat and worked on for 4,5 hours. Alot of "what the fucks ", "i don't want to" "what is this" "why don't I remember how to do this" "wow I'm smart, I got this." "Damn i am not going to pass" and repeat, was rhe stream of thoughts in my head.
At times it felt easy and I knew what I was doing but in after hand I really don't know if I have passed. It is quite a high amount of points needed just for E and I am hoping I reached that amount anyway. The bare minimum I need is an E anyway. But i've done what I could. .. somethings j didn't know and hopefully it won't cause too much problems.
Anyway, when I left the test room I didn't know how to feel. Happy, sad, relieved? What do I do with my life now? I actually for once have freetime but feel so mentally drained. Like I want to go for a run and just smile but at the same time lie in my bed and cry. ... its hard to explain the feeling after a test. Stress and anxiety leaves the body, relief and tiredness hits and feeling both happy and sad.
Oh well... I just need to remind myself what is done is done. Now the course is over and either I need to redo the test sometime or I've passed and km hoping for the latter.
To celebrate that the test is done, I have worked my way through this express (!) Course and I've gotten into university, I bought donuts (not just for me.). I used to love donuts, I could eat 3 at a time as an after school snack. It didn't happen often as we were only allowed those types of food on Fridays or Saturdays. But sometimes on a Friday evening when we had a 2 hour drive to my dad's place I would buy myself 2-3 donuts. And I've wanted donuts for a while but never bought any... really I wanted to go to Dunkin donuts and buy them but I didn't have the energy for that so instead I bought them in a store.
So.... my first donut in almost 8 years? It was actually really yummy, the white one anyway (I took a bite of the pink one and the chocolate one) but the white one (i.e on top white) was the best. 1 of those and I was satisfied! ! I'm not such a fan of store bought cakes or buns but at times they are ok, and it was ok this time! But I do want to try making my own donuts, just to try and they might be delicious as well!!) :)
For now, it's rest and lots of food and lots and lots of vitamins because my lungs are burning from coughing and j can't hear anything due to blocked ears, haha. But no sore throat anyway ;)