Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Maths test over and first donut in 7 years!

It's hard to explain the feeling when you leave the test room of a test you have been dreading.  A test which has caused alot of anxiety and stress. A test which you have sat and worked on for 4,5 hours. Alot of "what the fucks ", "i don't want to" "what is this" "why don't I remember how to do this" "wow I'm smart, I got this." "Damn i am not going to pass" and repeat, was rhe stream of thoughts in my head.

At times it felt easy and I knew what I was doing but in after hand I really don't know if I have passed. It is quite a high amount of points needed just for E and I am hoping I reached that amount anyway. The bare minimum I need is an E anyway. But i've done what I could. .. somethings j didn't know and hopefully it won't cause too much problems.

Anyway, when I left the test room I didn't know how to feel. Happy, sad, relieved? What do I do with my life now? I actually for once have freetime but feel so mentally drained. Like I want to go for a run and just smile but at the same time lie in my bed and cry. ... its hard to explain the feeling after a test. Stress and anxiety leaves the body, relief and tiredness hits and feeling both happy and sad.

Oh well... I just need to remind myself what is done is done.  Now the course is over and either I need to redo the test sometime or I've passed and km hoping for the latter.

To celebrate that the test is done, I have worked my way through this express (!) Course and I've gotten into university, I bought donuts (not just for me.). I used to love donuts, I could eat 3 at a time as an after school snack. It didn't happen often as we were only allowed those types of food on Fridays or Saturdays. But sometimes on a Friday evening when we had a 2 hour drive to my dad's place I would buy myself 2-3 donuts.  And I've wanted donuts for a while but never bought any... really I wanted to go to Dunkin donuts and buy them but I didn't have the energy for that so instead I bought them in a store.

So.... my first donut in almost 8 years? It was actually really yummy, the white one anyway (I took a bite of the pink one and the chocolate one) but the white one (i.e on top white) was the best. 1 of those and I was satisfied! ! I'm not such a fan of store bought cakes or buns but at times they are ok, and it was ok this time! But I do want to try making my own donuts, just to try and they might be delicious as well!!) :)

For now, it's rest and lots of food and lots and lots of vitamins because my lungs are burning from coughing and j can't hear anything due to blocked ears, haha. But no sore throat anyway ;)


  1. I'm so pleased to hear about University! :D that's awesome Izzy and at least now you can chill after all that math studying X

    1. Thank you! Yes exactly, now some mental and physical rest :)