Ive had quite a few bad christmases. I once had my mum threaten to call the police because i told her i would run away, My mum threatened to admit me to psychiatric ward during Christmas time, ive had a panic/anxiety attack at a christmas buffet and the amounts of fights and bad things ive said is ridiculous. But i can atleast now know that those times are over... that the arguments and bad words from both my side and my families said came from a time of stress and pressure. My mum didnt really mean it when she said she would leave me at Mando and not visit - because she did visit as often as she could - she didnt mean it when she said she would have me locked up in psychiatric unit, because she did all she could to keep me away from there.
And i didnt mean it when i said things like they should all just go dissappear (Word changed.)
My best advice for Christmas is to really try your hardest. To eat, no matter how tough it is. No matter if you get anxiety and want to run away or cry or purge or anything. Instead write down your goals, thnk of what you want (and that is not losing weight or not eating. Change those goals.) Take realistic steps it can be too hard to try everything at once. It can lead to too much panic or anxiety. So its better to take small steps such as enjoying a piece of chocolate after lunch, or maybe drining some hot chocolate with your siblings or helping baking with your friends/family and enjoying what you bake afterwards.
The most important thing is to try everyday, take a small step forward each day. And if you do compensate then dont feel guilty, instead know that you have the chance to try again right now.
Write down some coping methods which you can look at when you need to.
Or try this: http://www.lifewithoutanorexia.com/2014/04/the-alternative-jar.html , the alternative jar for when you feel you want to use a bad behaviour.
Have a mantra or motto to say to yourself and try to enjoy yourself. Dont let your ED win or take over. You are stronger than that. Think this time next year you could be healthy and enjoying Christmas with your family and friends. All it or any holiday it can be tough when you are recovering from an eating disorder. There is alot going on in your mind, your under alot of stress and pressure and maybe guilt and anxiety involved. But your family are also worried, stressed, anxious about you and how it is going to go. So it can often turn into one big mess.