Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, December 20, 2015

Feeling lonely while going to school

School can be a very tough place for many. There are so many different worry factors and things that can make you feel bad while in school.  There is stress over exams and tests,  anxiety over the work load and then unfortunately some people are mean and like to take it out on others. And then there is also the worry factor about friends.... what happens if you don't easily make friends in school or can seem shy and not so approachable?

Not having friends in school is tough and the lonliness when not having friends is not any fun. For the first 2,5 years in Sweden I didn't really have any friends. I had acquaintances with people from Mando and one friend from the school I started at during the end of 2011. But I felt so lonely because I had no one I could talk to, no one I wanted to spend a lot of time with  and no one I could just call or do random things with like my best friend in Ireland.  But I kept my hopes up that when I started a new school autumn 2012 I would make lots of new friends..... that was not the case. I half made friends with a few people but it wasn't really friendship,  more... "we can hang out in school" but then I started getting a bad vibe from one of the girls and found out 1,5 years later that that girl had actually tried spreading rumors about me even though I hadn't done anything to her. But I felt very very lonely during autumn 2012 and felt stressed with school work and trying to find a balance with exercise.  My goal that kept me going during recovery was to have friends, go to school and be happy. ... but it wasn't working out the way I had planned and I began wondering, was recovery really worth it? But eventually I made friends, I don't even remember how I guess I might have looked a little lonely or maybe I said something funny and got everyone to laugh and sort of realise me. But I found a group of friends who are great and also accept me for who I am. Sure I don't have someone who is really close to me and I can talk about everything with, that is still my best friend in Ireland.  But I have friends I enjoy hanging out with even if it took several months and lots of lonliness to find them.

And I can say that now when I start university and move to another part of Sweden I am worried that the same thing might happen.  That I might feel very lonely there. However I have some online friends who live there so I think I'm going to atleast try to meet them so I don't feel so lonely.

Lonliness sucks, when you go to a school and you feel like you have no one to talk to.  Everyone else has their friends and looks so happy. It doesn't help when you are shy and an introvert or when you have to miss alot of school due to appointments.

But know that people are just human. They do have compassion and care. If you know you are shy and kind of withdrawn, then try to make more of an effort to talk to people.  Such as if you get group assignments, that can be a great time to get to know people. Otherwise I suggest after school things which you will enjoy and find people with the same hobbies and interests.

Sometimes people are oblivious and don't actually realise when someone is on the outside or lonely. Abd it might be hard to talk to a group of people who seem to already be so tight and have their group.... but remember everyone is just human. And the best suggestion is to do things that get you talking to other people. Even joining a group or hobby outside of school so you can atleast find friends outside of school and meet people during weekends and such.

Sometimes it just doesn't work to make friends in your class and then maybe you can switch class or school? That can seem daunting, but it also gives you the opportunity to try to be social right form the beginning and people can see You. For me personally I thought it was nice to change school because then I could be me, and people wouldn't just see me as the sick person, they didn't even know about my past illnesses. When it comes to being lonely and meeting people the only thing you can do is to actually meet and talk to people. Sometimes you just need to stand out with the lonliness for a while until change can be made and that is a tough stage,but then maybe you can spend time with animals or your family or do lots of things that make yiu happy.  And atleast try to be social someway so that you don't lock yourself away and isolate yourself completely.

Know that you aren't alone even if you feel lonely.  Put on a podcast,  maybe you have someone you can talk to online (but please be careful who you talk to online!!!!), or maybe you can do something with a family member or even go sit in a library or something where there are people but you aren't overwhelmed by people either.

Otherwise things like working or volunteering are good options to make friends :)

I know it's tough but it won't be this way forever, even if it feels like it,you will make friends sometime. But it's also about trying to make friends, you can't sit in a corner and ask yourself why you are lonely. So even if your class might not be the most welcoming there are other ways to make friends :)


  1. I can relate to this. I'm currently applying to study in the US and I don't know anyone there. Seriously- I haven't got any friends or relatives in North or South America! They all live in England or Australia. So the whole idea is quite daunting- particularly because I am an introvert. But I know the Americans are known for being friendly and accepting, so I hope it isn't too bad. At least there isn't a language barrier.

    1. It's always tough when you move to nee places. But when it comes to university (?) and if ypu live on campus it will be easier to make friends!! Others might have moved there as well and everyone will be new so it's easier to make friends rather than if you jump into a class at the middle of term. Good luck with your studies and I hope it goes well with making friends :)

  2. Hi Izzy, I think going to university and making friends will be different from when you were younger and at school. For a start you are all older and people at university come from all walks of life and their ages may vary too. All of you have had life experiences which also makes a difference.
    I found that when I went to college I made friends a lot easier than I did when at school. For a start no one knows anyone else so you are all in the same boat - its not like school when you are around the same people throughout your school years.
    I think you will be ok. Theres lots of social opportunities if you want to take them to make friends but just being yourself and attending classes will bring you into contact with new people too. Its a new start and a new beginning - how exciting! Just be yourself and I`m sure you`ll be fine