Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, December 18, 2015

Dreading a conversation and phonecall

Hello :)

Friday evening and only 6 days until Christmas eve!  So far we don't have a Christmas tree... but I think we are buying one tomorrow? A bit of Christmas feeling anyway! ! I also want to make gingerbread men, sugared almonds and saffron buns again!!! Christmas baking is one of the best things about Christmas!  And I'm also trying to convince my mum to take me out to a Christmas buffet lunch! According to me you can never have too much Christmas food!  I love the Christmas food in Sweden, which many people in my age find strange. ... but I didn't grow up eating the typical swedish Christmas food so for me... its still new. I mean it's only really been 3 years (I. E 3rd year now that I actually enjoy Christmas food!)

Today I haven't spent much time online and that is mostly due to the fact that I've wanted to turn my phone onto flight mode or just throw my phone away to avoid a certain conversation. Basically the doctor wanted to admit me into hospital with IV antibiotics.... and well I refused. Because that is an absaloute nightmare for me. so instead I was told to think it over and they would call me today...... and my answer was still no. I mean, spend Christmas, my mum's birthday and new years in hospital? I think not. .... so after a while of trying to get them to agree we finally agreed that I go back at the start of January and if things aren't better I need IV antibiotics :/ usch.... but there might be a chance that I can do it while at home.  But that means being a prisoner in my own home for 10-14 or more days :/ but better than hospital. ... infact they will quite literally have to knock me out or drag me there screaming and kicking before I willingly allow myself to be admitted to hospital. It's a nightmare of mine.

So for now i can atleast enjoy the holidays but focus on lots of medication, lots of cardio (infact since ive stopped running or doing HIIT my lungs and cf health has decreased as well.... so time to get back into!) and staying away from areas with lots of people and preferably little public transport to minimize getting bacteria or infections.... I mean I'm not complaining about that. Now I have a legit reason to be driven everywhere,hahah XD

To get my mind off things luckily we had plans to go to my step dad's Mums place where we drank coffee, ate a delicious dinner and I even got my hair cut as P's mum is a hairdresser,  so now I have fresh hair again and it's and least manageable! !! XD

Now it's after dinner coffee before we head home :) :)

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. And I'm going to try my best wuth my blog and answering comments but I just feel quite overwhelmed with everything and struggling with both physical health and mental health..... but soon I'll be back to top form, I know it... or I hope for it anyway!!!

8 comments:

  1. Dropped by to wish you some merry Christmas atmosphere for these few upcoming days! I hope you'll find warm things to comfort your fears with over the holidays. You are a wonderful being and would deserve sleighloads of gingerbread dough right now. But if you did happen to receive it in such a scale, perhaps you could send one bowlful for me, too, right?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you :) and merry Christmas to you too!! I hope you have a lovely Christmas. ... hahah yes I definitely would. Though I'm sure I could manage a whole load just on my own ^-^ though u prefer the actual cookies rather than the dough. ... which do you prefer? :)

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    2. Yes, the cookies do win eventually, but there are no cookies without dough and there's no baking without a little tasting - unless you go with Annas!
      I probably can't help myself from wishing you again later on when Christmas actually arrives, though, so be prepared!

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  2. Are you sure you are doing okay, Izzy?

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  3. Hi Izzy, you are stunning in the photo! i wish i can recover soon like you did! Btw, i always felt sore on my knee and even more after i exercise =( maybe i should stop exercise, right?
    Hope you have a beautiful Christmas Week!

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    Replies
    1. If you get a pain in your knee from exercise then you are doing something wrong anyway. Maybe you can try another form of exercise IF you are allowed to exercise. But I think first you should rest a while and give your knees some rest and then after a while and if you are allowed, try a different form of exercise :) and hope you have a lovely Christmas! ! And you can recover if you really want to and work hard :)

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    2. If you get a pain in your knee from exercise then you are doing something wrong anyway. Maybe you can try another form of exercise IF you are allowed to exercise. But I think first you should rest a while and give your knees some rest and then after a while and if you are allowed, try a different form of exercise :) and hope you have a lovely Christmas! ! And you can recover if you really want to and work hard :)

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    3. I`m sorry to hear about your CF appointment at the hospital and your possible admission, I hope you do manage to get to have your treatment at home - its got to be more relaxing for you, I mean hospitals are pretty stressed out places aren't they so I can understand your reasons for not wanting to go.
      Heres hoping you have a nice, relaxing Christmas with your family doing the the things you want to do even if this does mean having treatment too.
      Good luck and look after yourself, and let your family pamper you too - you need it and deserve it whilst you are going through all this.

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