Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

Translate

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Answer - a cause of my eating disorder ?

Hope you don`t mind me asking but do you think it was due to your parents making you eat so much when you didn't want it that contributed to you developing anorexia?

Don't worry I don't mind you asking. No I don't think it had so much affect on me developing anorexia.  It might have had some effect as I began to realise that others weren't being told to eat, if anything the people around me and friends and such were being told to eat less from their parents (which is just as bad really). When I began to develop my eating problems I did get into arguments with my parents and told them that I didn't want to be treated differently.  If there was a last piece of something I didn't want it unless I actively said I wanted it. And I told them to stop telling me to eat more and they did stop somewhat which I guess just made it easier for me to not eat.

But my eating disorder was a way of controlling life which seemed so chaotic at the time.  I had no control over my life and needed something to hold onto,  something I could control. My eating disorder didn't develop from me wanting to eat less or to lose weight. But it was me wanting to be normal, I stopped taking my medication and wanted to be treated normally which just made me more ill. I can't say exactly how or why my eating disorder developed but I know it had to do with wanting control and having low self esteem. And then as the anxiety and guilt around food and body image grew, then it was just easier for me to not eat rather than to face the guilt or anxiety.

2 comments:

  1. oh hun this speaks to me on so many levels. i didn't write the comment but i am grappling with this notion of control myself. I have used my eating (or lack of rather) and exercise as a means to gain a level of control over my life but now i am trying to get better i don't seem to have a new coping strategy. everything feels so out of control right now and i don't know what to do, i feel like my exercise addiction will start again as i need a release if i cant starve. i don't know what to do. i can't sit with the anxiety to the point of panic attacks and i feel so so ashamed and guilty for eating. i don't know what to do it is putting huge barriers up to me getting well as i don't have a way out x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Izzy - I think I understand you. You have been through so much and its remarkable that you have come so far. If anyone deserves health and happiness it is you.

    ReplyDelete