Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Allowing yourself to eat or eat more even if your have gained weight

hi izzy i wondered if you had any thoughts on how to get around feeling a need to justify to yourself that you need to eat more especially if my weight is going up, i feel that i must continue to starve myself if I'm hungry till the next meal. i daren't eat more and if i have put on some weight or stayed the same I'm told just to carry on as i am and they don't care that i am hungry and in pain and have so much anxiety that i may have to eat and lose control. How do i allow myself to eat and put more weight on i feel trapped

You are not alone in this type of thinking, infact i think many think this way. But the first thing you need to realise is that eating is essential everyday, and eating a certain amount each day is necessary as well. It doesnt matter if you are lying in bed for a week, or working or in school or out hiking or sitting by a desk all day. The body needs a certain amount of energy each day. Of course if someone is active they need a higher amount of energy each day, but even on the days that they arent very active they can most likely eat the same amount of energy as that is what the body needs. 

I dont know whether you are underweight or not, but if you are then you need to realise that weight gain is a good thing, it is what your body needs and it is very counterprodutive if you are then going to starve yourself to lose weight just because the scale has gone up a little? Then it will just be +/-/0 all the time and you will just mess up your metabolism. It is like yo-yo dieters who end up with terrible metabolisms and can only eat very few calories because they have gone from very restrictive to eating lots to very restrictive. It messes with your body and your body will be constantly stressed and never find its balance.

Because the body is smart, the body adapts very well. If you eat very little for a long period of time the body will slow down the metabolism a little to keep the body functioning properly so that you arent burning so much energy as you arent getting so much energy into you. The body wants to keep you alive, and if you increase your food intake the body will do its best to try to burn off as much energy as it can to find a balance, because the body wants to be balanced. The body wants to settle at its healthy weight and keep you there so you function properly. But if you are going from eating lots to very little and back again to lots it will disrupt the balance and disrupt the bodies natural way of finding balance and can make things alot harder for you in the future.

It can also be good to acccept that you need to gain weigt. That is the first thing, maybe you can have someone else weigh you or maybe not look at the number at all? If the number on the scale triggers you too much then dont weigh yourself, instead focus on eating and eating enough while also battling your mental thoughts. Increasing your food is necessary even if you are gaining weight, as the increase in food will help your body to recover and nourish itself and to help fix the damage in your body. 

Food is an everyday thing which your body needs to keep itself alive. And hunger is a sign that your body needs food and energy. Eating is not losing control, listening to your body and feeding your body right is a way of going against your eating disorder and taking control back.  

I suggest that for 2 weeks follow your meal plan if you have one  but also if you are more hungry then eat more. Because what is the worst that can happen,? And if you think weight gain, well that is just a positive and will help you. The other benefits such as more energy, fighting your eating disorder, getting your life back  etx are alot more appealing.

It is not easy but the best thing you can do is to try ti eat what your body is telling you and to disregard your weight. Just try it and see what happens.

Think of all the people who just eat intuitively and Somedays eat lots and other days less but still maintain their weight and that is because the body is clever and adapts!

Long answer but I hope it helps somehow. :)

1 comment:

  1. thanks izzy so much for answering. I'm really confused cos i don't know what to do, i fear that if i eat more than i am then i will just gain loads of weight and what if i just eat and eat, what if i never get full or what if i get full or panic cos I've eaten more and then can't eat whats on my plan next and then ill be in a mess.