Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, November 23, 2015

You learn from your past, you grow and change

Yesterday i spent a few hours looking back on old posts and pictures from my IG. And it is crazy how much i have changed and all for the positive.

For a while i was stuck in a cycle of lots of cardio and doing alot of core work, that was all i knew really. I barely knew what a squat or lunge was back then and that is understandable. But i liked exercise but didnt have so much knowledge either... my rest days included powerwalks, which is ok, you can have an active restday but when its gone 3 months and your "rest" days are a 90 minute walk, i would not call that rest. But also times when i have written "I am so tired and not motivated to go to the gym but went anyway." and now all i think is "Damn girl. You arent motivated to the gym because school is stressing you, you arent eating enough and doing lots of cardio. Take a damn break". hahaha. I am pretty sure i got comments like that as well but i didnt think about them. I am the type of person who learns best from my own mistakes. I can look back at my past and think how much i have changed and how much i have grown. Its funny how day by day you dont notice the changes but then when you look back into the past and have something to compare with it can be pretty awesome, if you move forward and progress in a positive way anyway.

It's also strange to look back at the tiny meals i ate.... the salads and egg whites, the tiny portions of yoghurt and raisins. How did that fill me up? Not to mention that i was doing a whole lots of cardio each day with definitely not enough food. At the time i didnt think about it as i wasnt counting calories i had moved away from that, but i wasnt eating enough and i didnt see any progress either. I felt less energetic, always bloated, tired and lost my gym and exercise motivation. Now i know the reason for all those symptoms, i was over exercising and under eating and when i realised this i decided to make a change. And it WAS scary to make the change from doing lots of cardio to realising that doing so much cardio wasnt actually helping me, but also increasing my meals so that i would have more energy.

It's easy to make mistakes when you dont actually know. I mean i am still making "Mistakes" in my life though i dont know if i want to call them mistakes because even if they lead me the wrong way for a while i end up learning from my mistakes and growing as a person and hopefully not repeating those steps again. And that is important, because even if you make a mistake, that is ok just learn from it and try not to repeat it. I love the quote "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new". Because it is very true, when you try something new you might not get it right at once but you learn and you grow and isnt that what life is about as well?

Sometimes i wish that i hadnt done some things or  feel that i wasted so much time  on certain things or certain people which just took my energy and gave nothing back. But then again i remind myself that that is just part of my life and that i need to get better at acknowledging when things arent a benefit to me and are taking more energy than giving back, but also learning to walk away when i know that things arent going to work instead of sitting there and trying to keep everything from falling apart. But sometimes the best thing you can do is to walk away from something or someone. But once again those are mistakes i have learned from and need to continue to learn from.

I think "mistakes" are made to help you grow, you cant be good at everything or know everything at once. Instead you learn, change and grow and that is part of life. A mistake isnt a failure and doesnt mean you are bad at something, it just means that what you are doing or what you did wasnt the best or most helpful choice, but knowing when to make changes and not trying to hold something that is broken together can be a good thing to learn early!!



3 comments:

  1. you are brilliant Izzy and i am so grateful that you write, i admire you so much
    look after yourself, i hope you have a wonderful day and that things keep getting better for you

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  2. I laughed at that "damn girl take a damn break" haha. I am stuck in the same way you were before :( doing lots of cardio and not eating enough but I'm so scared to change. I don't want to get fat. You look so good now but I will just gain lots of fat and I don't want that. Do you have any tips for me?

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  3. omg i so feel like the anon above how do we change - I'm that bloated girl, no energy, no life. i need to eat more but I'm scared. I've cut my exercise down loads but now I'm scared to eat. i can't let the numbers on the scales go its terrifying me seeing them go up and i have to add in more food i know as my weight is only going up a small amount week on week but again I'm scared to let go.

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