Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, November 9, 2015

Randoms from my day - Monday

For some reason this day has passed so quickly... it's almost 6pm when writing this post and the time has just flown by.

The day started with school and some studying after my lesson was done, though after an unproductive hour i started getting lots of stomach cramps and pain and it was almost impossible to concentrate. So it was just to pack my things and head home, but first i stopped off into the shop to buy lots of fruit and berries. A delicious meal of snack never fails to make me feel better and eating lots of fruit and berries it sure as hell tastes good even if my stomach is in pain.

I also drank a Noa Relaxation  which is caffeine free but contains green tea extract and Melissa which is supposed to help with concentration and focus and decrease stress. Not sure if i feel those effects... and not so sure what i think about the flavour. It's not sweet it's like juice without the sugar or sweetner, haha... basically a somewhat fruit flavoured tea :)

How have i spent the hours since i came home... not doing much, just taking it easy and it's taken me a few hours to finish that fruit plate :(  But i'll make sometype of easy high calorie meal this evening so i get the energy i need.

For now i thought i would be productive and try to answer emails, hopefully anyway!!!

Also i realised that it has been a while since i posted a selfie... or a recent selfie anyway. So here is a "bathroom selfie" just because..... well because it was the first selfie i have taken in what feels like weeks. And it can of shocked me that i havent taken selfies, but then again when you feel like crap and you know you look awful its not so exciting to take selfies :( But i can atleast try to smile anyway! 

Also... i basically want to live in playsuits at the moment... 1) because people think you are actually putting an effort into the way you look and your outfit but actually 2) you are just lazy and its super comfortable and 3) i can sit however i like and not have to worry about sitting crosslegged or things like that, like i have to when i wear skirts. So its basically all positives, apart from when you need to go to the bathroom and you feel like you are taking off everything XD hahaha.


  1. The plate looks amazing!! Enjoy it :)
    What happend to your right arm? :/

    1. It was delicious :) I got an irritation/rash from our detergent a few weeks ago so i scratched and it left some marks, but they are fading :)

  2. Ouch that looks like a deep bruise :/ I really hope you are OK! We are here for you if you want to talk, but I really hope that you get to go to a professional soon who can help you getting back on track!!
    I have a question, since you said that you are going to eat a high calorie meal tonight due to stomach pain. Do you always think about the amount of calories in your food? I mean if you hadn't had anorexia, you probably wouldn't know the amount of calories in foods and you wouldn't "plan" what to eat later and which calorie amount. Do you do it to not trigger bad thoughts or can you handle to eat less without seeing it as something "good"?

    1. I do plan on talking to someone just haven't found anyone at the moment. This is actually a really good point, I am glad you asked :) because of my past I guess you could say I am more aware of calories in a sense... I don't count calories but I also need to make sure to eat enough as I workout and I know I have lost weight over the past while due to not eating enough. So when all I have eaten today is breakfast and the fruit platter above that is far from enough and so I know that to not eat far too little I need to eat very calorie dense food to not end up eating far too little. I know I need to eat around 3000kcal a day and because I spent so many years counting calories I can still estimate how much is in a meal so it's not hard for me to know when I undereat. It doesn't trigger anything and it doesn't make me want to continue eating less, it just leads to even less energy, bad workouts and weight loss and none of those 3 things I want. But also I wrote that I was planning to eat a high calorie meal to show that even if I have a stomach pain I still aim to eat as much as I can and get the right energy amount :) I hope this answers your question. But I don't plan what to eat next unless it's cases where I haven't eaten enough during rhe day then I know that I need to eat lots in the evening.

  3. Are you sure those are scratches from a deodorant rash? They look a lot like self harm marks.

    1. Not neccesarily, maybe Izzy marks easily. I only have to scratch to develop a bruise, and if I scratch that same same spot several time the marks are horrendous. I mark easily, always have done but its got worse since the ed.

    2. They are not self harm. This is not the first time I've gotten an irritation from detergents or soaps, and when my skin is irritated I itch like crazy and am left with red marks. When I was younger my hands are arms.woild have red marks/spots due to itching and irritation. Both my family and boyfriend have seen the marks from itching and they haven't questioned it. But it does look like self harm, if I saw the marks from an outsiders view I would think it's self harm, so I understand your concern.

    3. Thank you for answering that person's question so straightforwardly and patiently, Izzy. I too thought it must be self-harm, and I am glad it isn't, and I also want to say well done that it isn't. I am so full of respect and gratitude for you for coping with all you are going through at present *without* self-harm. (Well, I know that technically the fact that that mark isn't self-harm doesn't mean there is no self-harm anywhere, and I don't mean to make you feel bad if I'm building too much on that one, but ... at least warm congratulations that that one isn't -- your strength is wonderful. Thank you, and take care. I hope you will find your way to a happier place that doesn't need such strength all the time! or at least not strength of that kind.)