Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Motivation to change comes from the inside, and your desire to change has to be stronger than your will to stay the same
I could write the most motivational quote ever.
I could write all the reasons you should want to recover.
I could write all the reasons you should not want to be sick.
I could write about how positive life is without an eating disorder. All the positives of being healthy, happy and free from the illness.
I could give you all advice you needed and wanted.
But that doesnt mean you will recover or want to recover. Because that motivation comes from the inside. It does not matter how many people tell you "you need to recover, you need to gain weight", it does not matter how many people are around you and supporting you and love you. It does not matter how many people you talk to who have recovered from the illness, it does not mean that you automatically will recover.
Of course those things HELP. Just like treatment, i always suggest treatment because they are there to support you and MAKE you take steps towards recovery even when you dont want to. You cant just refuse any help because you dont want to recover, there are only 3 options when it comes to eating disorders 1) death or organ failure leading to death 2) being a functional sufferer where life is hell and you are just surviving because you know you have to and 3) recovery and life...... and the first 2, they are nothing to strive after or want. Treatment is there to help you when you dont want to help yourself. I know that if i wasnt forced to go to treatment i wouldnt even have reached the stage of choosing recovery because i would most likely have killed myself before i reached that stage, or my body would have given up. My lungs were being very negatively affected by my eating disorder and my lung function was extremely below where it should be as well as other organs such as my heart being very negatively affected. Though this didnt stop me from still pushing my body to the max with exercise while eating barely anything and losing weight as soon as i wasnt in hospital. Knowing the damage i could do to my body, i didnt care because i thought "I wouldnt live long enough to have to deal with them anyway"..... let me tell you, i am dealing with long term consequences and pains from my eating disorder.
You need to find the motivation within yourself. You need to find your reason for YOURSELF. Because it is your life and your body. It is you who will see the changes, feel the changes and most o all, it is you who has the fight the demons. No one else can do that for you. You need to face your fears and overcome your obstacles and it is by no means easy, but it is worth it.
People cant force you to recover, but they can force you into treatment and that is a good thing. Because even if you dont want help, thers will try to help you.
With this post i want you all to realise that you need to find the motivaiton within yourself. But also have some type of "Blind faith" and know that the bloating will pass, you wont be ugly when you reach your goal weight you wont be "chubby or fat or any other thing you think you will be." You will have a healthy weight, meaning that your body can function the way it should. But you also need a healthy mind, and to spend time focusing on body love and body acceptance. Instead of refusing recovery and pushing it away, why not try it..... you wont go back to the person you were before your illness and you wont look like the person before your illness either. Your body and mind have changed and you get to create yourself again, find yourself agan.
Focus on recovery. Focus on wanting to change and get better for yourself, because this is your life. And it is your life you are wasting when you are just surviving and not living.