Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, November 21, 2015

Losing weight or gaining weight after an eating disorder

Weightloss and weight gain can't always be controlled... sometimes life is stressful which can either cause weight gain or weightloss. Or maybe you have some economical problems so you cant buy enough food or if something tragic happens then it can lead to eating less or more which can cause weightloss or weight gain. But also hormones, for example if you begin with hormonal pills for different reasons that can cause either weightloss or weight gain. These things can be very triggering if you have recovered from an eating disorder, but it is important to not let the number on the scale affect you. But to be able to deal with those types of changes and also know where your body feels best.

For example if you have lost weight then dont let that trigger you into losing more weight, but know where your healthy set point is and try to get back to that. But also if you gain weight ask yourself, is this affecting my negatively, is it necessary that i lose the weight? If for example you gain alot of weight quickly due to hormonal changes then that might not make you feel the best and so you know that your healthy set point is a few kilo less and you know you would feel better if you lost a few of those kilos, then you can do that if it i helps you. But then dont go on a fad or restrictive diet, but do it in a smart way where you dont damage yourself or your mental health. Also be aware that if that weightloss would trigger you mentally and you know that losing 4 kg would lead to losing 8kg and losing 12 kg etc, ask yourself is it really worth it just to lose a few kilo when infact you dont even need to lose that weight. But also if you strength train it is possible and normal to gain weight and that is not something you should panic about either, you dont need to try to lose that weight, instead just accept it. For example when i was strength training for a while i weighed around 66kg and that was a healthy and normal weight as it was due to muscle gain. But stress affects me quite alot which leads to eating less and weightloss, but i know where my body feels best and that is around 64-65kg so even if i dont weigh myself (the only time i do is when I am at the CF clinic) i know that that is a weight where my body feels best. It is energetic, functions properly and mentally i have the most energy and such. I know my body very well so i do notice/feel it in my energy levels and such if i lose or gain weight. But i also know that if i do lose weight due to stress or other factors for example recently i have been having alot of stomach problems, to the point of extreme pain and havent been able to eat so much. But i also know that if i do lose weight it doesnt put me in an underweight range. Which is why it is often recommended to have a higher BMI for many different reasons after an eating disorder, but also because if you do lose weight due to reasons it wont put you underweight. As that takes its toll on you physically but also mentally. But also your body will function better if you have a higher BMI.

Try to not focus so much on the scale, but instead knowing where your body and mind feels best. Weight is just a number, though of course still being underweight is not recommended even if you feel mentally healthy. Like i wrote in my previous post, if you are truly healthy then why are you so set on having an underweight weight? But some people are naturally very slim, however after an eating disorder that is not a good idea because if you do lose weight it will affect you physically more as well as it can trigger you mentally. And dont forget that if weightgain happens due to life and it is not that you have begun binging then dont worry so much about that weight gain. Maybe your body just needed to gain weight or its hormones etc

This post has become really long but i just wanted to write out that you shouldnt worry so much about the number and know that if you do gain weight or lose a little weight even after reaching your goal weight it is not the end of the world. But of course if you lose weight and end up underweight again, that is never good. But it is not the end of the world either, but be honest with yourself and know where your body functions best!


  1. Hi izzy, can I know what are you doing now :) What course have you take after high school? Is it related to health stuff? Have a nice day, and stay happy :D

    1. At the moment i am studying maths 4, a 9 week course (where i do a years maths in 9 weeks). I did need to study this course to get into the nutrition university program but instead i have applied for the dietician program and just studying maths so that i have something to do and keep up with my studying :):)

  2. Hope u have a fab weekend Izzy :D Xx

    1. Thank you :) I hope you had a great weekend!