Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, November 30, 2015

Last day of November and first day of snow

Last night I woke several times and heard how it was pouring down with rain. And I didn't find it cosy because I knew that in a few hours time I would have to go out in that weather.  So I just hoped that it had stopped by the time I had to leave. When I did eventually leave the house it wasn't raining anymore,  it was snowing. But the type of half rain, half snow which makes you drenched and freezing. Would have preferred sunshine and 25 degrees but it's just to find the positives anyway :)

I headed to the gym in the morning as that is my favourite way to start the day and also my way to celebrate my birthday, haha. And then it was school time. ... which started with being told that my national test was in 10 days time, not in 18 days as I had thought.  For some reason I had gotten the date wrong and thought I had my national test in 18 days time so the shock I got when I realised it was 10 days away was not a good shock. For 90 minutes I sat there with lots of anxiety and didn't know what to do with myself.  I just felt like,  I give up. I want to go home, watch films all day and never study maths again. It was not a nice feeling and the stress has risen quite alot.... but I then reminded myself. 10 more days of lots of study and then it's over.... then I'm done. It's better that it's just 10 intense days instead of 18? Just to focus everything on maths at the moment.

To do something fun and somewhat celebratory for my birthday my mum took me out for lunch which was also a good way to get rid of that growing stress and we went to my favourite place! 

The desserts were shared between the two of us but i ate 75 % ^_^ 

When i came home it was study time. However after an hour or so i got the worst headache combines with nauseous feelings and feeling extremely cold so had to lie down for a while before taking a super long shower to try to warm up. Currently still feeling nauseous and a thumping headache, so no idea what my plans are for this evening but sleep and lots of it is definitely a must, haha. For once i am thankful that my birthday is not on a Saturday because then i would most likely have plans to go out, but for now i can just spend my evening resting which is exactly what i want :) hahah.

So far i dont feel older and it doesnt feel like my birthday, but i guess thats usual the older you get. Birthdays become less special, but also i rarely think of my age so when people ask me my age i am still most likely going to answer 16 or something even if i am a few years older than that XD I still feel like a 16 year old at times!!

Does anyone ever really feel their age though? Most people feel younger or older really... age is just a number and there are social constructs of how people or certain ages should act but that doesnt mean that just because you are 18 you are suddenly super adult and know everything about being an adult. Just like when you are 50 doesnt mean that you are mature and know everything about life. 

Anyway, too much writing and now my headache is taking over, so going to end this post here and say a big thank you for all the congratulations and happy birthdays i have gotten :) It means alot to me, so thank you :):)


  1. ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY. Don't stress about the test!

    1. Thank you, yeah i stress a little too much. But you are right, i should just enjoy my birthday :)

  2. Please, don't worry about that test - you're nowhere near stupid or dump, you are a nice, wise, positive and beautiful girl and everybody believes in you and knows that you will pass this test! You have already achieved so many things in life! Don't panic! And in a few years time this Test propably won't even matter anymore! Take care of yourself and your health, that is the Most important thing at the moment :)

    1. Naaw thank you, and you are right, this one test might not mean so much in a few years time though for now it feels like everything. But i know that if i study a little everyday then things might go ok :) And thank you!

  3. big big happy birthday . i hope you have loadsa fun . dont worry about the test you ll fly through it. big hugs and love dd

  4. I hope you enjoyed your bday!
    I have to tell you that I'm so jealous of that buffet restaurant you have there.. I'm really starting to feel like I have to come there just because of all that delicious food!! GOSH it looks so yummy :P btw I'm from Finland so it is not so far away hahah.