Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: email@example.com
Monday, November 30, 2015
Last day of November and first day of snow
Last night I woke several times and heard how it was pouring down with rain. And I didn't find it cosy because I knew that in a few hours time I would have to go out in that weather. So I just hoped that it had stopped by the time I had to leave. When I did eventually leave the house it wasn't raining anymore, it was snowing. But the type of half rain, half snow which makes you drenched and freezing. Would have preferred sunshine and 25 degrees but it's just to find the positives anyway :)
I headed to the gym in the morning as that is my favourite way to start the day and also my way to celebrate my birthday, haha. And then it was school time. ... which started with being told that my national test was in 10 days time, not in 18 days as I had thought. For some reason I had gotten the date wrong and thought I had my national test in 18 days time so the shock I got when I realised it was 10 days away was not a good shock. For 90 minutes I sat there with lots of anxiety and didn't know what to do with myself. I just felt like, I give up. I want to go home, watch films all day and never study maths again. It was not a nice feeling and the stress has risen quite alot.... but I then reminded myself. 10 more days of lots of study and then it's over.... then I'm done. It's better that it's just 10 intense days instead of 18? Just to focus everything on maths at the moment.
To do something fun and somewhat celebratory for my birthday my mum took me out for lunch which was also a good way to get rid of that growing stress and we went to my favourite place!
The desserts were shared between the two of us but i ate 75 % ^_^
When i came home it was study time. However after an hour or so i got the worst headache combines with nauseous feelings and feeling extremely cold so had to lie down for a while before taking a super long shower to try to warm up. Currently still feeling nauseous and a thumping headache, so no idea what my plans are for this evening but sleep and lots of it is definitely a must, haha. For once i am thankful that my birthday is not on a Saturday because then i would most likely have plans to go out, but for now i can just spend my evening resting which is exactly what i want :) hahah.
So far i dont feel older and it doesnt feel like my birthday, but i guess thats usual the older you get. Birthdays become less special, but also i rarely think of my age so when people ask me my age i am still most likely going to answer 16 or something even if i am a few years older than that XD I still feel like a 16 year old at times!!
Does anyone ever really feel their age though? Most people feel younger or older really... age is just a number and there are social constructs of how people or certain ages should act but that doesnt mean that just because you are 18 you are suddenly super adult and know everything about being an adult. Just like when you are 50 doesnt mean that you are mature and know everything about life.
Anyway, too much writing and now my headache is taking over, so going to end this post here and say a big thank you for all the congratulations and happy birthdays i have gotten :) It means alot to me, so thank you :):)