I already gained about 7-8 kg, and my treatment staff are ready to let me go from the clinic, but I would like to gain the last 2-3 kg (I actually need to gain 5 kg to not be underweight, but my goal weight is set on this). I really, really want to gain these kg, but still when I think about it the anxiety just hits me so hard. I have a "skinny body type" if that makes sense (don't know how to explain othewise in English), so I do have a hard time getting weight even though I eat completely fine. Do you have any advice concerning reaching these last kg? It is just so easy to tell yourself, that it is not necessary, and you are just fine now, because you are no way near the dangerous weight, you were earlier.
First of all i want to say that it is great that you want to gain those last few kilos :) And it sounds very strange that the clinic is letting you go even though you need to gain weight? As you have a skinny body type, you will always be skinng/lean so these last few kilos wont affect your body so much, but it will do alot of good for your mental health, energy and if you havent already you might get your period back. Gaining 2-3kg wont be noticable on your body, so dont worry about that.
Gaining the last few kilos can be considered the hardest to gain, because your body has now adapted to the amount of calories which you have been eating. So it means you have to eat even more, which can be tough.
Back in 2012 i was in the same situation as you, i had to gain 3-4kg to reach my goal weight, but it scared me alot, for any different reasons. And i was still struggling with my body image, and at times i felt fat and then i thought if i felt fat now, how will i feel when i have reached my goal weight.
My body was also so used to how much i was eating so it took a lot of energy to gain weight, infact it took me more than 6 months to just try to gain those few kilos.
When i reached my goal weight i got my period back, i felt happier and healthier, all of my ED thoughts were gone - something which i had been working alot with, trying to be positive, challenge myself etc. And i felt happy in my body!
So to gain the last few kilos you need to eat more, or if you are active, it can help to decrease your activity amount.
You can add things like extra oil, butter or cream while cooking. Eating extra nuts or avocado on bread is great. Or adding oil, avocado, nuts, cheese and dressing to salads. Eating more and/or extra dessert! Drinking juice/milk with all your meals. Bigger portions for lunch and dinner. Bigger snacks. Choosing fullfat products.
Even things like making smoothies/milkshakes with yoghurt/milk/icecream/cream and berries/fruit/oats etc, making pancakes or muffins and eating them with peanut butter/whipped cream/chocolate sauce/nuts/berries/fruit/nutella etc etc Are good ways to eat delicious food and also get energy into you :)
And if they are fear foods, then your also challenging yourself, which is necessary in recovery.
Its tough to gain the last few kilos and i know ti can feel unneccessary, but it is needed!!! So do your best to gain the weight, and if you are no longer going to treatment then start living life again, doing things you enjoy, that can make it easier when youre not just focusing on gaining wieght, but doing fun things as well :)