Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Answer - therapy
I have commented many times before, and I say this with love, but - dude, WHEN are you going to put up a post about seeing someone for your depression? ;). I know it's hard and you're feeling very reluctant, but you've been feeling more than a little blue for MONTHS now, and you simply deserve better than this. I think its safe to say its not just going to pass on its own (although that does happen sometimes, who knows how long that could take or if it will ever happen at all). I love your blog, I love your message, and I just plain want you to get your spark back. You could blog about the process, even. Getting started, the trials and triumphs of it - if nothing else it could help others to take the same step for themselves. And it just might be what gets you back on track. I know you like to keep your blog a positive space, and I worry that if, even despite your effort to stay upbeat here, it is CLEAR that things have changed and you're not feeling good, that you might actually be feeling much worse than we know. Again, I say all this out of a place of love and concern, not to get on your back or bring you down! You have a readership that really cares and wants the best for you - the same as you want for them. Its time to treat yourself as you would a dear friend, and take some action. And I know "taking action" is just about THE hardest thing to do when one is depressed, but before you know it months or even years slip by and its not time you can get back. Much love :)
I am posting your comment because it does mean alot to me. It means alot to me that my readers care about me, and i do appreciate your concern and comments. So even if it seems like i brush them off i dont, i do take them to heart. At the moment i am getting quite alot of questions regarding when i will start therapy, or if i am going to start therapy. And i have said that i do awnt to start therapy, however i havent gotten any further than that. I dont really know where to turn to and havent spoken to my mum or anyone to help me take contact with someone or even know where to turn to. I know my sister and mum both went to therapy while i was at Mando as my illness took such a toll on them and they felt like they needed to talk to someone, so maybe i could figure out who that therapist/company (?) was and turn to that place. But it is also the money aspect.... unfortunatly i really dont have the economy to pay for therapy myself. It may seem like i have alot of money, but i dont. I do not earn anything from my blog and i am not working at the moment so my economy is basically +/-/0 every month and just about paying for the basics and my bills, but i know health care is number one. I really dont spend alot on things, i rarely buy clothes or buy things for myself, the only thing i spend money on is food and buying lunches if i am out or studying... so i guess if i didnt buy food then i might have enough to pay for therapy, so that is something i might look over though it feels like i wont be able to start therapy until after the new year anyway. I know this sounds like excuses, you can comment below and tell me that i am making excuses and my health comes first and that i am being silly. I would most probably do the same thing to another person (or maybe not.) But i KNOW exactly how it sounds.... just like i wrote in my previous post, saying that you are scared of life being awful after recovery and so not recovering at all, that isnt a valid excuse. Just like what i am saying now, isnt a valid excuse. But it is te truth. It is of course the fact that somedays i feel ok, i feel like life functions and life is ok and other times i feel completely numb and then other times i feel very low... but its those times when i feel numb or feel ok that i think, i dont need help because i am ok, this is just how i am.
Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening
^^That quote is very tru and pretty much sums up me at the moment.
I do want help and treatment because i am not going to be a hypocrite and sit here and tell everyone to seek help and seek proffessional help and i dont do it myself. That is not the type of person i am. But also i say health comes first and i am aware of that, so for now i am doing the best type of therapy and caring for myself that i can at the moment. Not doing stupid things or stupid actions, keeping myself away from harm and such, and then once i get a chance i will try to start therapy or some type of herbal medicine or something to help me.
So i want to say thank you for caring :) It does mean alot to me, and like you say i am not writing out everything as i dont want to do that. I dont feel it is necessary, instead i want to try to be positive though i am not going to share a fake side of myself either. I am being honest on here and being my true self by writing out the things i do, but at the same time not everything and every thought needs to be shared, but know that i am being honest on here. I know i will feel better soon and that does require work and WANTING to get better, knowing that i NEED to get better and not just accepting how i am at the moment.
Throw back to summer and happy memories!