Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Worrying does nothing but take away the days happiness
Yesterday evening I had a lovely time with friends. It was nice to finally see them again, but I can't help but get a little bothered about the distance between us all. How there is a sort of distance in how we act and behave... its not that same relaxed behaviour. Maybe we're all just older and feeling the weight of adulthood on our shoulders,but it feels like everything is a little more polite. Not to mention that everyone was super tired, most of them having studied all day so nobody was super high on energy which I guess also affects the atmosphere a little. Maybe it's just me who analyze things too much and I'm very sensitive to atmosphere and emotions etc meaning that if someone is angry or irritated or tired around me that affects me alot, so I prefer when people are neutral or happy around me,otherwise I also get affected by their emotions! !
Otherwise on the way to my boyfriends place I began thinking about school and studies. And I felt the anxiety and panic begin to affect me. I began thinking about the stress,the studying, and the early mornings (only 2 mornings a week so I don't even know why I am worried about that.) But I'm worried about not having the motivation, not being able to study, not passing the course..... so many worries and thoughts and I felt the panic and anxiety rising and making me feel sick. I then began thinking about the future which caused even more anxiety. I want change,I want things to be different but at the same time I know that a big reason as to why I want to move and study is because I am hoping that things will be different.... I am hoping that I will feel different, that suddenly moving will make everything better. But I need to take my own advice and remind myself that I can't run from my problems. .. moving doesn't mean things will get better. And thinking about moving actually causes anxiety and worry to rise inside of me. I want change, but the change has to come from the inside as well. At the moment I just feel worried about alot of things and I know it's not good or beneficial because worrying doesn't help anything. It just makes things worse and I can feel the clump of stress and worry in my belly which makes me feel nauseous. I want structure and to study or work but at the same time I don't want any of that. .. I don't really know what I want in my life right now and that worries me as well.
¨But i am going to put all those worries behind me because today its my boyfriends birthday and we're going out to dinner with his family, so important to not have a clump of anxiety and worry that makes me feel sick and ruins everything. haha.
Otherwise today i've got lots of emails to send and things to do, however i dont have so much time for my blog emails. It takes alot of time to reply to emails and i dont always have that time, so i am sorry, but i do try my best. But at times like this when i have other things to do and worries on my mind i am not the best at answering emails. Just wanted to write that here, so you know why you arent recieveing replies at the moment. :)
Anyway i wish you all a great day... this post is kind of jumlbed, but trying to make sense of everything and am under a time press at the moment, haha.