Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, October 12, 2015

What to do when you are physically recovered but still have some eating disorder thoughts left.

Recovery is more than just weight gain, for some they are a healthy weight and struggle with an eating disorder. Eating disorders are more than just weight, they are a mental illness, meaning that anyone at any shape or size can have an eating disorder.

But what happens when you are physically recovered and mentally 80% recovered but you still find yourself getting some thoughts... thoughts that hold you back from true recovery. Do you just accept it and think, this is life, it wont get better than this. Or do you realise that you are still controlled by your eating disorder, but that you can break free. You can regain YOUR control and be free from your eating disorder, but that means facing those fears and the things that hold you back.

Because first off, if you know that you are getting certain thoughts that you dont think are normal, then 1) write them down and challenge them. Why does that thing scare you? What can you do to go against it so it is no longer a fear. Because if you dont challenge those thoughts or fears, they will continue being fears and continue controlling you. Its like any fears, if you dont go against them then they will always be fears, they dont magically disappear.

If you get thoughts such as, i shouldnt eat dinner because i ate alot for lunch, or you think you cant have the cookie because you're going to eat potatoes for dinner etc then challenge those thoughts. Go against them and do the opposite. Food is not the enemy, but food shouldnt be your whole life either. Recovery is about finding YOUR balance, where food is part of your life and you eat it everyday because that is what you need. But unless you are working with food, it shouldnt be the main focus on your life either. I.e sitting around and counting down the hours until your next meal or always thinking about what you are going to eat next isnt good either. (This can happen at times, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if this is an everyday type of thinking and all your focus is on food then you need to do something about that. Find hobbies and distractions)

If you are still getting thoughts that hold you back and control you, then go against them. It can help to know which ones are the controlling ones and when they pop up, you have to be strong enough to not listen to them. But to try to listen to the real you, and if that is not possible... at least do the opposite of what your ED wants you to do.

Find YOUR balance with food, find your enjoyment in food, but also focus on LIFE, HEALTH, HAPPINESS.

Dont let your eating disorder control you, because you can be fully free. But that means not letting the ED thoughts control you, instead going against them. And eventually they will fade away, maybe at times you might get a random thought such as, "i ate too much for lunch, i should eat a small dinner" or "ive eaten ice cream too often recently i shouldnt eat anything with sugar for the next x weeks" etc but you should be strong enough to know what is best for YOU and to go against those types of thoughts. Of course, there is a difference between needing to go on a sugar detox because you are sugar addicted, and not wanting to eat sugar because you are scared of sugar. And there is a difference between not being so hungry - physically - because you ate alot already and then eating a little less later on. Rather than telling yourself that you cant eat alot even though you are hungry, just because you think you ate too much. When you are controlled by your eating disorder, then the best thing is to keep fighting until those thoughts are no longer in your head. Even if it scares you, gives you anxiety or guilt, you cant give up... because otherwise those thoughts will always control you. You need to fight them sometime, dont accept half recovery, because life is so much better as fully recovered!! It is a mental battle, but if you want it then you can win it :)

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