Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, October 30, 2015

What i've put my body through

Yesterday i began thinking, im only X years old but ive already put my body through so much. Both on the outside and in the inside it has has to endure alot... sometimes i wonder how my bones are still strong and my body isnt still covered in scars.
   But the body is quiite amazing how it repaires itsself after so much damage. Some damage however is irreversable.... some things your body cant fix.

You might not be thinking about these things right now, but someday you might. Someday you will regret all those years of purging because they have eroded your teeth so much, has caused you permanent acid reflux and for some they cant even eat solid food or alot of food at once because it just comes back up again. The metabolism so ruined.
  You might end up in hospital with organ failure, dehydratation or in the worst case cardiac arrest. Your heart not being able to cope with everything its being put through.

You have one body, that is all you will ever have. You may be able to change your outsides with plastic surgery, different operations or through food and exercise. But your insides... its those that matter. All the hours exercise you do just to try to get a flat stomach, that wont matter when you suddenly develop adrenal fatigue/exhausation or you collapse or even die from all the stress the exercise puts on your body.
   Those laxatives you took to keep you from 'gaining' weight or to help with the anxiety of eating. They wont be needed when you can no longer 'keep it in' or your digestive system is so ruined that you cant digest solid food.
  The alcohol, pills or overdosing wont seem like such a good idea to numb the pain when you get liver failure or other organ damage.

Somethings your body can fix such as malnutrition,thinning hair, weak bones, muscle loss etc but those all require enough food and energy so that your body can repair itsself. Somethings like damage to the digestive system, Organ damage or failure... those are things which your body wont be able to fix.

Stop focusing so much on the outside and how your body looks, instead focus on the inside and how your body feels.



9 comments:

  1. It scares me how much I was ready to sacrifice for such a tiny satisfaction. Why are we able to turn against ourselves like that? Why do we not even realize it? It's terrible, so frightening but humbling, too, in the end. I wish everyone could wake up before it's too late to ever respect all the biological wonders that happen beneath our skin again.

    Recovery, people!

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  2. Its a big progress :) ! You are so beatiful :) !

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  3. Hi Izzy ! I currently have a BMI of 16,1 and I am underweight. I never suffered from anorexia, but I think orthorexia. 3 years ago I begun running and exercising. It is my passion what I LOVE to do. I think I lost so much weight because I was juste exercising too much and not eating enough to maintain my healthy weight. My doctor said I need to stop exercising and running, only walking ... I am so exausted, I'm so scared to lose all the muscle I built and my running performance ... How did you manage this ? I'm so scared of eating more and not doing sport. Also, my belly is so huuuuuge and everything stays in this zone ... Is it really going to distribute ? It is something that scares me a lot ... :( My belly has always been the part of my body I hated the most, so it's so hard because I only see this belly it looks like I'm pregnant once I have eaten my breakfast :/ ... Thank you so much for you blog, it helped me a lot you are amazing <3

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    1. At that weight exercising will only tear your body and muscles apart. You have been using your muscled as fuel when running and working out. There is no chance you can build muscle without proper food for fuel. It´s an illusion that you have build more muscle when actually you have just burned off the little fat you have had under your skin to protect you. Now rest is essential and will improve your running and performance. You will be so much stronger and better when you are allowed to train again. It will feel so much better too. So take this rest seriously, otherwise you might not be able to run or exercise for a even longer time <3

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  4. Yes Izzy, you're right. It makes me so sad to think about all these things I've done to my body in the past. So I just hope that I'm strong enough (in the future) to choose recovery! :)

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  5. wow this hit me hard today. thank you for sharing, because I want to live my life happy and healthy when I'm older to not plagued with problems from my ED. Thats not worth it at all...

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  6. Thank you Izzy! We all need a reminder..

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  7. Thank you. It's so hard to remember the damage that you can't see, especially when you don't feel ill and you've forgotten that there was a time when doing things like walking up stairs wasn't so taxing. Recovery is hard and it's important to keep these hugely important things in mind x

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  8. I think about this a lot. Especially when it comes to bearing a child one day. I wonder if I’ll even be able to and that infuriates me. I cannot believe I’ve been so awful to my body, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it.

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