Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, October 15, 2015

Talking about weight gain, and loving yourself

Sometimes it makes me a little sad when i think about the statistics on my blog and not in the sense that i think i have too little that read my blog, but the fact that i think there are too many. I mean i dont write a fashion blog where i get money for each click on my blog or i have 101 advertisments and sponsorships were the more readers the better. I write about eating disorders and mental illnesses, i give advice on how to recover and the more readers i have, the more people suffering and that makes me a little sad sometimes. Because in all honesty, in a way i would prefer if there were no readers... hopefully that would mean that nobody was suffering and nobody needed my help. But like my family have told me, there will always be people suffering with eating disorders whether i like it or not. So its good that they can find my blog and maybe find it helpful rather than they find a bunch of pro ana or pro mia websites, so in a sense i guess thats good.

I also think about the fact that my most viewed post is, How to cope with weight gain , with almost 58 000 views..... and that scares me. That 58 000 people (more or less, some people might have viewed it more than once or there were spam people or something) have wanted to know how they cope with weight gain.... because weight gain seems to be one of the worst things in todays society. For western people anyway. Also scary how many people are scared of body fat.... the essential thing that EVERYONE needs, but some people would rather die than have stomach rolls which are COMPLETELY normal or have stretch marks or cellulite. Some people would rather starve themselves than to have a healthy weight.... of course that type of thinking isnt healthy, so its not just "anyone", but someone actually suffering from an eating disorder. But i still believe that eating disorders - somewhat can be triggered by society and social media. Of course, eating disorders are so much more than that, they are about control and something that might have happened in their lives, something that triggered them to fall into the grip of an eating disorder. Its not a choice and not something planned either. But i still believe that society feeds people the message that "fat is bad", "eating fat is bad", "eating carbs is bad", "having fat on your body is bad" etc etc etc and those messages can very negatively affect people. There is far more body negativity and body shaming than there is body positivity according to me.

And the fact that people are so scared of weight gain, so scared of having fat on their bodies... that isnt healthy. You are more than your body, even if that is hard to believe. We are our brains, our personality and so  much more... not our clothes, our appearance, our body.

Weight gain is NOT a bad thing unless it puts you in an unhealthy range - but then that is something you most likely need help with. Whether its a therapist or medical help. But if you are in a normal range, then gaining a few kilo isnt the end of the world. It is also important to remember that weightloss can help somethings and can help sometimes, but weightloss will NOT cure bad body image or low self esteem. Weightloss will not necessarily make you feel happier or make you love yourself... those things come from the inside, not just a number on the scale. Dont tell yourself that you will love yourself when you weigh X kilo, because IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. Of course for some, weightloss can boost self esteem somewhat but in the end, bad body image and self hate wont go away when the kilos drop off. Those things you need to work with on your mental health. But once again, weightloss isnt bad either... it all depends, but i dont think that people should be so scared of gaining some weight, because it isnt the end of the world. There are far more important things than if you have stomach rolls or stretch marks, because most people have those things because THEY ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL.

We need to realise that numbers dont matter. Our weight, our height, or waist measurement, or thigh measurement etc, none of those things really matter. What matter is HEALTH, because that is number one at the end. Health and happiness... you cant be fully happy if your health is not at its best and you cant be fully healthy if you arent happy either. Those things should go together but they wont work if you are too focused on a number and think that by losing weight everything will get better and you will be happy, when that might not be the case.

I dont really know where i am going with this post, i just felt i needed to write..... needed to get out my thoughts. That it scares me sometimes how people are so terrified of fat on their body and weight gain, when there are far worse things in life and far more things to be concerned and worried about. And i hope that there will be a body positive revolution, where people begin to accept and love all bodies.... and i want to be part of that revolution. With my blog i want to encourage self love, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, whatever that means for you. I have found my health and my happiness (which at times i am still working at) but i know what makes me happy and healthy. And that works for ME, dont try to copy me and my lifestyle and think that that will make you happy and healthy, you need to find what makes YOU happy and healthy and realise that the number on the scale doesnt matter and neither do your stretch marks, cellulite or stomach rolls. And if someone says they do matter, then f**k them, and thats my opinion. Especially when it comes to guys telling girls how they should or shouldnt look.... but that can be saved for another post.

Love yourself and focus on what is best for YOU. And remember, weight gain is not a bad thing and especially not the end of the world.


  1. thanks izzy, i just want to cry right now. this is so so hard, i just want to be free I'm finding gaining weight by myself so hard and having to manage my own food and weight and additions is hard. i just want to be free. why can't i accept weight gain? I'm hungry and yet i can't allow myself to eat more cos my weight is going up. I'm in so much torment.

    1. <3 keep going, and take care :) one day at a time... <3