Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, October 16, 2015

Taking time for yourself

Friday evening....

I want to sigh and say "what a day" and not even sure if its a good day or a bad day. It should be a good day... positive things and good things today. But i cant help but feel like an awful person and like its been an awful day. Ive tuned out the world today..... apart from the time spent with my mum, ive just sort of turned everything off. Not wanting contact with anybody and that is never good. But i felt that i needed to zone out to another place... zone out to some dream world, a dream place. Just sitting and colouring, listening to music, then taking a power nap and then just lying and listening to music.  It feels like a day wasted, a day where i could have been productive but then again, when i have no creativity, no energy, motivation or drive, then its hard to write anything or even be productive. So i guess i needed today, however it feels like i have far too many of these "nothing" days and its nice but at the same time scares me... because what if life becomes a bunch of "Nothing" days because i dont have the energy or motivation to do anything else with my life.

But i am reminding myself, that that isnt the case and that next week its time for studies again and even if that scares me alot. It scared me to have to start studying again, but i know it will also be some sort of positive in a way, and maybe have some online things going on as well.... alll depends on different things.

For now, i am going to continue doing some colouring - a form of meditiation and anxiety therapy - and then sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day mentally!

Also... my parents came home with ben and jerrys and chocolate. Not just for me... for the family!! I wasnt actually craving ben and jerrys but a little is always nice and lots of chocolate!!



Have any of you tried the new Ben and Jerrys flavours?

Do you have any special Ben and Jerry flavours in your country? 

Do you have a favoute Ben and Jerry (or any ice cream) flavour? :)

12 comments:

  1. There's nothing wrong with having a while or three with no one but yourself and nothing but your head. Actually it's quite valuable to have that choice in your hands when needed! Rest days shouldn't always be for muscles only. Let's face it: the brain does a hell of a lot of work with all the stimuli around without even trying. Mental fatigue isn't an illusion.

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    1. You are very right. I guess I'm just a little hard on myself. But thank you :) the brain does need rest.

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  2. I feel like you literally have these days every day. You're always like, "it's okay to just have a day where you do nothing" as if you have to justify the fact that you don't work or do anything with your life besides go to the gym and blog. Like you're what, 19? Get a fucking job. You may be motivated enough to do things in the gym but you're so lazy when it comes to real life. Honestly feel sorry for you

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    1. You obviously don't understand mental disorders. Keep your comments to yourself or be supportive. I honestly feel sorry for you for being so shallow and pathetic to say such a thing.

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    2. The fact that I post about 5% of what I actually do. You have no idea what I do during my days and that I am searching for jobs however it's not so easy as go ti the store, hand in a cv and magically get a job. But I am working in other ways, and the fact that at the moment I am struggling with depression doesn't make it easier to just get shit done, but I by no means use that as an excuse. Infact I am searching for jobs, doing alot of online work, emails etc my nothing days most often always include emailing and blogging which isn't a complete mental rest or nothing day. I don't really know what the point of your comment was. ... whether it was to make me feel worse than I already do? Because you have absaloutly no idea how terrible I feel over the fact that I haven't been studying or working and the fact that I have been so low and had no energy to actually apply for jobs has made me feel like an awful person and a failure. It's only recently that I have been able to find the energy and motivation to apply for jobs and to actually consider wanting to study again. You have no idea how I feel, what I actually do during my days or not. So your comment was unnecessary here.

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    3. Wow, that's a disgusting comment. There's nothing wrong with taking time out to get yoir head and life together and figure out where it is you want to go. Millions of young people take a gap year to do that and especially when you're mentally at a difficult place it's absolutely necessary to not overwhelm yourself with pressure and expectations. Izzy is doing everuthing she can to figure out her future. If she was laying in bed all day just giving up hope or having an "I don't care attitude" then that would be a different story. But sometimes life isn't as simple as just finding the perfect job and studies. Such things take time but eventually they will fall into place. Do what you have to do Izzy, for you!!

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  3. Dear Izzy, please don't chide yourself for "nothing" days. It is part of depression, part of healing. At least, that is my experience. It took months for me, but it went away in the end. You are doing great. Hang in there! Please! Lots of love, sleep well tonight and sweet dreams. Thank you for your beautiful posts and beautiful blog.

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    1. Thank you... though I prefer being productive each day, knowing I've done something productive and not just wasted a day.... but sometimes the energy just isn't there to be productive. :(

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  4. To the 'anonymous' commenter above who feels the need to spread negativity .. please don't, you may be angry that something is going on in your life and upset by that but this is a space where people (including Izzy) should feel free enough to open up and share their emotions, and reach out to a support network they may not be getting elsewhere. Please reconsider what you have written and the repercussions of this on someone who is suffering from a mental health disorder

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  5. Thankyou for making this blog. As a person in recovery from an eating disorder I have found your info so helpful (: p.s how tall are you?

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    1. Thank you :) I am 176cm right now.

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