I want to sigh and say "what a day" and not even sure if its a good day or a bad day. It should be a good day... positive things and good things today. But i cant help but feel like an awful person and like its been an awful day. Ive tuned out the world today..... apart from the time spent with my mum, ive just sort of turned everything off. Not wanting contact with anybody and that is never good. But i felt that i needed to zone out to another place... zone out to some dream world, a dream place. Just sitting and colouring, listening to music, then taking a power nap and then just lying and listening to music. It feels like a day wasted, a day where i could have been productive but then again, when i have no creativity, no energy, motivation or drive, then its hard to write anything or even be productive. So i guess i needed today, however it feels like i have far too many of these "nothing" days and its nice but at the same time scares me... because what if life becomes a bunch of "Nothing" days because i dont have the energy or motivation to do anything else with my life.
But i am reminding myself, that that isnt the case and that next week its time for studies again and even if that scares me alot. It scared me to have to start studying again, but i know it will also be some sort of positive in a way, and maybe have some online things going on as well.... alll depends on different things.
For now, i am going to continue doing some colouring - a form of meditiation and anxiety therapy - and then sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day mentally!
Also... my parents came home with ben and jerrys and chocolate. Not just for me... for the family!! I wasnt actually craving ben and jerrys but a little is always nice and lots of chocolate!!