But i wish that eating disorders werent a thing, or i wish mental illnesses didnt exist... I wish that the brain could just co operate with the body and that the mind didnt become something negative. But i also wish that all other illnesses didnt exist either... i mean cancer, diabetes, aids etc are all pretty awful illnesses which i wish no one had to suffer through. But because i have personally suffered from eating disorders, depression and self harm i wish that no one else has to suffer from it. But the truth is, there are more people than ever struggling with eating disorders and that thought is scary. That so many people are struggling and suffering in silence, so many people who see food as something bad, something that shouldnt be part of their life, but at the same time its all they think about. So many people who hate every millimeter of their body, hate themselves and their lives. So many people who hate themselves so much that they would rather die than have to gain weight. So many people hurting themselves just to sruvive each day. I have been one of them... i have been the person who would rather die than have a healthy weight, the person who would lock herself in the bathroom and hurt herself just to try to get rid of the mental pain i felt. The girl who found it so hard to eat that she would rather not eat at all, and the girl who accepted that life wouldnt be a long one for her. But that is not life and that is not something anyone should have to suffer from.
It breaks my heart to see so many people struggling and i more than ever wish that i could help you all. Help everyone struggling and make them realise that life is worth living, that food is not the enemy but something that should be enjoyed. Food is something that should be eaten and enjoyed but of course too much of anything isnt good, but that doesnt mean that its a bad thing. Its about changing your thoughts, going against the negative and controlling thoughts and fighting for a healthier and happier mindset.
I dont really know why i am writing this post, but i guess i just wish i could give you all a virtual hug and to remind you that IT CAN GET BETTER.You might not believe it now, but it can. I dont know how much of an inspiration i am myself when i am not at my healthiest or happiest stage at the moment and sometimes i need to remind myself that life is worth it and that i cant give up just because times are tough. But i do wish to help others, to make others realise that you can recover from your eating disorder but you need to make it better then and you have to want to get better for yourself. Because in the end, its your life and your body and nobody can force you to do something you dont want to... because people can force you to eat and gain weight, but if you dont want to recover you will eventually end up losing the weight again because it wasnt a choice you wanted or wanted to make for yourself. So you need to find it within yourself to want to recover and want it for yourself.
Stay strong and make today a good day!!! Keep fighting, no matter how tough it is.. you need to dare to make a change and do the things that scare you, otherwise they will always be fear and something that controls you. You can do it.